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13 August 2012 @ 08:04 pm
I've been noticing lately how often I see one of those messages on the top right of my Facebook stream with the big heart and some sort of engagement/marriage message.

And how I am now of the age that it is more likely to be true than a joke (many of us have been married or in partnerships with our friends; I currently still am, although it's because we are platonic life partners).

I just got the call from said-PLP that a good friend of the household is going to propose to another good friend of the household; they've been a couple for a while and hang out with The Household (it seriously needs a name) frequently. I don't know if I've mentioned, but our house is definitely famous around Providence and is absolutely a hub of activity.

So I've been told to drive on down so I can be there, as he wants everyone there. Another engagement. Though this isn't just one I see on Facebook. (:

Beginning to think this--the Engagement and Marriage Bugs--is the reason I keep getting asked if I'm dating. (I'm not, really, not in an active way. I am passively leaving myself open to the universe and happy with that.)

Off I go!

(For further clarification, the woman getting proposed to is the friend of the household who is having me and Casey watch Sherlock. Well, making Casey watch; I've already seen it so I've just been joining in because I like it.)
?elsceetaria on August 14th, 2012 03:40 am (UTC)
I could have written most of this entry. It's frustrating at times to pretty much constantly have so-and-so got engaged/married/whatever notices. I'm old enough to have seen some of those fizzle, but it still is kind of o.O It's annoying to constantly see those on top of the are you dating/you're how old and have never date/wtf?

There have been a few couples I've been genuinely happy about, but more often than not those notifications just make me feel like I'm in such a different place than many of my "peers."

I think I need to visit this household. It seems epic and amazing. Not that I'm anywhere near close enough to actually visit, so you don't have to worry about internet weirdo creepers.
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on August 19th, 2012 06:23 am (UTC)
Yeah, I think it's the judgement in "[you're how old] and you're not dating?" and the "wtf" response. As if that's what I have to be into right now just because my friends are getting engaged/married/having kids.

Oh, I'm definitely genuinely happy for many of them! This couple especially: they're totally endgame and adorable.

My household is pretty cool. (: It can be ridiculously frustrating, too, but we have a good time in the end. And you've met Peroxide! How can I think you're an Internet weirdo creeper? :P
?elsceetaria on August 19th, 2012 06:49 am (UTC)
The judgement of you're 25, and you've never had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or otherwise gendered significant other can be very strong. I try to ignore it, but social pressures are all you should date. Oh, you don't date because you can't get a guy. Well, maybe if you lost some weight and paid more attention to your appearance, you could find someone. It's ridiculous.

I should say there really have been quite a few happy ending I've happy about. It's just kind of annoying when someone you haven't talked to in eight years is popping up on the corner. Rinse and repeat.

If you want to see a ridiculously sweet proposal, may I reccommend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QVSH93kSk0

That couple sounds awesomeness.

I think all households can be frustrating, but as long as there is awesome it can be worth it.

I could still be an internet weirdo creeper. You never know. People on the internet can be shady like that. :P
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on August 19th, 2012 07:09 am (UTC)
Yeah, I get that. I'm 22 but I get the same. My father didn't do much dating until he was older, either; some people just don't. I don't feel as though I'm missing out on anything imperative to my needs, either. I don't feel a lacking.

Although I think most of the "oh you don't date because you can't get a girl" thoughts come more from me than from others--but I can usually send those off with reason and logic and a little self-confidence/-esteem when I can gather it. And I spend plenty of attention on my appearances--it's just in my own way that others don't appreciate. :P (And, alright, perhaps not as much TIME as others would spend.)

That is the most adorable proposal, d'awwwwr. :B I think the one I witnessed was more...unconventional? I just went to find the video but I see it was only put on FB and not on YT or anything. I'll have to describe it in a post some time.

Pfft. I trust and have met Peroxide, she trusts and has met you, and therefore...you can guess!
?elsceetaria on August 19th, 2012 07:31 am (UTC)
Personally, I don't care. I really don't. I've just heard that more times than I could count (and okay, I've mimicked back to my sister who DOES WANT to find a guy). Seriously, if you want a significant other of some form, you usually will find one. My I'm somewhere on the asexual scale self (even if I am romantic) doesn't generally, so society can deal. (And once again, I'm not sure that actually makes sense).

I know it's so sweet. It is very conventional in its own way, but adorable. We three all went to the same UMC music camp back in the day. They didn't start dating until several years later. It's quite adorable.

Got it. :)
CaroRulescarorules on August 14th, 2012 09:09 pm (UTC)
It's normal that at the a certain age, people around us start to get engaged and such. People in my circle are starting to have kids and it is good news but also a little unsettling. Just gotta go with the flow even if it's not things you're into right now.
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on August 19th, 2012 06:34 am (UTC)
I'm aware that it's normal at a certain age? I guess this was my way of putting/acknowledging it; many of my friends are currently having real freak-outs about "oh my god everyone around me is having kids or getting married or getting engaged what the fuck!" I'm not really having a crisis over it, and I completely expected it, so it's not as though noticing it comes with any real shock or angst for me.

People in my circle (well, my wider circle—like Facebook) are starting to have kids, too; some started as early as 2008 (the year I graduated high school). One of my best childhood friends who is my age has a one-year-old son. I feel bad that I'm not more involved but she's also known all our lives that I'm not into babies/babies tend to frighten me (delicate, messy little things :B) but that nowadays I do like older kids, usually over 5. (Previously I didn’t like kids at all.)

I'm flowin', I'm flowin', I promise. This is just my way of acknowledging that that's what I'm doing and seeing.

And yes, it's definitely something I'm not into "right now" but it's also not something I'm sure I'll be into ever. (I mean, committed relationships of whatever arrangement and number of people, sure--and possibly even commitment ceremonies. But I've never much been into the idea of marriage for myself.) So the fact that people are bugging me about it just because those around me are doing it peeves me, because often the judgment implies that I am lesser/really weird for not wanting that right now or even ever. I'm not lesser! I'm just not interested in the same things, and that's fine. Some people choose a childfree or animalfree life, and despite the fact that I can see myself having (but not giving birth) to children and DEFINITELY owning pets doesn't mean I feel entitled to judge them. Different strokes for different folks, or whatever floats the boat, or different lives for different guys. Long as people are happy, right?

Although if I came off as judging those who are currently getting monogamously engaged and married around me, I didn't mean to: I love the couple I watched get engaged that evening and think it was absolutely the right time for them. (They're a bit older than I am, too.) I can completely see things working out for them and they're very well suited to a committed monogamous relationship with one another and the proposal was perfect.
CaroRulescarorules on August 21st, 2012 05:49 pm (UTC)
I understand how you feel about the whole thing. I, myself don't feel the need to get married to be in a successful relationship. I guess to each their own.

I am def not giving birth to any children.. but we might own pets someday.. we'll see. I would not be closed to fostering kids in the future, but for now, I'm def not there yet.