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18 November 2012 @ 03:58 pm
All right, life, fine: I admit to having a crush on a minister.

Further proof that Lady Luck does not at all guide my romantic interests. Really, though? Really?

She just got married! As in, having her final service (UUs often have multiple events) soon! Granted, at least she's under 30; you're getting warmer there. Maybe next time.

So I've fallen for the same straight woman twice--once at 16 and once at 21--a few women who reminded me of her (little crushes), and am now developing a crush on a young, straight, just-married minister. I think someone like JKR is writing my life to be a tragic tale of ridiculous unrequited feelings meant to act as a sad form of humour. I am growing into one of those supporting spinster characters with a set of odd quirks to make sure I'm not too powerful or too tragic and so there's always enough humour to not take me completely seriously.

Drat those women with Presbyterian childhoods. Seems I fall for them whether fictional or physical. *Grins.*

I'll just go pick up a Bluejay bird hat with a rainbow hat and be done with it, all quirks in line. You all can call me Kiweni 'Kiwi' Stubbly-Punk; I'll just be up in a little tower with a crup, a hypoallergenic kneazle, lots of books, and some tea.

(Note: This is not the reason I spend so much time on/with my congregation; I would be doing it anyway. It's just nice having someone to admire out of the corner of my eye. [And, as that statement implies, I do not actually mind this crush one bit; it's quite fun. It's nice having a young minister to be giggly with and we get along great.])

Sorry I've been so absent! The Providence house is distracting. Do you know how difficult it is to write when there is a three-month-old Siamese runt-kitten trying to sit on your keyboard? Especially when she is just too cute to move and so you suffer the inevitable consequence of having "lhggggggggggvd", etc. written into your novel? Well, if you've never had the privilege, just come visit me. You could also try getting some work done when there is a nine-month-old kitten-cat purring and trying to get you to rub his tummy. Or perhaps the ferret who really just wants to play and then fall asleep on you, much like the kitten. And all the people around for conversations and joint television watching. It's also NaNo WriMo, so much of my freetime that would be for Livejournal has gone into writing. I'm at 23,000 words--so 7,000 behind and I think I can make a dent in that today/this evening.

I really need to get used to living in a house with lots of people again. :P For now, though, I'm back in MA since there was service today (I was in the back writing). This evening there is an Interfaith service happening at the congregation and I'm intrigued, so I'll probably show my face. I also have a job kidsitting tomorrow and the next day from noon to five down the street, so I'll be staying longer than I intended. But money is good!

There I am, Not Writing. I'm sure you can't possibly guess why. That little cat has no cares, either; she puts up with anything. D'awwwr, Arwen. You've distracted me again and you're not even here!

ETA: This is a terribly unflattering picture of me, but Arwen is just too adorable and likes to keep her pillow still with the gentle application of a paw.

[Crossposted from dreamwidth.]
Current Mood: sleepySleepy.
minervas_eule: laughminervas_eule on November 19th, 2012 06:37 am (UTC)
Your Providence house looks and sounds distracting indeed *gg*!

Good to hear that your personal little cupid is learning to aim his arrows closer to target ;-))

It's just nice having someone to admire out of the corner of my eye. - that is so true: all my life I always warmed up to some new hobby/work/social setting after I had found someone there I developed a crush on.... such a wonderful extra motivation/gratification to go (get out of the bed in the first place :-) ).
Kiwi Crocus: HP || Minerva || Time stood still.cranky__crocus on November 19th, 2012 06:54 am (UTC)
It certainly is distracting in both looks and sounds! But in the best way, of course. It's the stuff of which stories are made. ;D

Ahahaha my personal cupid should still go and spend some time on the archery range, methinks. Given its zer only job, one might think ze'd be a bit better at it. Although I'm all good with, as I mentioned, the age and even the profession--my life would not go poorly if I continued to fall for ministers (my religion has many gay ministers all along the gender spectrum; a number of them are even polyamorous). The real problems arise from the 'straight' and (I assume monogamously) 'married' parts. :P

Yes, what you mention, certainly! It's wonderful to have another crush in this place, too. I remember when I was 16 I developed a pretty serious crush on one of the teens there a year younger than I was. We were good friends and I knew that she'd take it well if I told her (and she's straight, again, so I didn't wonder about reciprocation); she was incredibly flattered at my feelings, knowing how picky I am, and it actually drew us closer together. We're still dearheart friends, although we don't see each other often. (I think she was my only true crush on someone my age, if I recall correctly; she has always been very mature.)

So now it is an added plus to spending time in a way I already love spending my time--volunteering with my congregation! Cute Minister is 100% behind getting an active senior youth programme running again, too, and even tentatively threw her name out as a possible adviser (fearing the teen in the room and I may veto her offer). I told her I was thrilled at the idea.

Thankfully I think I'll be fine without confessing this one. All my other confessions have been to single women whom I knew would take it well (i.e., not awkwardly or negatively). It's early in the game, but I doubt I'll feel any driving compulsion to tell.

