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22 December 2010 @ 03:51 pm
 
Reasons to love my brother:

1) "I got you a gift." [Kiwi looks excited. Dweeb hands over a huge thing of Cadbury chocolate. Kiwi grabs it, hugs it and settles down onto the sofa, ignoring the teddy bear she's been clutching since Sunday.] "Thank you! Night night! [A few minutes later.] It's 64 squares!!"
2) "Do you like Heinz Big Soup?" "I do! I just never get any." "Alrighty. I bought two thinking I might eat both, but that if you liked them too, we could eat them together."
3) "I got these too." "ARE THOSE DIGESTIVES?" "Yup." [Insert tremendous joy.]
4) [Pulls tortilla chips from bag.] "And salsa." "CHIPS AND SALSA! I haven't had those in ages! Yaaaay!"
5) "And four bottles of Coke."

He also let me eat his last piece of pizza because the 'pepperoni oil has tampered with it' and I'm not picky.

Looks like the rebooking we have is for the 28th, but Mum is looking to see if she can find any other flight that would bring us to somewhere close in the States - Providence, New York, whatever. We'll see. I'm allowed to be a little angry about this, right? Even if I don't know the direction the anger points - even if it's just a floaty cloud that is mixed with sadness?

Pirate is gone which means that, yes, we're the only ones left in the house now...but I also don't have to worry about feeling constantly judged, which is actually pretty nice. Later today I will shower and make myself into a real person again, but it's nice to not feel judged for being mopey and in my jammies and in a primary relationship with chocolate and Coke.

I'M SORRY WORLD, THIS IS MY COPING MECHANISM OF BEING SEPARATED FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS BY AN OCEAN WHEN I SHOULD BE SNUGGLING MY PUG AND GETTING IN TIFFS WITH FAIRY LIGHTS. NO JUDGMENT, UNIVERSE - YOU CAME TO BEING WITH AN EXPLOSION AND HEY, THAT'S PRETTY ANGSTY, AND YOU'RE EXPANDING RIDICULOUSLY FAST WHICH COULD BE CONSIDERED PRETTY SELFISH IF THERE ARE OTHER UNIVERSES TRYING TO EXPLODE FROM NOTHING INTO SOMETHING, BUT I'M NOT JUDGING YOU EITHER.

Yup, so, my brain isn't working again. I also kind of want to write but don't know WHAT. Hmmm. Maybe I should go hit up my 'to write' memory section. After more Skins. :D

This just in: Mum found a flight for the 26th, so we're still here for Christmas, but at least it will be a prep-for-travel day and we'll know we're going home. This will be my first Christmas away from home. How incredibly bizarre. And yes, I'm trying to get rid of that feeling of incredible depression that my already-short-time-home became much shorter. AUGH. No no no, I am not letting myself go back to that mind frame. At least I know I'm heading home.

This really isn't fair. I hadn't acknowledged that before, but it feels better to, I guess. I'm all sorts of used to 'not fair' in the life department, but it's always been alright because of family and friends, and now that's what's being tampered with...so it's Not Fair on a whole new level, and it's okay for me to acknowledge that. And that this sucks. I always forget that I can recognise such things and still get through something just fine. It's not like all the medical stuff didn't suck, and I still got through that with strength...so here's to my first Christmas away from home: I'm going to try to empower myself now. CAPTAIN KIWI, COMMENCE!

Better to know than not know, right?

♥ Kiwi

You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart.
 
 
Current Mood: frustratedFrustrated.
 
 
 
lash_laruelash_larue on December 22nd, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
Permission granted to be pissed off.

Of course, from my perspective of age and wisdom, I know that this is one of those things that you will look back on in the years to come, and be...

Still pissed off.

Hey, it sucks. Why would I lie to you now?

Best on the flight home,
L
therealsnape: OMGWTFtherealsnape on December 22nd, 2010 04:10 pm (UTC)
It's truly awful for you, poor dear. And you've every right to be pissed off.

Be assured that at least one hoggywarty will be lined up on Christmas day, 1pm your time, and if you want company in between, mail!

Hugs.
redbeargrlredbeargrl on December 22nd, 2010 04:22 pm (UTC)
Big points for the Dweeb for the chocolate if nothing else. Sorry about not being home for Christmas day, but at least you'll be home soon!

Warmest Bear Huggles!
CaroRulescarorules on December 22nd, 2010 06:53 pm (UTC)
So sorry about all the trouble with the flights. I read an article about it in the newspaper today and I thought of you.

At least you're with your bro, better than nothing right? think of all the ppl spending x-mas alone.
gerristgerrist on December 23rd, 2010 02:14 pm (UTC)
I'm miserable too. CAPTAIN GERRI needs to commence as well. Gotta go to work now and all I want to do is curl up and cry too. Oh wait, am I supposed to the be the grown up and not say this stuff? Frrrff ... this sucks and feels crappy and it seems perfectly reasonable to say it.

Glad Dweeb is there with you and that you have some laughs and someone to go out with when you are ready. XO Mom