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20 December 2012 @ 05:14 am
It is a terrible time to be awake. Unfortunately it's only partially my choice. Last night, too, I had a burst of anxiety that kept me up past 6 (unfortunate as I had to start my house-sitting at 9). Napping didn't work great but I made it through the day. I can feel the exhaustion but attempts to sleep fail.

SyFy has episodes of Buffy on--a great season for Willow/Tara. Mean to have such a thing on at this time. Does remind me of my time at [personal profile] lash_larue's, though; you all lucked out in not hearing about my hours watching Buffy what with there being no WiFi there. :P Miss Kitty-Fantastico has just been introduced. Lesbians sharing their first cat. ♥

I'm doing alright. I miss Providence. It's only been five days since I've been there, but it definitely feels like five days away from home. I'm a nook person: I always pick a bunk or loft when one is available; I arrange my furniture to create "sections" in my room (sleeping/reading, technology, spirituality, misc./whatever); I put up hangings when I want a little cave. My Providence room is itself a nook divided into niches, which I love, and unfortunately my old room in the family home doesn't really have that feel any more (which it shouldn't, since it's not my room any more). It has my pug, which is lovely, but I'm not there either.

I have three house-sitting gigs planned for this month into next and another potential one. 19th to the 23rd (the one I'm currently in), get to sleep at the family home at least on Christmas Eve (thank goodness: I go to both Christmas Eve services at my congregation and often help out, despite that it's not "my holiday" spiritually), house-sitting for some neighbours the 25th to the 27th, and then move straight into another house-sitting job from the 27th to the 2nd (so including New Year's Eve). Perhaps one for around the 13th of January.

Now, house-sitting is great! I'm good with animals--even this shy and submissive rescue dog I'm with currently--and I make money, which is a good thing to make (well, earn). I like house/pet-sitting, too. It's just a bit strange to have finally felt so settled in Providence, pretty much exactly a month there, and then be gone for another 2.5 weeks straight with potentially another 5 days added on.

Gone from living with 8 of my friends and a bunch of animals to living for a few days with my family and my outgoing dog to currently living with just a shy dog. Guess I'm a bit lonely, honestly, which feels odd since I'm usually the "alone but not lonely" sort.

But I'm awake watching Buffy the Vampire at 5.30 in the morning, it's the 20th of December and thus one of my favourite times of the year, and I'm realising that except for a few trips to Providence (no staying over) and the time just around the holidays for Christmas, I won't really be home. I'll be so close--within one town of the family home and 45 minutes of Providence--but not quite there.

Not sure why I went into such detail about all that; I suppose I didn't really need to. But I've been awake working on the Order of Service for the College Student Service I'm coordinating for the 30th (had to get a draft of it in today/Thursday and can get the finished one in tomorrow/Friday) and it's been on my mind. I hope that getting some of it out will help me sleep. Later today I'm finishing the Order of Service, hanging around 'til the pup's dinner time, then heading to Providence to buy an ugly sweater (for a Boxing Day party at a friend's) and some sweets (for being Santa!Trixie), practise the Trixie performance with friends, and hang out a bit--maybe nap with housemates, since I miss doing that.

Miss my little Cupboard filled with faerie lights and my rainbow duvet and my little herd of misfit animals. I'll try to dream of that--of just being there. At least I know I'm somewhere good in life, even with the bouts of anxiety.

[Crossposted from dreamwidth.]
Current Location: House-sitting House One.
Current Mood: lonelyLonely.
minervas_eule: Minerva's Euleminervas_eule on December 20th, 2012 12:40 pm (UTC)
*hugs* - that really is going from one side of the spectrum to the other, you being alone with just a shy dog for company at your current job! Watching something on TV which one otherwise does not find the time to do, is probably the best solution... but not being able to sleep sounds terrible!
Kiwi Crocus: Seasonal || Faerie lights.cranky__crocus on December 29th, 2012 08:05 pm (UTC)
*Hugs back.* Thank you. It is definitely going from one extreme to another. Now I'm here in Housesitting House Three, which is even bigger, with a dog who is not shy but is most of the time less snuggly than Bear (the shy dog) turned out to be when he had warmed up to me. (This dog, Cooper, is very happy and playful and does snuggle, often at night, but otherwise likes to go stand guard and bark at those who have the audacity to walk by the house. :P)

I've left the TV on for myself. This time I've got it on to Animal Planet so I can watch the heartwarming stories of pitbulls getting rescued and adopted.

Still having a rough time of sleeping at the right time, though. I think part of it is being alone and in a house that isn't mine.
shadowycat: Santa Kermitshadowycat on December 20th, 2012 04:33 pm (UTC)
Even if you are the type who values sometimes being alone, going from one extreme to the other is going to take some getting used to! Being in strange surroundings probably doesn't help much either. At least it's temporary. I hope you'll begin to feel comfortable enough to sleep better soon though. Perhaps shy dog is feeling lonely, too, and you can find a way to be a comfort for each other.
Kiwi Crocus: Judi || Compact & portable giant.cranky__crocus on December 29th, 2012 08:09 pm (UTC)
What you say is very true! I'm on to Housesitting House Three, which is bigger and feels very empty with just me.

I do love being alone, but mostly in space that I have claimed as my own--my bedroom/house, any hotel room I'm in, that sort of thing. I only half claim places I house-sit, especially with gigs like this, in which I'm house-sitting for houses that I have only come to as part of the job. Other times I'll pet-sit/house-sit for friends whom I visit apart from sitting for them.

Shy dog was definitely feeling lonely as well. (: I used all my tricks and by the next day we were great pals; he snuggled right up to me when I was on the sofa and decided he was a lap-dog (his size didn't entirely agree :B ).
?elsceetaria on December 23rd, 2012 07:48 pm (UTC)

I understand the feeling. Your room sounds lovely, by the way.
Kiwi Crocus: Hair || Rainbow French braid.cranky__crocus on December 29th, 2012 08:10 pm (UTC)
*Hugs back.* Thank you! My room is certainly lovely to me. :D I hope to get a video up at some point, when I'm completely finished with it; I still have some stuff that has to go away and some decorations in the back of my car that I'd like to get up.