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08 December 2010 @ 06:56 pm
I am in that place and time, that hard place and time, wherein it is time to yield.

Not yield in any time of weakness:

I am yielding to the understanding that this situation is strong and hard, and that I have to get through it; I yield to its characteristics and yield to it as my path right now.

I am yielding to the knowledge that to face it, I must and will be strong and hard; I will meet the situation.

Today I have had flares of understanding that I can do this and do it in my own way, even if it surprises some people or disappoints others. In the end I will do this and it will be done in a way that fits me.

The flares are not permanent - as everything is impermanent, and adds to my appreciation of their momentary existence - but they seem to be growing longer. I will work and hope to have this continue.

Hello, Universe and University, I'm Kiwi! I won't tackle you with a hammer or sword, but I have artistic hands and a perspective no one else has; I hope I can use them with you. (:
therealsnape: Humbugtherealsnape on December 8th, 2010 07:00 pm (UTC)
As to the comment I left chez Lash, do put Uni first, will you?
Kiwi Crocus: Seasonal || Winter Mirror.cranky__crocus on December 8th, 2010 07:49 pm (UTC)
I really am incredibly sorry if I'm disappointing you. =( I promise that since yesterday I spent all day working on the presentation for today's meeting, tonight I get to spend a good amount of time writing as a treat. I will get you your story, I promise! I'm so terribly sorry for the delay. ='[
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocus: Quote || Going to Hogwarts.cranky__crocus on December 8th, 2010 10:34 pm (UTC)
TRS has fixed me. So has finishing a section of my story, even though I in the throes of Writer's Insecurity right now. (WAAAAH I CAN'T WRITE WHY IN THE NAME OF DANCING DUMBLEDORE DID I SIGN UP FOR THIIIIIS?)

Ack. That sounds terrible!

Although I think it may say something about my present state of mind and situation with uni work that I would consider that a serious improvement to my present life.
therealsnapetherealsnape on December 9th, 2010 07:11 pm (UTC)
I've already grovelled to Kiwi for being my Snapish me. And I know the two of you will deliver, at some point. And if you don't, it was for reasons beyond your power.

Also, if you're all sent to Chepstow woods, you're the lucky ones. 75% of writers is there, by current level of fic-received. You'll have oodles and oodles of fun company while I'll have to deal with disgruntled teachers, wailing but you promised us all sorts of lovely fic.

In fact, I may join you. Together we can keep the little next-gen blighters away. If you still want to play with me, that is ... (one cannot lisp engagingly in that line, but imagine the lisp.)
Pwease, dear cwanky_cwocus ...
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocus: HP || Hogwarts || Snowing.cranky__crocus on December 13th, 2010 05:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, yes, I would certainly bring my ukulele! :D Oh, a trip to Chepstow Woods together sounds much better than my current spread of work... *Daydreams.*
Kiwi Crocus: Seasonal || Light Dogs.cranky__crocus on December 13th, 2010 05:11 pm (UTC)
Of course, of course! A trip to Chepstow woods with my dear Real Snape friend sounds lovely. (: And the lisp was adorable. You are too much! *Grins.*
therealsnapetherealsnape on December 8th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
My dear, the comment at Lash's was only joking!
Don't take my Snapely self too seriously; you'd never be a disappointment! I know you'll manage a fic, and if RL really puts a spanner in the works, that doesn't matter either. Can happen, no problem. Don't be upset, there's no need, really.

*hangs head in shame *
Kiwi Crocus: Quote || Hug.cranky__crocus on December 8th, 2010 10:32 pm (UTC)
Oh no, please no head-hanging! My comment can only be taken to point out my own insecurity, in that something simple like a jest could lead me to "laskdjfl zaaaaah I ruined everything how can I make this better?! I faaaail!"

Please ignore the fact that I am going absolutely bat-guano crazy every which way. The end of my last-ever autumn term is really getting to me. I keep feeling as though I am letting down absolutely everyone, for I feel stretched too thin and useless to all! But writing the hoggywartyxmas story is helping, I promise -- so in the end you're helping too! (: And by being my friend, for that helps more than I can ever express.

Thank you! Apologies for the scare! No shame. *Hugs the shame away.*
therealsnapetherealsnape on December 9th, 2010 07:07 pm (UTC)
Anyone who can come up with "bat-guano crazy" is a terrific author, and I'm thrilled that you joined the hoggywarty crew.
Also, I love your icon.

Kiwi Crocus: Seasonal || Snowflake.cranky__crocus on December 13th, 2010 05:09 pm (UTC)
Now that my story is done and I'm no longer agonising, I am super excited for the hoggywarty party. (:

Thank you! I always adore your icons. :D
CaroRulescarorules on December 8th, 2010 07:48 pm (UTC)
You can do it!!!!
Kiwi Crocus: Seasonal || Festive Stars.cranky__crocus on December 8th, 2010 07:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I certainly am trying my best. (:
Veemanaismygoddess on December 8th, 2010 09:37 pm (UTC)
I like the way you think lady friend! Stand resolute and never apologize for your art! <3
Kiwi Crocus: Seasonal || Standing in Lights.cranky__crocus on December 8th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC)
Awwwr, thank you! ♥ You are sweet! Sometimes I like the way I think goo. (: And by 'goo' I mean 'too', but I am amused by the typo and so it stands!

I miss you, lovely lady friend! ♥
Veemanaismygoddess on December 8th, 2010 10:39 pm (UTC)
I miss you as well! I'm glad that if nothing else we still have LJ to converse on.
I feel like while you are a tremendous friend who I feel a deep connection with I'm afraid to get to know you more on a superficial level for fear that we won't be as close! How back-asswards for a social situation!
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || In My Hands.cranky__crocus on December 8th, 2010 10:46 pm (UTC)
I'm touched to know you feel a deep connection with me; I reciprocate those feelings and you are also a tremendous friend! I am so glad to have met you. (:

Hmm. It is pretty entertaining. Although many of my friends report that there is no 'superficial' way to know me, and indeed, I'm not suer I would know what a superficial level is in friendship! As in, what our favourite colour M&Ms are? How many times we say 'like' in a sentence? Whether we eat our pretzels whole or in bites? Getting to the point of talking about the weather or 'whether's in our lives?

I'm not sure how we would even go about knowing each other superficially, in real life or online, if we already have that deep connection; I'm not sure it's the sort of thing that can work backwards except in the most painful and friendship-ending conditions, almost as an intentional slip out of friendship!
Veemanaismygoddess on December 9th, 2010 12:51 am (UTC)
You always make me giggle Kiwi my dear! I suppose if we can get along on such a level then the little things really wouldn't make a huge difference in the long run!

I would think that if we were to label our friendship I would label it a
"black rainbow" like that line from the Marylin Manson song :P
A beautiful image that can only be seen in the mind's eye...
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || In My Hands.cranky__crocus on December 13th, 2010 05:08 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you got a giggle out of it! ♥ I don't think the 'little things' should make much of a difference. The only real problems I've had with friendships was when we stopped being able to connect on the deeper level!

Ooooh 'black rainbow': I like it! :D I trust our imaginative minds' eyes to see our friendship! *Grins.*