What's lovely about this one is that for I suppose the second time in my life (including my teenage crush) I feel as though I have feelings for an equal. Sure, she's already a minister and has thus made it through ministry (so she's farther along what could also be my path in life), but I feel I have as much raw talent, potential, and developed skill when it comes to a number of things. Not to say that life's a competition, of course...it's just that often times my crushes start out with this big portion of admiration and then I slowly begin to make the "we're both human, we're both equal" realisations. I admire her, certainly, but not in a way that has me putting her above myself. So my crush started from a different place and it's been lovely!

I feel I have an inkling of how it might go the next time--hopefully. If my personal cupid gets zer act together and learns a bit from Katniss (Hunger Games reference :P ).
albalark: Dangerous out therealbalark on November 19th, 2012 06:56 am (UTC)
How darling is *that*?! I am having kitten lust something fierce now, since my lazy old boys are too big now to snuggle into the crook of my arm. And goodness gracious, it sounds as if you have the full menagerie there - do all of your roomies have pets?

Good luck on the NaNoWriMo - will we ever get to read these masterpieces that you sit down to write every November? I seem to remember a mermaid being the centerpiece of last year's effort. :-)

Need to head to bed now, but I'll be dreaming of kittens now instead of dance dresses which won't cooperate - thanks for that!
Kiwi Crocus: Women || Water nyph.cranky__crocus on November 19th, 2012 07:11 am (UTC)

I had to scroll down without looking at the pictures or I knew I would get hopelessly lost again. :P There are only two housemates who do not have pets in the actual house; I am one of them. (Both of us do have pets--I have a dog and she has a cat--but they don't live in the house.)

Thank you! And if I ever produced masterpieces I'd perhaps share them. :B Yes, last year I had a mermaid (I had some other term so it wasn't so focused on gender roles, I think :B) main character and another as a strong supporting character--and she was a total, unrepentant dyke. Like, "I'm going to sing my seduction to the womenfolk of passing ships and further my seductions with those who are interested"--a siren serving "little deaths" instead of real ones. She's an old-lady mermaid who is a great big fan of the OLSB. And a bit of a voyeur.

Buuuut my computer ate my notes for that story (not the actual novel or the outline) so at this point I'd have to go back and read through all of it to continue it. I may do that, though; I had great fun writing it and there is more smut to be written. I'd have to decide if I actually want to include some of the 'Disney magic' (it's an unconventional lesbian rip-off of The Little Mermaid) instead of keeping it more sci-fi so I could follow the plot more closely. DECISIONS.

And this year I have nearly 25,000 words of what will be an incredibly long story about Minerva that no one will want to read. Really. Truly. It would bore the pants off anyone else, so it's a wonder I'm actually enjoying the process. :P

I think the fact that I do NaNoWriMo every year proves that I have an internal drive to write rather than an external one, haha. Bah, writers--always nattering on and on about something.

ETA: Enjoy the kitten dreams! Maybe next time Arwen's out when I'm around I'll take a video. Actually, I think I have some on my camera. Let me know whenever you need to be distracted: my house can provide endless animal and human-animal entertainment.

Edited at 2012-11-19 07:12 am (UTC)
CaroRulescarorules on November 19th, 2012 06:30 pm (UTC)
Not fun to fall for the wrong person.. I hope someone else come along to ditract you ;)

OMG at the cat, you look so peaceful holding that cutie!
Kiwi Crocus: Animal || Pug lick.cranky__crocus on November 19th, 2012 07:43 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha it's actually plenty of fun for me to have crushes, even for the 'wrong' person. But I wouldn't mind further distraction by someone else!

Awwr, thanks. :D I'd love to have a less unflattering picture of me with the kitten. :P
CaroRulescarorules on November 19th, 2012 07:45 pm (UTC)
Crushes are indeed fun, but a lil more can be wicked cool too!
Ginger: RD squeeeee!rainydaymare on November 19th, 2012 07:49 pm (UTC)
Ok, I knew that was going to be cute, but I was unprepared for the sheer amount of D'AWWWWW in those photos. I've been missing having a kitty since my last one died and GAHHHHHH I WANT ONE NOWWWWWW. ::asking Santa for a kitten this christmas lol::

And unflattering my butt, you look plenty cute yourself. :3
Kiwi Crocus: Hair || Flowers in her hair.cranky__crocus on December 6th, 2012 07:49 am (UTC)
Ahahaha. I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty! I don't have any of my own, but I have a house full of cats that I love, so I cuddle them a lot. :P

You're way too complimentary with that picture haha.
twisted_knicker: INCOMING!!!twisted_knicker on December 2nd, 2012 01:30 am (UTC)
Umm. . .I really, Really want to steal that kitten. I squeed like a girl at the cuteness. *blushes* I can has?

Also, I'll trade you cutes for cutes: http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/ Pick a link on that page, any link. Cutes abound!
Kiwi Crocus: Nature || Black kitten tilt.cranky__crocus on December 6th, 2012 07:51 am (UTC)
I think my housemate might kill you if you tried to steal her kitten. :P

Awwwr to all of those!