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26 May 2011 @ 11:04 am
I'm ill.

I've been battling through my five stages of illness!grief.

Denial: This is my longest state. I excel at it, really. It isn't even "no, I feel fine"; there is no acknowledgement whatsoever that I could be ill. Surprising symptoms will get by without notice. I hold tightly to this stage. Once it is finally ripped from me, however, I tend to get through the others relatively quickly.

Anger: "Oh for frak's sake! Body, you win another Inconvenient Timing award. I just booked my ticket for a weekend of travel. Auuuugh."

Bargaining: "Can't you just go away for a week, please? I'll have sent my brother off Stateside and will be into my month of June, doing nothing. I can afford to be sick then. Please?"

Depression: "*Sigh.* Nope, I'm stuck with it. I'm ill. There's hardly a point in leaving bed, is there? Except that I can't seem to sleep a wink. All my events are going to be terrible and I'm going to ruin everyone's good time. Rain cloud over my head, do you have any silver lining?"

Acceptance: "Well, I suppose if I'm actually ill with some sore throat lurgy, it is the perfect excuse to eat soup and ice cream. Might as well leave bed since I'm not sleeping. Oh, it's before noon! Means I certainly haven't got enough sleep, but I can try napping later...and now I have more time! Tissues, where are you...?"

This morning I heard Roberts coughing; I believe I have just heard him sneeze twice. I asked him (through my door), "Roberts, are you ill?" "No, I have an exam this afternoon." "And you aren't ill?" "No, I'm fine. ...are you?" I think he may be in the first stage, somehow...

It was also doomed to happen. I was in a house with an afflicted man and between the six boys with whom I share a house, there isn't much hygiene to go around (beyond personal showering, and sometimes not even that). I'll take great care with my own hygiene during my travels.

While in my own room, I'm just going to be a bit of a slob - counter-productive, since I was meant to be cleaning my room. Ah well!

Now I'm going to go nurse myself with a bowl of soup and enjoy a little escapism! I'm thinking Mädchen in Uniform. (: (Thanks tetleythesecond!)


They say goldfish have no memory; I guess their lives are much like mine and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time. And it's hard to say if they're happy but they don't seem much to mind.
[Ani DiFranco; Little Plastic Castle]
Current Mood: sickSick.
Nickiperoxidepirate on May 26th, 2011 10:48 am (UTC)
D'aw, so sorry you're sick. Feel better!

Also, your story about Roberts cracked me up. "No, I have an exam this afternoon."
Kiwi Crocus: Readwrite || Maggie reads fanfic.cranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 11:03 am (UTC)
Thank you! I feel better with soup, hot drinks and amazing historical films. (:

Yes, good ol' student will-power. "Willnotgetsickwillnotgetsick, procrastinated too much to get sick, must get through exams..." It's his last, with just a presentation tomorrow, and then he's done.

If you find you have a few minutes at a time to spare, the film is well worth a watch! (I'm only on part four.) Watching films on YouTube is nice, too, because you're guaranteed a pause every ten-or-so minutes. I keep trying to get myself to write before opening the next part; I haven't yet today since I've been eating and trying to feel better. I'm sure I'll start up again in a bit. (:
albalark: Heart framed sunalbalark on May 26th, 2011 11:23 am (UTC)
Oh, I am so sorry to hear that you are sick! Feel better soon . . . hot drinks and staying in bed with a movie sounds like the perfect medicine. :-)
Kiwi Crocus: Emotion || Hand of hearts.cranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 11:24 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm sorry to hear (or acknowledge) it as well, but I must say I'm not surprised. I'm just glad I didn't get pneumonia after exams; that's what happened to my good friend last year, when she had finished her third-year exams. Could definitely be worse!

And yes, of course, on Lark's orders! *Smiles.*

(Love your icon.)
lash_larue: Bluetlash_larue on May 26th, 2011 12:17 pm (UTC)
So sorry, silver lining... well, at least exams are done...

Still sucks though, feel better soon,
Kiwi Crocus: Lesbians || SC || Guess who.cranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 12:22 pm (UTC)
If being forced by my body into ice cream, soup, jammies, bed-rest and lesbian media isn't silver lining, I don't know what is. (:

Thanks! I'll try with all my might to feel better soon. :D
gerristgerrist on May 26th, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC)
The power of a day
At least you have today without much planned. One can often get on the flip side of the lurgy with one good day of rest. Let's hope that is the case this time : ).

