Kiwi Crocus (cranky__crocus) wrote,
Kiwi Crocus
cranky__crocus

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I am missing England dreadfully. It didn't hit me until I started looking up pubs/evening places to go, couldn't find any, asked my father (who would know what I wanted upon asking after a 'pub-like-place') to no avail ("haven't found any in the area") and came back to my room. Then I just crumbled.

I miss English pubs--there were so many kinds, so many places I could just walk to in the evening! Just walk up to the bar, order myself a drink and then bugger off once I had it; they didn't care where I sat or how long I stayed, provided I left at closing without issue. There were real places to sit that weren't bar-stools and I could read/write notes without being too bothered, while still enjoying the atmosphere. And once I'd been around enough, servers got to know me by look and name (it does help, a touch, that my look is rather unique and my name is hard to forget).

The main place I went wasn't even called a pub, it was "Global Cafe and Bar", but it had the same feel. It was wonderful.

And now I'm here. When I research "pub" here it hardly means anything more than restaurant-with-a-bar, where one goes in and sits at a barstool all night with drinks or sits down, orders food and drink, consumes them and then is expected to leave. Where one socialises with those one has arrived with--and where if one comes alone, it is strange. But bars don't work either, for the ones I've seen are not 'atmospheric' in the way I'd like and don't seem set to seat comfortably. "Tavern" seemed like just another restaurant.

When I ask my friends, "Want to go check out a pub with me?" I get very non-committal answers, with a feeling of 'why do that?' I guess I shouldn't expect anything else; I haven't before now, not in America, but then I haven't been in America in October--the end of October!--in three years. I've been in a place where I'll have a housemate yelling up the stairs for me, "Kiwi, coming to the pub?!" or a text from a friend, "Headed to the pub--come meet me!" or someone entering my room only to drag me out of it--homework and all--to head straight to the pub.

But I guess this is living in Suburban America. I'm not in Reading any more--not in an offshoot of London. I'd just forgotten.

I haven't got a local pub. My friends--the few I even have around here--don't go to pubs. Don't go anywhere in the evenings save out to eat, to each other's houses or clubbing.

I guess I'll just stay in my room, turn the faerie lights on and note-take on my reading in here. I'll imagine the friendly chatter and the laughter and the pub music.

*Bites lip.* I miss England. I'm lonely, and I can't find anywhere to go be alone amongst strangers--which always helped that.
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