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17 June 2011 @ 05:47 pm
I...I...I, um.

I have to be careful with this entry because if I don't handle it right I'll have another laughing-crying fit in the middle of the library.

I was just outside laughing-crying-singing in the rain because I needed the solitude (public places can be solitary, with no friends in sight) to handle this.

We got results today. I didn't get my full classification because my tuiton was late (I really don't mind, and I'll get into that when I'm not supposed to be scanning forms for Rowe) but we also got our dissertations back. I won't be telling most of my friends how I did but this is my livejournal and I need to feel like I'm screaming it somewhere.

Okay. No crying, Kiwi.

I got an 80 - essentially an A+. As Louise (a lecturer I'm fond of) said, "We don't just give those out." Claire also got an 80 (we have very similar dissertations; we were practically partners).

The two of us and Dave were the three top dissertations in the department - all of Biological Sciences, apparently. He got a 90...so Claire and I are jointly second. I can't even...I can't grasp anything right now. And I'm close to crying again so I'll stop now.

There will be a different entry later (either tonight or tomorrow or Sunday) I'm sure, but there we go. I am a flailing mess inside.

My first thought was I am not a fuck-up! And for this fleeting second, I had this feeling that I have never had before, this feeling that... Well, I was having a self-esteem issue for a while there, as most of you know; many of my days have been spent (successfully) trying to feel like I'm Just As Good As Everyone Else. This fleeting-second feeling, I blush to even mention, was that I might be...might be a little bit special, in some capacity, at least in the capacity that everyone is a little special for some things and today honoured my Some Thing for which I am special. It was just a second, but for the newness of it, it could have been a week or more. I think I'll fine even if I never feel it again for it was just that beautiful that the small quantity only made it more so.

Now I need to go write an email to a friend and scan some forms!

Edited to Add: I'm sorry that this comes off braggy!


Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.
[Rachel Carson]
Current Mood: shockedShocked.
Mollyzapthatmonster on June 17th, 2011 04:50 pm (UTC)
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Drinks.cranky__crocus on June 17th, 2011 04:55 pm (UTC)
Nolly nolly nolly.

I'm sorry that I missed your astronaunt (birth) day. It was honoured anyway.

My friend Jojobird (who came to visit me in America) said, "It's Molly [N]'s birthday."

I inquired, "You're friends with Molly [N]?"

"No. It's in Cassia's status update."

I grinned and said, "Happy birthday, Molly [N]."

At that point my dissertation partner-like-person laughed and commented, "Molly [N] has a cool name."

I explained that Chuck Norris has only one fear, and it's you.

So your birthday was definitely honoured. Sorry that your knowledge of that has been delayed! ♥ Thank you for your comment!
(no subject) - zapthatmonster on June 17th, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cranky__crocus on June 17th, 2011 05:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Miss M.: orgasmmiss_morland on June 17th, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC)
Congrats! <3
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Handprint on my heart.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Your icon cracked me up, too. C:
"Q" is for "quor": kyaa!q_sama on June 17th, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC)
Kyaaaa!! XD I'm so glad that the universe has faith in you, even when you don't. You're more than a little bit special!
Kiwi Crocus: Kiwi || Real Kiwi heart.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:22 pm (UTC)
D'awr at anime icon and use of 'kyaaaa'! :D

I'm so glad that the universe has faith in you, even when you don't.
Me too! I'm so relieved!

You're more than a little bit special!
*Blushes.* Thank you! ♥
ubiquitousmixie: 30 rock - dorkubiquitousmixie on June 17th, 2011 05:02 pm (UTC)

I'm so proud of you, kiwi fruit!!!!!

*massive hugs*
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Mug.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:23 pm (UTC)
Eeeeei, thank you darling lovely! ♥ *Massive hugs back.* Good luck with your thesis revision!
kellychambliss: A+++kellychambliss on June 17th, 2011 05:10 pm (UTC)
gerristgerrist on June 17th, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC)
Oh Yeah!! That's perfect. Exactly how I feel for Kiwi too!
(no subject) - cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Seekcoldthermistor on June 17th, 2011 05:32 pm (UTC)
CONGRATS! :D I am so happy for you!
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Create your rainbow.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you thank you! ♥ I'm happy too!
Feather Quill: Unconditionallovefeatherxquill on June 17th, 2011 05:40 pm (UTC)
Congratulations, hon. You worked your arse off for that mark, and you deserve it. ♥
Kiwi Crocus: HP || Hermione || Reading.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ♥ I did work rather hard on it, I suppose! Thanks again!
lash_larue: tinykittylash_larue on June 17th, 2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
tinykitty says -

No brag, just fact. I've been telling you for years you're pretty special, but would you listen?

Now go have fun at Diacon and try not to kill them with your brain, okay?

Kiwi Crocus: Cat || Yes?cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:30 pm (UTC)
Re: tinykitty says -
Ten up, without a doubt!

I've been telling you for years you're pretty special, but would you listen?
Hah! I do get a spot stubborn about it, I guess. :Þ I will have a ball at DiaCon! There's no risk of my killing anyone with my brain, I promise. :B

Thank you! ♥
CaroRulescarorules on June 17th, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC)
WOW A+ is wicked cooool!
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Roses.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you thank you! ♥
Hopelessly Prosaicncp on June 17th, 2011 06:12 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry that this comes off braggy!

It's not braggy if it's true! Then it's just stating the plain bald fact that you are freaking awesome! CONGRATULATIONS!
Kiwi Crocus: Nature || Awkward giraffe.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:33 pm (UTC)
D'awwr! *Hides face.* But thank you thank you, it means the world to me!
101mutts: Elphaba101mutts on June 17th, 2011 06:13 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's amazing!!! You definitely deserve the congratulations and the mark considering how hard you worked.

It seems nice that Clare tied with you since you got to this moment together.

Woop! Woop! Kiwi is special. (if only for a second that lasted a week). Smiles.
Kiwi Crocus: Women || Flowers in her hair.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Unfortunately it turns out we didn't tie - she had looked at the wrong mark (our supervisor progress mark). She actually got an 85. I'm super pleased for her, of course, but it was nicer when we had the same mark and my brain couldn't make it a competition at all.

Thanks anyway! (:
Vee: witchvenomebat on June 17th, 2011 06:17 pm (UTC)
I'm so happy for you Kiwi! You ARE special and AMAZING and congratu-fucking-lations on being AMAZING! You kicked ass and took names! GO YOU!

In short: yay!

Now go celebrate!
Kiwi Crocus: Lips || Green shout.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you thank you! ♥ Heh, didn't take any names, but I've done a bit of bum-tapping. :Þ

Yay yay! I think my best celebration to relax. :D
Mitheirien: weighty brassgrey_gazania on June 17th, 2011 06:31 pm (UTC)
GO KIWI! Congratultions! :D
Kiwi Crocus: Green || It's a gem.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:37 pm (UTC)
Yay yay thank you! ♥
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocus: Women || Cat and plait.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much! ♥
therealsnape: SS From Dungeons With Lovetherealsnape on June 17th, 2011 06:52 pm (UTC)
Congratulations! Fabulous news!
You're the best, and now it's official. Not that we all didn't know already.

Kiwi Crocus: Ani D || Embrace the world.cranky__crocus on June 18th, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Certainly not best - that seems as though it comes with far too much responsibility! *Smiles.* It does feel nice to have received a higher mark than I expected. Thank you for the congratulations!