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16 November 2011 @ 06:00 am
10th of November

Cassia and Kara picked me up later than we intended. Mum gave me the last bite of her meal (that’s real love there) and some t-shirt money ‘cause she knew how excited I was for the concert. Cassia, Kara and I chatted about life and love on the way to Boston and, despite fearing we would be late, we made it just in time and found our standing area. It was a lovely place.

Also, for some NaNoWriMo and life stardust: in 2010, I watched Amanda Palmer/the Dresden Dolls play a concert there on 2nd November (they had it on livestream) and I took notes to put it into my NaNoWriMo novel (which was incredibly weird and written just to keep me sane; in it I had sex with a charismatic humanoid alien—Marsian or Venusian, I can’t recall). I recognised the place as I walked in…and the reason Cassia had found out about it was because she and some friends had been at that very Dresden Dolls concert the year before (which I knew; they were shocked that I was tweeting quotes from the concert and revealed they were there).

Melissa Ferrick was introduced as the opener and I nearly wet myself. Through the set I kept staring at her arms (aslkdjflasdf gorgeous). At one point she pulled up her sleeves and I was super into that. Kara stared at me and told Cassia, “God, look at Kiwi. She’s so turned on right now, biting her lip and everything. It’s creepy, but it turns me on watching her get turned on by Melissa!” Which may be a strange thing to hear but we’re all good friends so it doesn’t rock me. Also, I had never been interested in anyone around others before and a big life!fear of mine was that I didn’t express my interest well or that it couldn’t be obvious (as a minority, sometimes it needs to be pretty obvious); now that fear is much diminished.

Kara and I went out to meet Melissa Ferrick. We walked up and introduced ourselves. (“Hi, I’m Kiwi.” “Oh! I just played ‘kiwi’ in Scrabble today!” much laughter.) I hear “Kiwi?” from the crowd and turn to see one of my good friends from high school, Mac, who was in Gay Straight Alliance with me and someone I haven’t seen in five years. So I yell “I love you!” and glomp her. Melissa and Kara called, “Kiwi, picture time, Kiwi!” and that was when the picture happened. I quickly thanked Melissa and hopped off to exchange numbers with Mac. I was a little embarrassed. When she asked what I’d been up to I said, “Oh, graduating high school, graduating college, blowing off a celebrity…I guess I’ve reached that point in my life!”

Kara and I made it inside just as Ani came on. I don’t have anything specific to say, really, except that it was wonderful to see another short-statured woman on stage being so undeniably powerful. She hopped around on stage with that guitar like crazy. Eventually she took her hoodie off and I got to see arms there, too. (; She read a poem about a fan that had stalked her into her house; she’d written the poem as a tool for healing. Anyway, she was incredible.

Her encore was with Melissa Ferrick. First they played “Untouchable Face” so I rubbed Kara and Cassia’s backs some—together we recently formed the BLTs or Being Lesbians Tragically (also LBTs – Lesbians Being Tragic). It was great. Then they played “32 Flavors” (another favourite of mine) and I whispered to Cassia, “I’m going to snuggle now,” so I snuggled up against her and wrapped around Kara until she was snuggled up too. We swayed along with the music and sang and, okay yes, I cried a little. It was just one of those moments of, “Yes, this is why I am back in America.”

We stuck around after the show as Kara deliberated over which t-shirt she wanted. First I caught up with Mac again, off to the side. Later I settled on the t-shirt Kara wasn’t taking (which I love because it has lyrics from “Evolve”, another favourite: I don’t take good pictures ‘cause I have the kind of beauty that moves with some pictures of cameras), a forest green bumper sticker with “Ani” and a cool tree (probably for my guitar) and a little blue “ani difranco” sticker (probably for my ukulele). We were told that Ani doesn’t come out after shoes—she uses the time to write—and we weren’t surprised. The merch girl told another worker that she had just received a text that Ani was in the shower. An idea formed in my mind. I asked her, “Hey, do you have a signature? And do you like it?” She seemed surprised (understandably) and said, “Yeah. You can’t always read it—” and we said together, “but isn’t that the point of signatures?” So I asked her if she would sign my ukulele, because it wasn’t just about who signed it, but the memories behind it. I gave her my purple Sharpie and she signed my ukulele all cute, with some doodled music notes. Cassia and Kara were giggling at me.

We left. I said, “Well, we didn’t meet Ani. But when she was in the shower I got her merch girl’s signature!” I suggested that we send her a joint fan-letter, because that would be fun. I made a few calls on the way home to sort out the evening and next day (a friend from church had been texting with me during the concert asking if I’d pick his partner up at the airport the next day) and then I stayed over at Cassia’s, in my future home. I fell asleep on their bed at one point and Zephyr snuggled up against me until we were both almost asleep. It was so nice to have an evening of physical contact again. I never realise how much I’ve missed it until it’s back in my life. It’s pleasant platonically sleeping with someone, even if just for a nap.

11th of November

Woke up and headed to Patriot’s Place with Zephyr and Cassia. Hung out with Zephyr near his work place and then headed over to Dunkin Donuts for a mint hot chocolate (alsdkjfasdf mmmmm nummy nummy) and a breakfast sandwich as I waited for my Da. Read a book on Rachel Carson. I always feel at once comfortable, connected and as if I’m not doing enough with my life when I read of her.

Da came to DD, we had some nice bonding chat time and we went back home. In the evening I drove to Sonja and Karen’s (a couple from church) for dinner and some films. They had ridiculous amounts of Chinese food! Unfortunately I got some pretty terrible cramps as I sat down with my plate, so for the first round I had to sit with one of their heating pads and try not to wince too much. Thankfully they both very much understood. (: Then we watched the last Harry Potter film, ate some more (I was able to join in) and watched Bound, which made me laugh as I hadn’t watched it since I was 15 or 16. Drove home.

12th of November didn’t seem to amount to much, or at least nothing that sticks in my brain.

13th of November

Woke up and went in to church. It was a painful hip day so I sat down much of the time, but a woman I knew from congregation sat next to me so we shared my hymn book for one of the hymns and laughed when we couldn’t follow it. I headed out with the children and youth to listen to Nancielee give a lesson on Native American spirituality out in the woods. It was pretty interesting and we also got chocolate chip cookies.

After service Priscilla, Duncan, Nancielee and I left to go to lunch at the 99. Priscilla came with me and thought I had ‘blown through a stop sign’, which spooked me, but I went back to check later (I drive that route all the time) and realised it was for the crossing traffic, not for the merging traffic (which I had been). I enjoyed lunch with them, listening to their views and experiences with science and spirituality.

At home I felt sore and tired. Mum and Faja made up my brother’s bed as it would be softer on my hip. I took a three hour nap and have been sleeping in that bed since.

14th of November

I altered my LJ layout as I am now officially too lazy to get new ones, just change the one I already have. (cranky__crocus to see it.) I also fixed and changed around my profile page; I like it a lot more now. Worked on that icon scavenger hunt for femslash_land. I wrote 2,500 words, looked at videos and terrorised my pug.


Lazy day. Haven’t left the house. Have been writing, going through my email, watching The Secret Circle, chatting and bonding with my family. Mum made chicken korma and it was nummy. Drove Faja to the airport from 4.20-5.40am. Made it to 23,000 words – so off by 2k, but not too bad altogether. Going to go zonk out now.
Current Mood: groggyGroggy.