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28 August 2010 @ 07:44 pm
So, I'm doing my general Stay Reasonably Perky on the Interwebs thing, but I wanted you all to know in a brief-ish message that I am actually very not okay presently.

I'm sure at some point a longer explanation will be chiselled into existence; for now that's what I've got: I'm not okay.

(I'm not terrible; I'm not someone you should worry about; I'm not in danger. I'm just not okay, which comes off as somewhat drastic, since I'm generally so incredibly okay and above compared to many people.)

Love is appreciated but not required. (: Thank you for listening. Going to work on adjusting some more.
Current Mood: crushedCrushed.
kellychambliss: Wisdomkellychambliss on August 28th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
I was going to send you a v-gift of lucky rainbow dice, my dear, but LJ says that v-gifts can't be sent to you (don't know why).

So I'll just send my message anyway, and you can pretend the rainbow dice came, too:

Here's what I wrote --
Sending you the lucky rainbow dice o' love, my friend. I was online chatting with The Real Snape today, and we both used the same word about you (talking of your old-people song): Kiwi is remarkable, we said. We love you. Hope you're okay soon.
Kiwi Crocus: Firefly || Kaynara || Friends.cranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:36 am (UTC)
Well, LJ just wasn't behaving, then, and I do not approve.

Thank you for this message. I cried to receive it. You two are two of the most remarkable women I have ever had the privilege of meeting (and befriending), so hearing anything of the sort warms my heart to no end. I love you both as well and am grateful to have been brought back into the HP fandom to meet you.

I hope I am okay soon too. (: I hope I'm getting closer. Thank you for the help.
ubiquitousmixie: breatheubiquitousmixie on August 29th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC)
Sending lots of love and squishy internet hugs your way! xo
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:36 am (UTC)
Thank you thank you thank you! They (and the comment) helped very much. You are darling.
Ginger: black andalusianrainydaymare on August 29th, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
Ffff awww, I'm feeling a bit the same way. We'll get through it. ::hugs::
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:37 am (UTC)
We will we will we will get through this. I'm sorry to hear that you were feeling the same way, though! Hugs!
Feather Quill: Unconditionallovefeatherxquill on August 29th, 2010 03:12 am (UTC)
seabookmongerseabookmonger on August 29th, 2010 03:33 am (UTC)
Waves from the other shore. Throws some flowers too.
Veemanaismygoddess on August 29th, 2010 04:09 am (UTC)
Aw Kiwi :( we all go through ups and downs! I'm sure everything will turn around and something will show itself to you that makes you perk up and go "you know what? this world I live in is a pretty amazing thing"

In the mean time you obviously have lots of people that love you very much, and though I know we don't talk a bunch, I think you're an amazing person and I'm glad we're friendly =D
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:39 am (UTC)
I get those moments frequently, and appreciate them very much, but when I am in my downs they don't manage to bring me all the way up again. I am working on it. Being up again means I have to align myself by yielding to the circumstances. Right now I am still fighting. It's hard to stop. I will fight for the changes that I can bring about that will help, but right now I am not doing that: I'm just fighting the inevitable.

I am grateful to the many people who love me very much. Thank you for your compliments! I think you are also an amazing fantastic wonderful person and am equally glad we're friendly. (: Thank you for the comment.
heartsways: Greys Arizona sternheartsways on August 29th, 2010 07:07 am (UTC)
Hey you, please take care of yourself, okay?
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:40 am (UTC)
I am trying. I am very much trying. Thank you for all your help - it means the world to me.
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:40 am (UTC)
You are incredibly sweet. Thank you for your support and love and hugs. (: I am grateful!
therealsnapetherealsnape on August 29th, 2010 08:38 am (UTC)
Just let me join kellychambliss in wishing you'll feel okay soon! We were mentioning again how much we loved Postscript as well.

Hugs and ♥
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:41 am (UTC)
Thank you for joining Kelly in this. I blush to know you still speak of Postscript; I say, once more, that it was really the prompt that was the true brilliance.

Thank you for the hugs and love, as well - so warming!
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:43 am (UTC)
Great chuckles. Thank you so very much for your Teskey hearts. (: I appreciate them greatly! ♥ (I'm glad you learned, too; they are so very fun!)

Blushes and hugs back. Thank you. You are so very special to me and the world in general! ♥
Juanito [GU]i_love_my_mimi on August 29th, 2010 12:34 pm (UTC)
hmm...i really don't know what you like to listen to, but maybe give these songs a try:
Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry, Be Happy
Espen Lind - Hopelessly Happy
NeverShoutNever - Happy
Uncle Kracker - Smile
Colbie Caillat - Rainbow
Colbie Caillat - Begin Again

hope you feel better; sending lots of love, hugs, and happy thoughts/songs!
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:44 am (UTC)
Thank you! I will have to give those a listen some day. (: I hope I feel better soon too. Thank you for the love, hugs and happy thoughts/music. I appreciate all of it! You are so very kind.
Miss M.miss_morland on August 29th, 2010 06:04 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear this. *sends lots of love*
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:44 am (UTC)
I was equally sad to have to say it - I put it off for a long while. Thank you for the love. I can feel it! And I send much love back. (:
Gloryforestofglory on August 29th, 2010 06:24 pm (UTC)
*tea and hugs*

(I find it comforting that other people try to sound perky on the internet when they are feeling down -- because I do that.)
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on September 14th, 2010 04:45 am (UTC)
Thank you for the tea and hugs - always comforting!

Yes, I certainly go for the perky-on-the-Internet routine. I feel like too much of a downer when I am negative here, in words. It doesn't feel good.

Thank you for the comment!