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04 October 2012 @ 05:57 am

Insomnia or nocturnalism or worry or combination or whatever it is that keeps me awake when I am frightened of something in the world or in my life, you suck.

I mean, I'm happy to be filling the time with Minerva!fic, but it'd really be nice to just go sleep before 5.50 in the morning, when I am hearing cars starting outside as people head off to work.

I would love, right now, to have a nice hot-warm bath with some scents and candlelight and some soft music. If I recall correctly, the last time I tried for that it didn't work so well.

Alas, now is not the time. Soon I'll be taking Mugz to the vet. Then perhaps I'll try for a nap (sometimes I'm more able to catch some sleep during the day), a trip to the bank, and a solo trip to Providence before Mugz needs me again. Would try for a relaxing bath tonight, but it's the birthday party of one of my housemates so I'll be heading back to Providence--potentially with my parents in the other car so we can get more stuff upstairs. Who knows.

I'm tempted to say "this is my life?" but I'm not that surprised. Sometimes I feel so confident and capable, sometimes I don't; sometimes I'm able to fake it (or fake it 'til I make it), but sometimes I just...can't. I'll keep my To Do List around me and see what happens. Maybe another fake conversation with a fictional character will motivate me. Again, who knows.

(I don't even know what this post is. I probably shouldn't post it. Posting it under these conditions is like drunk posting, I think, which I have a rule against. Hmm...oh well. *Posts to cranky__crocus*)
CaroRulescarorules on October 4th, 2012 02:28 pm (UTC)
I hope the vet can help out..