Kiwi Crocus (cranky__crocus) wrote,
Kiwi Crocus

I haven't posted in nearly two weeks. Completely unintentional.

Yesterday was Halloween. We had a meeting from hell, private reviews with the Programme Director (the one I'm uncomfortable around), and an interesting field trip with the kids to a park at the nearby high school where there was a Halloween gathering. I only had a few kids left by the end but they loved it. I have one student moving away after tomorrow; she and her friends cried through snack. I nearly cried myself. I may tomorrow. Damn and double damn.

(Another colleague--the one who is in her fifth year at the programme--is leaving. Today was her last day; we were told that at the meeting. It was a huge blow. Her kids are being transferred to the other classrooms, which means I get four new 3rd-graders starting next week; I will no longer have anything like the "4th-grade class" as the 3rd grade will outnumber them. To some degree, I have to start over on classroom culture. I am the opposite of excited. I want to curl up in a ball for a long time. It's so sudden. And so fucking sad. P [the now-ex-colleague] was so supportive and welcoming and even maternal; she cared so deeply about all of us and it was apparent even when I couldn't always understand her due to a language barrier. I had taken to picking her brain for all sorts of things--as well as moral support. She was the one I captured the hornet for and we co-taught the lesson together.)

Today starts National Novel Writing Month. It'll be my 9th year. I hope I can pull it off; it can be a great point of sanity for me despite the craziness. It's a consistency from year to year now, too, which is a comfort.

I should head off to bed. I've been terrible with my night off tonight in that, while I've done much catching up on things I've personally wanted to do, I didn't get the work I needed done all finished. Now I've got to wake up, get my lesson plan sorted for next week, firm up my plan for my new First Friday class (Technology with the 4th/5th graders), make a timeline and print things out for that, and firm up/potentially print things out for my Friday Second class (story-writing with various ages since it's an elective). I should have had it done earlier in the week. I didn't. Oh well.

Good gods do I hate feeling so turbulent with everything all the time. Finally got to feeling the slightest bit settled and whoosh, there goes the rug. Guess I'll have to get used to it feeling like a flying carpet ride.

(Thank goodness I have my fellow-newbie E. She rides in the car with me most days and keeps me sane. We've both worked in much better education settings and under much better management. She'll also be delighted that I'm adopting a tortoise off one of my youth this weekend; she's got one as well.)

Happy Belated Halloween! And Happy November / National Novel Writing Month!

[Crossposted from dreamwidth.]
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