I might suggest you switch to a non milk type of sweet treat, like italian ice or french sorbet. Milk products often seem to prolong a cold and staying on clear fluids seems to flush them quite well. LOTS OF WATER!! Vitamins if you have them (you left the jar I gave you for Christmas here). XO Mom
Kiwi Crocus: Zoë Lewis || Tea time!cranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 01:38 pm (UTC)
Re: The power of a day
I was supposed to be cleaning my room. *Eyes room wearily.* I've got my laundry all sorted into pile but haven't the energy (or pain-free joints/muscles) to put them all away properly. Though I suppose I can sort through the paperwork. Looks like when I bring Dweeb back it'll just be a case of my stuffing random things into a bag for him to take home! Haven't got it in me to do much real organisation.

I did notice that I left the vitamins at home, which saddened me. I'm drinking tea (no milk - haven't got any) and water. I finished the ice cream last night and don't feel like going out to get anything else. I think I'll try the honey-and-hot-water (haven't got lemon juice) concoction a housemate suggested.

But it's peaceful, at least, sitting here and listening to the English whether attempting to decide whether it wishes to be sunny or rainy. (Thus far no firm decision and much flip-flipping - typical. (; )
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Kiwi Crocus: HP || McMin || Smiles.cranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 01:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the well wishes!

I am enjoying it immensely. I'm watching it in parts (with breaks), as I did with The Bostonians, rather than running right through it as I do other films. It was a unique experience to watch half of The Bostonians and wake up the next morning to find I had more thoughts on it. Though given I'm ill with little else to do, I doubt I will do the same for this film. It's fantastic!

I'm watching the play (in the film), now. I have a crush. I'm sure that's simply shocking.
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Kiwi Crocus: Downton Abbey || Cora || Amused.cranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
I shall give you one guess. How do you cast it? (;
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Kiwi Crocus: Julie Andrews || Cigar smugness.cranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
You're correct on a number of counts. Especially since you mention Ilse and I find I did, actually, end up with a bit of a squish on her as well. ('Squish' seems to be about as far as I go with people my age or younger.)

If Erika Mann/Atems was the drama teacher, then I will say I quite liked her. I think I could appreciate her more upon a revisit to the film. It's difficult for me to read subtitles, pick up on all the names and watch all the supporting characters at once. Especially when I'm ill. (:

Yes, the wonderful Dorothea Wieck as Fräulein von Bernburg - ding ding ding! I found I couldn't look away from her face. I love that her features could be stern or compassionate or even adorable, depending on the atmosphere she created around her. It seemed softer, to me, than a lot of the faces casters use to create a stern character. (I'm now used to picturing incredibly prominent cheekbones with a stern expression, but found that I loved Wieck's soft sterness, without cheekbones that could cut.)

I'm sure at this point I'm no longer making sense (I'm sort of wobbling about my chair a bit at the moment and I swear my head is floating away), but those are some rambles on Dorothea's face. And she cut a lovely figure.

I'm onto Vier Minuten now. It seems it's dangerous for you to post entries with trailers and links. But it came at a good time, I think - having films to watch while ill is very good indeed!
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Kiwi Crocus: Lesbians || Boots.cranky__crocus on June 6th, 2011 07:11 am (UTC)
Antinazi cabaret? My kind of woman. (Well, I don't really have a kind of woman, and any kind of woman I would consider up my alley would not allow me to consider her 'mine'; but you get the picture I'm sure.)

Ahhahhah, that trivia is great! You should make some historical-lesbian board game, like a better version of Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit! I'd learn wondrous things then!
CaroRulescarorules on May 26th, 2011 02:14 pm (UTC)
Fell better soon!
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on May 26th, 2011 02:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'll certainly try. (:
Meganluna_shovegood on May 26th, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)
I hope you feel better soon!

Eww. Eww. Germs.
Kiwi Crocus: Text || You'll be okay.cranky__crocus on June 6th, 2011 07:08 am (UTC)
Heh, after getting most of my education in science...I've given up on things not being germy. Germs just win at the game of life.
Meganluna_shovegood on June 6th, 2011 10:44 am (UTC)
I know that. And yet I still hate illness-germs. My brain does not want to follow logic. :D

Maybe I'll catch up with reason one of these days.
Miss M.miss_morland on May 26th, 2011 04:52 pm (UTC)
Poor you! Hope you'll get better soon.
Meganmirellarussian on May 27th, 2011 01:29 am (UTC)
Oh, no. :( I hope you're not missing out on anything too important, and I hope you feel better soon. Eat lots of ice cream and laze about plenty for me! <3
Kiwi Crocus: Women || Flowers in her hair.cranky__crocus on June 6th, 2011 07:08 am (UTC)
Thank you! Didn't do enough lazing about then and won't for the next two days, probably, but I'll get back to lazing about real soon just for you and me! (: