[+] I survived Thursday. Went to 'lecture' with Jojobird and met Claire there; we ditched during break again because we were bored out of our minds. (Student presentations - we were told to go both weeks but it was clear the only people there were those presenting, and we presented last week.) At least before leaving I wrote out my extenuating circumstances form and gave it in; Lindsey-in-the-student-office thinks my requests sound reasonable. I cried giving in the form and in many ways I've never felt so pathetic. Jojo told me to "man up" (I think she was trying to use humour to kick me out of it), but I was unstable enough that that just made it worse. I'm trying not to be a ticking time bomb.
[+] Survived Friday. Jojobird, Emma (groupmate) and I arrived early and there were leftover biscuits from some even the day before, so we nibbled those. Emma and I doodled on the whiteboard. We practised a bit and then presented to Simon and Duncan (the lecturers). It wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't terrible; the middle-ground is fine to my university-apathetic brain right now. Jojo told me that to make sure I worked later on, I would have to think of her giving me a Disappointed Face; I asked her "can I imagine you as a teacher?" and she said of course...provided she was sexy. Oh, my mind. Worked efficiently, took an hour-long break, worked again until my 6pm deadline. Wasn't able to send along a full draft to Nick (and thus I feel like a mega failure) but it was a lot closer. I also managed to work on my dissertation for 6 hours without crying or having to stop and monitor my breathing! The small things, eh? After that took a break to start my Wildlife in the Faming Environment report and work on my Rowe application, which I'm sending off by tomorrow.
[-] Today I have felt yucky and nervous. It was a beautiful day that I didn't appreciate. However, I did take a shower with the new shower head and there's a mist setting that sounds like rain and makes me feel as though I'm receiving back rubs from a colony of faeries. Worked a lot but still am only 25% through my citations to analyse (20/80). But I'm getting faster at it so hopefully that's something. And I'll definitely have a lot more to talk about in my results and discussion sections than I already have, so that's good. I think I can really do this. Maybe. But hey, there's a little hope there.
[-] I mostly missed the Supermoon, but did finally stand up out of my window to see it. Wish I had been more able to enjoy it.
[-] I really miss cuddles. I'm reclining on my little sofa here (got the double duvet cover with gold stars) with my sharks (one big blue one, one giant pink one) and my pillows. I want nothing more than for someone to come and flop on me. Mum's done it my whole life, she just flops down on me and squishes me into whatever surface I'm on. I love it. Cassia does it when I'm at her house and it makes me smile, because I never told her I love it, she just started doing it.
[-] I miss animals. I wish there was a rent-a-dog service or something. Pirate's got the gerbils, but they're not quite the same... and all I do with the fish is make faces at them. I'd go for a ferret, cat, chinch, hell even a degu, just anything... So I'm going to sit here and continue petting my own head. Yes, I am that desperate. (And hey - it's nice to have my head pet, even if it's just by me!)
[-] I'm still in shock that I've finished my last presentation of university and my last piece of group work. I've also had my last official lecture. Next week I end on a pop quiz - how stupid! A pop quiz in English university! (Okay, not fully pop quiz since I know when it is, but I classify a pop quiz as not knowing the timing and/or not knowing what will be on it.) Apparently it's something we can't revise for. Super duper excited, clearly. Can't believe this will really be ending. I am going to MAKE myself give Nick a full draft of my dissertation on Tuesday evening, I have one 1500-word-or-so report due in on Friday, and then I've just got exams... and sure they're going to be killer exams, but it'll just be them left in my path. So weird.
[?] One of the femmeslash-land-or-whatever-porn-prompt-t
[*] I think I'm putting up a front right now, but I have to admit that I am incredibly frightened.
[♥] I think I am too exhausted for more work right now. I'll just set an alarm (away from my bed, and for a good amount of time) and go to sleep. I'll work faster tomorrow.
"The bluebird sings a lullaby; the firefly gives a light; the twinkling stars are candles bright; sleep, Faeries all, Good Night."
[Elizabeth T. Dillingham; "A Faery Song"]