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16 January 2011 @ 04:47 am
This may be one of the first times in a long while that I've travelled without leaving an "I'm travelling!" message.

I'm back in Reading now; I've been here since this morning. So. Yup. Here. Can't resist the inevitable anymore.

But, uh, I'm not doing so hot? Trying to hold it all together. Had some really nice moments; everything just feels heavy. Think I need to spend more time gazing out at the sky and Knowing and Feeling that it is a shared vast sky and space, and it will be my sky (with some changes) when I'm 25, and I will get to that place and time.

In the last few days I have: (i) seen an old friend I hadn't seen in far too long (hey Ori! ♥); (ii) picked up and (hopefully) got over a stomach bug, although that 'just over an illness' feeling hasn't left yet; (iii) said goodbye to one of my best friends in the world (and her cat) while in possession of a stomach bug, meaning going from 'peacefully napping' with her playing Pandemic to 'well acquainted with the porcelain throne' in less than a minute; (iv) had an ill-shaky pug; (v) packed while my mother dozed in my bed; (vi) slept in bed with my mother and pug on my last night Stateside for a long while; (vii) cried a lot and thought 'stone stone stone' to halt some crying over saying goodbye to everyone/place; (viii) gone to Barnes & Noble with my father to get a journal (which I love); (ix) made it through the airport and flying despite many things being uncomfortable/difficult; (x) oh right started my moon time the day of travel; (xi) felt ill and sick and sad and raw and stressed and stretched; (xii) not cared if this numbering was actually done right as it's 4.42am & I'm jetlagged trying to turn my brain off.

On the docket for tomorrow: (i) sleep until my body stops sleeping; (ii) unpack/set up/clean my room; (iii) maybe grab some groceries (but I should be fine for another few days); (iv) check Blackboard for all my courses and settle into being a better student; (v) write my Environmental Management essay (1250/3000 words done).

I realised today how much I miss sleeping with people, in the simplest and most innocent sense of the world. I love that in America. I wish I had more people to do it with here. It makes my worries seem smaller and more shared, somehow; I feel less alone; I feel safer and loved.


You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart.
Current Mood: sadSad.
kellychamblisskellychambliss on January 16th, 2011 05:05 am (UTC)
I'm glad you've arrived safely, my dear -- but sorry for the stomach woes :(

lash_laruelash_larue on January 16th, 2011 01:09 pm (UTC)
Echoing the glad you're there safely and sorry for the gut woes.

Nature's way of reminding you that you're alive.
albalarkalbalark on January 16th, 2011 02:49 pm (UTC)
Just got over that blasted stomach bug myself, so much sympathy!!! I'm glad you made it safe and sound. Sleep will put everything back into perspective. I hope that you are feeling well again soon!

CaroRulescarorules on January 16th, 2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
I know this is a tough time, but it will get better I promise.

I hope you feel better real soon.