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11 January 2011 @ 04:20 pm
A woman from my congregation who used to hug me and was the mother of someone I grew up with died unexpectedly in her sleep.

My brother just left to head back to Keele University.

My mother is going to go progressively down hill for a while.

I am a puddle. I am a muddy puddle with molecules that remember being part of this sparkling lake connected to a graceful, playful waterfall and a bubbling, giggling stream leading to a far-off estuary and the ocean; my molecules are wondering just how precipitation brought them here, to a ruddy muddy puddle.

I need to be working, cleaning, packing, saying goodbye for a while.

I am incapable.

My pug is barking. I'm going to miss the sound of four pug-paws galloping at full speed over the terribly difficult terrain of cornered stairs.

To say goodbye, I had us all use the Christmas crackers we didn't get to use before, all of us in a circle. It was a laugh. Before that, my brother's best friend said, "See you later, dude. When are you coming back? Do you know what day? Or, like, what month?" Their friendship just pauses like that. It's beautiful in its own way.

Muggzzey the Pug is going as crazy and frantic and fearful as I feel inside right now. It hurts my heart to hear his high-pitched 'my humans are leaving me' bark/whine. Poor pup.

I am terrified of the next 6 months of my life.


You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart.
Current Mood: worriedWorried.
tinafey30rocksmysocksstephany323 on January 11th, 2011 10:06 pm (UTC)
*hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs!!!!*

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend :( Unexpected things like that are always so hard.

I've been beginning to feel this same, leaving the beautiful comforts of being home to go back to a very stressful situation. I know it's definitely not to the same degree as you, but I've definitely had to tackle my own bouts of homesickness. I know personally it's the leaving and arriving that's the hardest!

Best of luck to you! I'll be sending warm fuzzies your way! XO
CaroRulescarorules on January 11th, 2011 10:08 pm (UTC)
It's never easy saying goodbye, but you've done it before and you'll do it again. You are stronger than you think. *hug*
albalark: Hobbes Hugalbalark on January 11th, 2011 10:23 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry about your friend, Kiwi. May she rest in peace.

Leaving your loved ones behind for any length of time is stressful, especially if you are worried for one of them. ::hugs:: I'm sure you'll do all right and you'll be back in that sparkling lake before you know it! :-)
music_is_breath: Elfemusic_is_breath on January 11th, 2011 10:28 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry to hear about your friend!

Sending many warm thoughts and *hugs* your way!
Nicki: no fearperoxidepirate on January 12th, 2011 02:20 am (UTC)

I'm sorry to hear about the bad stuff. Stay strong. The lake will return.
MinervaFanminerva_fan on January 12th, 2011 04:38 am (UTC)
Sending you love and good wishes. All is good. All is good.