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02 November 2010 @ 01:24 am
This post is to let my mother know that I am alright.

* Friday my second lecturer, Barbara, told me she remembered me from first year Exploiters & Exploited because I was the last one to leave during the nematode practical and because I had a memorable name. We then had a boring male lecturer who put me to sleep because I was ill and in pain (hip & monthlies), sleep being my body's response to pain. I slept through Barbara's lecture. When it was through I apologised to her and she put her hand on my arm to reassure me, telling me she thought I must not have been well and that I didn't seem well last week, either. Pip told me to go take a break and get a drink so I went to the loo. Pip later told me that she had told Barbara, "I hope you don't mind me sending her off--she's ill and needs breaks sometimes." Barbara had responded that no, of course she didn't mind, and that she had got that impression when I fell asleep! She asked why I had come and Pip explained that I seem to have this idea that only death should keep me from lectures. When I came back I complimented Barbara's skirt and made it through practical. We discussed sewing, knitting, crochet, her husband and the fact that he buys her excellent science equipment for Christmas. She added, "He's started buying me jewellery lately and I don't know what to do with it! But look how you can see the larvae with this little camera!" Favourite lecturer this semester, hands down. I felt guilty for being ill and falling asleep. When I left and thanked her in the corridor she squeezed my arm reassuringly again and told me to get well. Quirky and kind - I very much approve!

* I am now exhausted just from writing that up, and feel guilty for taking time away from writing my novel.

* I was terrible and made heartsways get all stuck in traffic as she came to pick me up. We discussed a great many things in the car and I then had a brilliant time at hers eating nummy food she made, watching Buffy and chatting. She has the coolest house ever.

* Met up with queen_of_snapes the next day. We travelled around London until we finally arrived at the AnimeExpo...and then we waited in queues for half an eternity. Huge adventure of finding my friends, meal out of the Expo where we discussed a great many things (like contact juggling), then back in. Lots of interesting cosplays - like Luna Lovegood hand-in-hand with a Smurfette. Checked out the merch. New conference record of not buying ANYTHING. Back across London including a closed station we needed and taking an extra bus, dip into a Tesco (I bought caramel chocolates...) and back to Queen's! Then we lounged and blew our noses. She played Fable 3, we laughed and inspected the character's chest and I did online stuff. We said goodnight to Snape and McGonagall before sleeping. Sunday we lounged around in jammies playing video games and Interneting. I prepared for NaNo. She brought me to Paddington and home I went! I had a brilliant time.

* Downton Abbey (which I need to re-watch), household removal of rubbish (including the mattresses my housemates put on the stairs to make a giant slide -- yeah we're students) and Rocky Horror, which Tinboy and Batgirl (housemates) had never seen but knew much of the music to. They were confused and delighted. Fell asleep at my laptop.

* Today felt icky and apathetic. Skipped useless lecture from the student-only-presentation class for a mental-health/self-pampering/productivity day. Worked on my presentation & got most of the notes done. Watched two films. Wrote 3,000 words for my novel. Made korma quorn and rice.

* Jacquie (housemate) just went up to bed after playing Zelda. Tinboy & Mark are playing Magic Cards. Dimitri is reading and watching. I am going to continue writing - would love to get to 10,000 before I go to sleep, no matter how late that is. Tomorrow is another get-life-sorted day since no lectures.

I am not the student I used to be. I have been angsting over this. But I think, in the end, I'm okay with it. The whole point was that I didn't want to feel I HAD to be the student I was; I wanted to be that student when I desired it. When I have teachers like Barbara.

Happy belated Halloween and First Day of November!
therealsnape: Pumpkintherealsnape on November 2nd, 2010 07:31 am (UTC)
Great to hear you and queen_of_snapes had such a good time! I so hope you'll all be able to make Diacon next year!
President Airlockqueen_of_snapes on November 2nd, 2010 09:24 am (UTC)
I must say out of all the people I've blown my nose with (which is a surprising lot) you were the most fun.
I still can't believe I didn't see Luna because I was distracted by a Smurfette, of all things. I never even watched the Smurfs!
Kiwi Crocus: GA's || Robbins || :Dcranky__crocus on December 2nd, 2010 09:26 pm (UTC)
This comment made me go :D
CaroRulescarorules on November 2nd, 2010 12:10 pm (UTC)
I hope you start feeling better soon. Poor kiwi!
lash_laruelash_larue on November 2nd, 2010 06:47 pm (UTC)
I am not the student I used to be.

Perhaps not, but I think the you that is emerging will be strong and whole, that's much better.
gerristgerrist on November 4th, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC)
Awwww ... a post so I'd stop worrying. Wish I'd read it sooner : ). THANK YOU.

I'm sure you'll be whatever student/person you ought to be Kiwi. I tried very hard to instill good values in you ... like "always go to class unless you are dying". I figured I needed to make an extreme case to any teen in order to get a result that would be less than, but acceptable. In high school you went NUTZ and took the whole thing to an EXTREME EXTREME place. Remember asking your teachers what you could do better to make your 98/99's into 100's? I was thinking, "Oh crud (yeah, right!), perhaps I went too far?".

Later, of course, I realized that I don't have that much power one way or the other and that you were making your own decisions about how far to take anything and everything. It was an experiment in taking it to the extreme. It was a good experiment! Even you must admit (at least in retrospect) that you accomplished your straight A goals.

Now is a different time. Sounds like a new experiment. The part I like best is that you are focused on staying calm, or, at least, not going to the place where you become panicked. I'm sure you'll manage this experiment well and succeed.

You already know that Nano and final year aren't a match made in heaven to me. But this is your life and you keep that creative part very alive, which is a gift I once had and lost. I know the value like a patient who remembers a severed arm. So I keep that in mind and hope it goes wonderfully.

Thanks for the post! XO Mom