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23 September 2010 @ 11:40 am
 
Progression:

1) Kiwi enters the house to find it completely quiet with no one awake. Not entirely surprised, she and her brother carry in the baggage. There is a dead spider on her bed. Her room reminds her of work, deadlines and feeling trapped. The fear sets in.

2) During the process of lugging the baggage upstairs, Kiwi inspects the kitchen/living room to find it completely different. She doesn't feel homey or comfortable. All her belongings are gone from her cupboard and upon searching the kitchen three different times, she cannot find her stuff. Her fridge space is gone. She doesn't know a number of people in the house and fears her relationships with the others are rocky. The sadness seeps in.

3) Kiwi's brother leaves to pick up some food. Kiwi's strong face crumbles and she spends the length of his absence feeling like a three year old for crying the whole time and moaning about wanting to go home. The reality of the fear and sadness erupt.

4) Kiwi takes out her Netbook. She beats herself up because she has stupidly left her power cord back home, but she does have her laptop with her, so all is not lost and her mother will send the cord. Kiwi IMs with people, including her mother. She remembers that she can get through and that life isn't about others' opinions of her. Sense steps in.

5) Kiwi comes to the conclusion that she is perpetually swinging between these steps. It is an exhausting cycle. She hopes she has the strength and serenity of mind to see it, stall it and stop it.
 
 
 
President Airlock: anteaterqueen_of_snapes on September 23rd, 2010 11:33 am (UTC)
6) Kiwi is smothered with virtual feel-good hugs by Queen_of_Snapes. See, even the anteater is hugging you!
Kiwi Crocus: Firefly || Kaynara || Friends.cranky__crocus on October 9th, 2010 05:38 pm (UTC)
Kiwi is incredibly grateful for the smothering of virtual feel-good hugs from Queen_of_Snapes. (: Still holding them close a long while later! Hugs are glorious and keep well. :D I love your anteater, too. (:

Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocus: Mary || Smiling.cranky__crocus on October 9th, 2010 05:41 pm (UTC)
Kiwi thanks Pale for the ♥ from across the channel! And for the virtual cookies, of course. (: I'm grateful for the support, thank you!
CaroRulescarorules on September 23rd, 2010 05:09 pm (UTC)
Rough to be back, but you'll adjust and I promise it will get better.
Chevy Eliot: BSG - Hugtattooedsappho on September 23rd, 2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
::huggles:: ♥
heartsways: Greys Arizona hey hey heyheartsways on September 23rd, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
6) Kiwi visits a friend who is going shopping tomorrow and will buy nice things. Just tell me what you want and it's yours.

7) Kiwi realises, after visiting said friend, that a problem shared is a problem...uh...shared? Hm. Kind of lost my way with that one.

:)
Kiwi Crocus: Firefly || Kaynara || Friends.cranky__crocus on October 9th, 2010 05:46 pm (UTC)
Kiwi still very much wishes to visit her dear friend! ♥ We don't have to be sharing our problems, but I imagine we will. Uni starts up this week but it only makes me want to escape for the weekend more. Hopefully soon I'll buy a rail card and it will be even easier to get to yours. I hope we can speak real-time (through messenger or something) about it so I can figure out all this train nonsense. I'm not so great at deciphering what trains I should be getting where.
heartswaysheartsways on October 9th, 2010 05:54 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'm on gmail if you want to arrange something.
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on October 10th, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
I'm serenity.oak@gmail.com (: I'm sorry that I've been so flaky with planning. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm really living in England again, this isn't just a visit. In it for the long run, heh.I really love having friends where I'm living. I'll be whatever version of Kiwi you want me to be.