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25 May 2012 @ 01:43 am
Is it strange to feel relieved and a bit pleased being sad after days of high-energy mostly-joy?

I wonder. It doesn't feel strange, though, so I suppose I'll let myself be the deciding factor here, at least for myself.

After three days of Ferry Beach with constant people and teenagers, then three days of house-sitting/looking after a teen, then a day in Providence (Best Exotic Marigold Hotel!) with plans for a trip to the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast / Museum tomorrow, Rocky Horror at a roller derby event on Saturday, church on Sunday, a week of friends/figuring out a job helping a friend sell collectibles, and a youth lock-in next Saturday...

It's just nice to feel something else, feel a bit of a down emotion, let myself yield to it and just say "it's alright, I can just feel sad for this time; I don't mind getting less sleep, I'm just going to let myself be." Let some energy use me instead of using energy.

Most everything's wonderful and I'm excited and I have so much to tell you all, but for now I can't and it's a surprisingly non-angsty thing. I've felt so much more comfortable with myself these last few weeks; I wonder if that's why I'm more comfortable with my sadness, too. And for the moment the comfort and the sadness are both nice.

Eh, I never claimed to be anything but an odd duckling (kiwiling). (; I'll probably regret the lack of sleep in the morning, though--hopefully it won't turn me into a Lizzie Borden myself!
minervas_eule: MHiU: hat patminervas_eule on May 25th, 2012 06:52 am (UTC)
Kiwi, what an admirable attitude..... I must reread your thoughts next time I am left feeling so empty after a string of days full of wonderful events and encounters. So far I have been very bad at accepting my sadness about the loss in these situations.... You're really wonderful ♥
Kiwi Crocus: Seasonal || Winter branch.cranky__crocus on May 30th, 2012 03:51 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, darling. ♥ Your words wipe away any feelings I had of being strange! For this and so much more, you are truly wonderful!
CaroRulescarorules on May 25th, 2012 01:42 pm (UTC)
Never been to a roller derby event but there's one in my town next week, I wanna go check it out!
Kiwi Crocus: Nature || Water path.cranky__crocus on May 30th, 2012 03:52 am (UTC)
You should! They're a blast and a great place to meet new friends or just have a great one-off time. :D It may be worth looking up the rules before-hand, though: the explanation at the beginning of the event (if there is one) is usually quick and not super helpful.
CaroRulescarorules on May 30th, 2012 01:11 pm (UTC)
Alright, I'll do so, thanks for the pointer. I know basically what the goal is but I don't know much about the rules and all.
minervas_eule: Maggie and Judiminervas_eule on May 25th, 2012 01:48 pm (UTC)
*Yeah* :-))) You just changed your journal style to something "less wintery" *LOL* This picture of Judi / "Wilhelmina G-P" for some ;-) is great !!
Kiwi Crocus: Hair || Blonde braid.cranky__crocus on May 30th, 2012 03:54 am (UTC)
Yup, and as usual you noticed before I even remembered to say anything about it! :D You're just too quick! :P It's still "wintery" enough for me in that the colour is mild/grey, but definitely less wintery than before. :3

Glad you like it!
lash_larue: tinykittylash_larue on May 25th, 2012 04:57 pm (UTC)
Nope, not strange at all.

People are kind of cyclical, and sad is part of the deal.

Of course, none of that is to deny your essential oddness. I'm pretty sure it was mutual oddness that brought us together in the first place.

It might however, be extraordinary forbearance on your part that has kept us that way.


Kiwi Crocus: Boots || Boots and jeans.cranky__crocus on May 30th, 2012 03:56 am (UTC)
Oh, no, it is certainly the mutual oddness that keeps us together! :D And thank you for your words.
Nicki: hopefulperoxidepirate on May 26th, 2012 03:17 am (UTC)
No, that makes perfect sense to me. I have those days, too. Most of us can't be high-energy all the time.

*hugs* Miss you.
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Letting the hair down.cranky__crocus on May 30th, 2012 03:57 am (UTC)
Miss you too. (:

I've been enjoying the low-energy today too, although it didn't come with the sadness the way the previous one did. But I enjoy it either way!
CINEASTE--. A film or movie enthusiast.: Rocky Horror Picture Showcinematixyz on May 26th, 2012 01:36 pm (UTC)
Lizzie Bordon museum?!?! ME TOO ME TOO!!!!! I wanna go!!!

Kiwi Crocus: Julie Andrews || Cigar smugness.cranky__crocus on May 30th, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
It was great fun, especially since my friend and future housemate works there! At some point I'll stay over night for the night-tour (more about the trial and haunting)--at the location itself! Crazy.