Log in

No account? Create an account
19 May 2011 @ 05:47 pm

Tomorrow is my last exam. I was having enough difficulty revising for it already, because it's my last and because I don't respect the module. Today made it worse - checked grades in Harborne.

1) We call it a "Wiki Drop" - the lecturer has loads of screen-shots directly from Wiki. Thank you, but we could have taught ourselves that as soon as we saw the module title.

2) No organisation.

3) Out-of-date extra reading only tenuously relevant to the subjects.

4) A test on "data analysis" skills? In final year? A "test you can't revise for"?

5) Posting our grades publicly with our names? With just a letter grade?

RAGE. Once upon a time, I had a chemistry and physics teacher who posted marks at the back of the room. She at least used student numbers. Yes, some people were able to figure out student numbers eventually, but some effort had to go into it.

Public posting of grades with names? Just up on a board in the plant building? At least most teachers use Blackboard nowadays - but no, nothing on Blackboard and the presentation forms/papers were not in the office, despite that they've clearly been marked. And posting letter grades (+ and - aren't really used here) with no numbers? So, with an A a person could have between a 70 and a 79... We normally use those to calculate how well we have to do on the exams to get a pass/B/A.

And a C. I got my first ever C during a term-time activity (non-exam). Last semester of my university experience. I love how when I finally think 'oh, I did alright on that!' I get marks back to tell me I haven't, try again next time. And, since all the names were up with the grades, I saw how other people did on the same test before I could look away. And they'll see how I did. (I know that's a little self-centred, but, honestly, I know people look at my mark. People have often asked me what I got as a gauge to know how well they did - like I'm a grade scale. I know my coursemates will look.)

No respect for this module. Mammalian Reproduction and Environmental Management were painful because I respected the teachers and modules immensely and knew I didn't fully grasp the material (or for MR, no real grasp at all). This...just...grr. Does not make me want to do well at all. Pushing myself to revise my notes is going to be a pain. Thank goodness it's over tomorrow at 11.10am at the latest - then I don't have to think about it again until results, and I can just make sure I remember how much I hated this stupid module!

RAGE. The end. [/cranky__crocus]

Eyes to see
"The one person who really knows me best says I'm like a cat - the kind of cat that you just can't pick up and throw into your lap. No, the kind that doesn't mind being held, only when it's her idea; the kind that feels what she decides to feel when she is good and ready to feel it."
[Ani DiFranco; Virtue]
Current Mood: pissed offFucking pissed off.
redbeargrlredbeargrl on May 19th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC)
Tomorrow is my last exam.
The operative word here is is "LAST" Sweetie.
One more day of torment and you're DONE. Then you can get on with your life without tests and gradesand school bullshit. Believe me, nobody ever asked me about my grades one I had my degree(s), and sure as hell none of your friends are going to use such an artificial thing to determine your worth as a friend. And you have Rowe waiting!
Do the best you can and I'll wager that is good enough!
Kiwi Crocus: Women || Swimming.cranky__crocus on June 6th, 2011 08:20 am (UTC)
Thank you for this message! It helped to hear it. ♥
CaroRulescarorules on May 19th, 2011 05:29 pm (UTC)
I'd be pissed too, what a bunch of crap!
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocus: Ani D || Stare there.cranky__crocus on May 19th, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
Ahh, I wish I could be more like you and less like me. I feel as though once-upon-a-time I was; I'm not sure where that went. I think it's the feeling of defeat and despair that comes with exams tempering with my brain and sense of self and my ability to align with any sort of inner integrity.

I've never experienced public grade posting and, from the reaction of my friends, I'm not sure they have either. We usually get a number representation of ourselves and sometimes that's used to post grades.

You're not a complete dunderhead. [ETA: I mean to say you're not a dunderhead at all; I am the dunderhead here!] I'm not used to practical activities being tests, which impact grades - usually they've been labs that we then write a report on, or something of that sort. And for a lot of things I like that I could practice even if not revise. (I did that a lot - practice - in high school, when we were marked on hands-on activities that one couldn't really revise for.) But when we asked what this test would be like, the teacher only said we "couldn't revise" and wouldn't give us anymore. It made me incredibly nervous.

Plus, as a grade hound, they've never gone well with me. You know that scene in the first film, when Hermione admits that she has book smarts but Ron and Harry have the more applicable skills? That's how the non-revision tests make me feel. I end up feeling stupid and thinking that the attributes I have to offer really aren't that useful at all. They make me feel like a lesser person, not able to achieve where it actually counts - in the application.

Final spurt! (: Can't wait to pass out in my bed tomorrow and then open up a book. Hopefully my headache will be gone by then!

Edited at 2011-05-19 05:52 pm (UTC)
lash_laruelash_larue on May 19th, 2011 06:04 pm (UTC)

It's hard to get up for a test in a class you don't really care about, I remember that much. Doesn't sound like the instructor gives a rat's either.

Have fun with the course evaluation.
albalark: Asskick bootsalbalark on May 19th, 2011 06:41 pm (UTC)
Try not to let instructor!fail get you so upset. You are almost done!!!! Sure, you have a right to be angry and to be unhappy about the way the ending was conducted, and to be disappointed in your grade. But the thing to keep in perspective is that *you passed*. No one is going to care about that grade later, when you have your degree in hand. They'll look at the overall picture of your college experience to draw their conclusions. So, as hard as it may be, let it go until you are over your exams. So go rock that last exam as sweet revenge.

Kiwi Crocus: Women || Flowers in her hair.cranky__crocus on June 6th, 2011 08:22 am (UTC)
Awwr, thank you for this; I appreciated it as soon as I got it. Also, your icon is fantastic. ♥
therealsnapetherealsnape on May 19th, 2011 06:49 pm (UTC)
At least you're nearly done now. And don't get too upset about posted grades. They always were in my student days, and we would just look at ourselves mostly, and at our best friends to offer appropriate comment when we saw them. And glance at others, and we'd comment a 'great job' to a brilliant one, or a 'too bad' to a dramatic fail.
But in the end, what interests people is their own grade.
101mutts: brown dog101mutts on May 20th, 2011 01:58 am (UTC)