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20 January 2012 @ 10:29 am
The cover letter has defeated me.

Actually, that's a lie; I mustn't tell those. Honey mustard chicken sausages defeated me. They worked to weaken me, destroy me from the inside, make me spend much of the evening in terrible pain and being ill...but I made it to the other side!

And I finished filling out the application I had been writhing too much to finish previously! And I finished updating my resume and sent it to zofbadfaith, who said it was good and not just because she's my friend! And I re-researched cover letters and created the layout and made an outline of what I have to include...

But then I have stopped. Because it's 10am and there's no sane way to write this cover letter to the best of my ability, print it out (possibly elsewhere if we're still out of ink), get my sick-all-last-night self all ready, and show my face at my old high school to hand it all in. I also read the last cover letter I wrote and was not at all impressed (though I thankfully got the job); I don't want this one to make me wrinkle up my nose the way the one from two years ago did.

So despite my deadline for today, I am putting the cover letter to the side and it shall be a weekend chore. I also have a carton of Ben & Jerry's to act as my better-than-a-carrot-for-I'm-no-rabbit incentive.

Cover letter: 1; Kiwi: 0

For the record, I didn't cook the sausages, a friend did. And until that point (some early-am after lovely snow) it was a great evening. I also didn't cry through any of the evening (which surprises me more with the job application process than with the physical pain), so that's a plus!

I shall defeat this cover letter yet. In time. I shall sneak up on it the way the sausages did on me.
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Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Keyboard.cranky__crocus on January 26th, 2012 01:19 am (UTC)
I did as you suggested. (: Wrote a draft Saturday and left it until Sunday to edit. Even went beyond that and gave it to my parents to read through. It destroyed me a touch in the process (I hate having my writing read, especially when one is reading it primarily to spot errors/change it), but I know it was a lot better by the time I finally gave it in. I am now less surprised by how difficult it has been for me to get into this 'beta' thing!

(It's really a surprise that I'm not the sort of writer who writes simply for herself, and then hides the lot of it under a rock somewhere in the forest so no one else may read it... I shall have to take great care in never bringing hand-written, only-draft copies of works into large wooded areas with glacial fragments.)
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Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Mug.cranky__crocus on February 15th, 2012 07:15 am (UTC)
Thank you for that new perspective. (: I do try to think of it that way (a separation of self and work), but sometimes insecurities just seem block out logic, it seems. And I'm afraid self-esteem (being able to truly grasp the idea that people already like me for who I am, and that who I am is enough) is even meaner than that. So while in this sane, pretty-confident moment, I can be very, "Yay proofreading, everyone should read my writing with a red pen right now! :D" that may not--and alas, probably will not--be the case around the next bend.

But I'm working on it, and I think that I'm getting to the point that the 'pro-beta feelings' times are beginning to outweigh the 'anti-beta feelings' times. Although next year will have to be the test of that, unfortunately, since this year I'm not writing much. :X

Thanks again for the comment! I'll lodge it into this little noggin of mine. (And also, I seem to survive on run-on sentences; I'm just keeping them fit, you know, running on and on...)
CaroRulescarorules on January 20th, 2012 06:59 pm (UTC)
Job applications are painful. My girl is going through that.. again.. and it sucks.

Chevy Eliot: BSG - Roslin (B&W)tattooedsappho on January 21st, 2012 12:24 am (UTC)
Roslin says "you can dooo eeeetttt!"

you're just letting the cover letter get a comfortable lead so you can ambush it while it's being all lazy and pwn the crap out of it. :)
Kiwi Crocus: Kiwi || ;Dcranky__crocus on January 26th, 2012 01:20 am (UTC)
My whole family tag-teamed the darn thing. It had nowhere to go.