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10 October 2010 @ 05:26 am
Dear Two Straight Men at a Gay Club,

Do not corner and grope me. My body is not your play-pen, and your behaviour deserves a serious time out. I was dancing with my friends and you invaded my personal space without my permission. You touched me in places I have no desire to be touched - by you or even by fellow women. Keep your filthy fucking hands off me. I don't want those hands inching up my skirt or pressing up my arse, and if I ever feel that hard inchworm you call a prick pressed against me again, I WILL cut the sodding thing off. The grapes'll be gone too.

When you're rejected by the lesbian who calls her gay boyfriend back over, do not move on to another woman and take a grope at her arse. You deserved to have her boyfriend up in your face. We're women, we're people, and we don't want your objectification or lack of respect. Don't take it somewhere else, learn from your terrible behaviour and its consequences and STOP - learn to respect others and yourself.

Fuck off,
Kiwi The [Gasp] Uninterested Lesbian at the Gay Club

Dear Mark's Almost!Boyfriend,

Thank you for saving me when I gave you my clear 'Help me and get me the frak out of this peen sandwich' look. I very much appreciate it. Thank you for the walk home, too. I hate that in this day and age I need it, but regardless I am grateful. Enjoy the smex with Mark.


Dear Older Lesbians at the Gay Club,

You are adorable and delightful. I'm glad you had a fun night out. I want to be like you some day - do I really have to get through my 20s first?

Appreciating from Afar,
Kiwi The Sick-Of-Being-Young Lesbian-In-Training

Dear Sean,

Thanks for dancing with me and complimenting my moves even though I didn't know what I was doing or what these modern sounds regarded as 'music' were. I always enjoy a good (respectful) dance partner and very much appreciated our fun non-competitive dance-off. I'm sorry for cheating and using the chest-flesh for the added shimmy value.

With a shimmy to the floor,

Dear Random Girls,

Thank you for joining me when I started crazy-dancing alone to Bad Romance. I don't need the company to enjoy dancing, but I'm always glad to have it! You all made me laugh. Thank you for that!

Rah rah ooh la la,

Dear Book and Torchlight,

Thank you for being there for me during those moments when Reading's gay culture wasn't so thrilling and I needed a rest in the corner with any kind of literature. Why can't this place have a gay cafe/bookstore? Why are Reading gays afraid to show their faces in the light of day? (I knew it, we're all vampires.)


Dear Mark,

Thank you for making me come out, getting me in for free and buying me drinks. I love crazy-dancing with you. I also giggle when you kiss your almost!boyfriend. My brain has officially decided that it makes so much more sense when men are kissing men and women are kissing women. Anyway, you're a delight to be around, and you're a frakking riot when you're drunk.


Dear Hale,

Thanks for the coke! You're a life-saver! I savoured that drink like you wouldn't believe.


Dear Becky,

You're super cute. And tall. And nummy. And a Fresher, ooooops.


Dear Granby,

Thanks for another great night out. Please kick the obnoxious straight men out, and give them a clue: they're not going to win over a real lesbian, especially not by groping her without permission. Dolts! Ignoring them, it's great to have a place run by sturdy looking lesbians.


My evening in letter form.
kellychamblisskellychambliss on October 10th, 2010 04:44 am (UTC)
Argh, sweetie, what total losers. That's exactly why gay clubs often don't let straights in. I hope you kneed 'em in the nuts and told the management.

Glad you had good friends with you.
Kiwi Crocus: IM&Y || Dancing.cranky__crocus on October 10th, 2010 07:31 pm (UTC)
Complete losers! I was also standing near a table at one point, waiting for Mark and his almost!boyfriend to get drinks, when one of the men at the table slapped my bum. When I turn around to question it, they made various gesticulations and I honestly had no idea what they were getting at. I danced away and attached myself to Mark.

I don't think I've ever been to a gay club that didn't let straights in. How do they distinguish who is straight and who is not?

I'm torn when this happens. Part of the dance culture is to dance with people, so at a certain distance while they approach I am 'dancing with them'. It is only when they cross my personal line that I have a problem. Usually I like to escape with one of my friends before there's a conflict, but if it takes a moment and there are hands all over me I'm very displeased...but feel a little too flustered to just run off, especially when there is a wingman. If I didn't have a friend around I certainly would be firmer with my rejection. I end up a bit like a deer in the headlights, unfortunately, until it gets too much and I just get angry. I have occasionally been known to jam a hip-bone into an uncomfortable place with considerable force, then shimmy away to safety.

Management was informed, though. The only problem was that it was the last song, so once it was over everyone just escaped. I'm glad I had good friends with me too! Mark knows for next time that the general rule of thumb with me is that if someone (anyone) is touching me, I don't want it; on the off chance that I'm enjoying the contact, my features will be pleased rather than obviously lip-syncing 'help me! get me out!'.

Systems, systems. I should have remembered to keep one in place before I left! Ah well. Next time. This really shouldn't be a regular occurrence. Creeps!
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocus: FGT || Food foreplay.cranky__crocus on October 10th, 2010 07:35 pm (UTC)
It happens to me far too often. I don't know if these men assume I'm a fag hag too... I mean, I dance with my gay men friends, yes, but it's only because I go out with them and they enjoy crazy-dancing with me. However it still happens when I go out with my lesbian friends back home! Annoying. Thank goodness for your friendly lesbian American soldier!

I can't wait to be the one sending virtual hugs to young lesbians-in-training! I won't hurry the time along, of course (not that there's a way to do that), but I'm excited for that time nonetheless. Thank you for your virtual hugs. (:

I love seeing the other generations of lesbians at the club. The gay scene only represents youth far too often, and when other age groups come out it's often under the disguise of youth, following the current trends and hiding wrinkles away. I get excited when I see lesbians out and around who have embraced their age and are still out to have a good time.
þeof in þystro: Womanmothwing on October 10th, 2010 11:00 am (UTC)
Sounds like you had a great time! Well, apart from those bastards, and I'm glad that you got help, and I hope these idiots where kicked out. Bah.
Kiwi Crocus: IM&Y || Dancing.cranky__crocus on October 10th, 2010 07:37 pm (UTC)
I did have a great time! Sod the bastards - they don't matter. :P It was the end of the night so no one was kicked out, but management did hear about it. Regardless, loved being out and dancing! It's funny how much I detest getting ready and GOING out, but BEING out is fantastic. :P
Miss M.miss_morland on October 10th, 2010 12:39 pm (UTC)
Eurgh. I hate it when guys think women's bodies are their own personal playground. (Especially when they're all "You should be flattered by my attentions, you stuck-up bitch!" about it....) Glad you had a good time despite it all.
Kiwi Crocus: HP || Snape || Boobs.cranky__crocus on October 10th, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC)
I hate that too! I am certainly not flattered by the attentions, nor am I attracted to having a hand kneading me like bread!

I did have an excellent time anyway. (: Maybe next time I'll get more lesbian attention. :P
therealsnapetherealsnape on October 10th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
Glad to hear you had a good time, despite the (now hopefully nut-less) nutters.
Kiwi Crocus: Nature || Sunflower.cranky__crocus on October 10th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
Still have their nuts, but I imagine their pride has fallen a few notches. Lots of lovely dancing before them, though!
Leilevelcro_panda on October 11th, 2010 12:11 am (UTC)
Shimmy an elbow in the wrong place next time ;]

Glad to hear you had a decent time otherwise though!
CaroRulescarorules on October 11th, 2010 01:33 am (UTC)
woah long post in a very entertaining format. ;)

Seems like you had ups and down during that evening.