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15 August 2012 @ 09:16 pm
Why My Brother is Dweeb  
(So that the tone of this gets across as-written, I want to clarify that this is not a rant post. I have been amused through the interactions and through the typing of this post.)

I don't think I've previously given real reasons for why my brother is a dweeb, and thus why I call him Dweeb as a nickname. I will give examples here, all of which occured within minutes of each other:

[Kiwi heads downstairs to put her laundry in the wash, where she discovers that a bomb of her brother's clothes has gone off everywhere. The dryer is also open, half-full of his clothes with some in the process of escaping.]
Kiwi: "Ugh, Dweeb!" [She puts her clothes in the washing machine, goes about adding the detergent and turning it on. It makes odd noises at her and appears to be entirely displeased with its existence.] "Double ugh." [Her dog, Muggzzey, runs up and starts sniffing.] "Has Dweeb fed you, darling? Let's go find him and ask. About the machine, too."
Mugz: "Sniff sniff, huff-snort grumble." [Wags tail, hits head on doorframe, shakes head, wags more.]

[Kiwi roams around the house shouting "DWEEB!" and "XANDER!" No response. She barrels into his room, where the light is on, to find it empty.]
Kiwi: "Cat dirt, donkey dung, horse bollocks."
Dweeb: [Yelling from downstairs.] "DID YOU JUST RUN INTO MY ROOM?"
Kiwi: "YES!"
Dweeb: "WHY?"
Kiwi: "BECAUSE THE LIGHT WAS ON AND I COULDN'T SEE YOU IN THE PLAYROOM WITH THE LIGHTS OFF!" [Finally makes it downstairs.] "Did you not hear me yelling for you everywhere?"
Dweeb: [Laughs sheepishly.] "Uuhhh...no?"
Kiwi: "I even called you, but your phone is still out of batteries."
Dweeb: "Yeah. I lost the charger. Can I borrow yours?"
Kiwi: [Pauses to stare at him.] "You realise that this is the second charger you will be asking me for, right? My phone and Kindle use the same type, so I already gave you my extra one the last time you asked. Where did you leave it?"
Dweeb: "Down at the Reds' house."
Kiwi: "Okay, alright. You can borrow my charger--but leave it in my room. It's up on my bed; charge your phone there."
Dweeb: "Cool cool. First I have to find my phone. It's been so long since I used it that I lost it."
Kiwi: [Rolls eyes.] "Ugh: You Dweeb."
Dweeb: "It's not my fault I spend all day gaming and doing nothing so I lose things!" [He laughs as he untangles himself from his computer.]
Kiwi: "Uh-huh."

[The Crocus Children start moving.]
Kiwi: "Did you feed or let out the dog?"
Dweeb: "No."
Kiwi: "Good. I did. Is the washing machine broken?"
Dweeb: "Uhh...I guess?"
Kiwi: "Brilliant. And are those your clothes in the dryer?" [Watches very carefully, for of course she knows they're his clothes.]
Dweeb: "Oh, uh, yeah. I was in a hurry and just grabbed what I needed."
Kiwi: "Gotchya. Are you going to take them up to your room?"
Dweeb: "Uhhh...do you need me to?"
Kiwi: [Huffs and laughs.] "Well, since I'm clearly attempting to do my laundry, it'd sure be lovely!"
Dweeb: "Kay."

He came up with his phone a minute ago. The clothing is now in a new pile in his room. There is a bowl of ramen broth by Mum's laptop and an unrinsed pot from his making of the ramen.

Now, the word 'dweeb' has a number of more specific definitions, but for the general definition is "loser". (There are a number of similar terms: dweeb, dork, geek, nerd; they all have slightly different definitions but for the most part imply some sort of loser-ness. Gamers hear most of them from time to time.) "Dweeb" can also mean the socially inept, unattractive nerd-type-person...but one of the reasons I use it for my brother is that he is none of those: his other stereotype in school was a jock (he was a winning player of the high school tennis team). He's tall, dark, and handsome; he can be a bit of an arrogant arse (his friends all rag on him for it as well) but he can charm the ladies when he wants; he's absolutely capable of just about anything when he sets his mind to it.

He just prefers not to.

Hence, dweeb.

(And, for the record, he could reciprocate at any time; he just doesn't seem to have the knack for it. He could turn right around and start calling me "Dork", which would be perfect in that it would fit the same way Dweeb fits him: I have odd interests that are not usually "cool" and I am often silly/eccentric; yet the specific definitions often point to being socially inept or ugly, neither of which I am. He once tried to start calling me "Oh Helpless One" when I requested someone else get ketchup for me during a meal [I was in my fourth month of crutching after my soccer injury at 14] but it didn't catch on because when he pissed me off [he was 12; he tended to do that] I could hop after him even if he stole my crutches, beat him up, and steal the crutches back without great difficulty. "Helpless" I was not in any way.)

Ahahaha. Life with a 20-year-old boy-brother. Makes me laugh. Especially since he has the habits of a boy but the awareness of it of a man: he knows he's being naughty and doing it anyway. Dweeb.
zee: alice smilezofbadfaith on August 16th, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
I love this explanation! :D

It actually reminds me of why I call my siblings Chubs & Chubby... and neither of them actually are chubby in the first place. And the reciprocation I get are common nicknames, which makes it very funny ;)
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on August 16th, 2012 01:52 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it!

And yes, I think sibling nicknames are pretty common! A lot of people get it, but some seem to think it's incredibly mean or something... I don't know. It's a form of bonding, really, something within the family. I do see it commonly from the top-down (oldest making nicknames for the younger siblings) but I also see it from the middle-out or from the bottom-up, with everyone getting a nickname!

(Hell, I call my father "Master Dweeb" on occasion, since my brother gets his tendencies from genetics.)

I could easily call my brother Chubs, haha. He's tall and stick-thin but he eats fast-food all the frakking time. It's just not fair.
?elsceetaria on August 16th, 2012 03:05 am (UTC)
That was an awesome explanation. There was a phase where I referred to my sister as freak for reasons I can't remember, but I meant it with love.
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on August 16th, 2012 03:07 am (UTC)
Yes, I always mean it with love! I'd never call him "Dweeb" out of thinking he truly is one by all definitions, or out of wanting to truly be mean. I used to call him "Monkey Boy" because he loved climbing around on everything and getting himself in trouble; what was funny was that he could get himself quite stuck.