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06 April 2010 @ 11:11 am
I think I may have scraped 3 hours sleep. Got some references to explore for my River Cole paper. All of my stuff is in folders. My mind has been brushed and labelled.

The den is quiet and clean. The kitchen counters are clear, cleaned, patiently waiting to be crumbed and jammed again. Ani DiFranco is singing or speaking boldly from my little Netbook.

I just screamed when the postman slipped the post through the letterbox. Perhaps I'm more jittery than I'm allowing myself to believe - I'll keep up the denial, though. It's more comfortable. I don't want to leave this place that has provided a little comfort to my declining mind.

A few last moments of denial about all that's going to occur, about the next month and some of my life. 1 hour and 20 minutes until I board a coach and prepare for the trip - a bridge that deposits me on The Other Side, with deadlines, exams and dreaded new academic experiences. I'm not excited.

I'll probably keep screaming at the letters through the letter box; I need some way to release my fear at the Big Stuff without attacks of pent-up terror and rage. Here's to unravelling: Mistress Fate and Mademoiselle Past, shall we touch drinks? Cheers. Keep me afloat this time around, if you please.

My brain keeps singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to me. I daresay it's not out of joy or feeling particularly like an unfettered bluebird, but out of an optimistic hope to get back to that place where I fit best, somewhere in the land of colour....I'd like to get back to that place.

Now for a lie:

Pirate Monkey's Harry Potter Personality Quiz
Harry Potter Personality Quiz
by Pirate Monkeys Inc.
Current Mood: rejectedRegretful.
Current Music: Your Next Bold Move - Ani DiFranco
crazyboutremmycrazyboutremmy on April 6th, 2010 01:14 pm (UTC)
I wish there was some way I could truly help you, because it's so hard to convey genuine support and understanding over the internet and through some words from a thousand miles away. But know that I'm thinking of you (in a non-creepy way) and hoping that it works out for you. ♥
Kiwi Crocus: Nature || Blossoms.cranky__crocus on April 16th, 2010 12:26 am (UTC)
You do a fantastic job, and thank you. (: Things aren't WORKING, necessarily, but they're working out! Funny that.
therealsnapetherealsnape on April 6th, 2010 04:05 pm (UTC)
Still, you're decisive and efficient, and have excellent organizational skills.
Think of all the things Minerva had to juggle during that Triwizard Tournament.
Have a good trip to Spain and remember Kelly's excellent advice: one task at the time, one day at the time. It really helps.
Kiwi Crocus: HP || McMin || Herd of desks pwn.cranky__crocus on April 16th, 2010 12:28 am (UTC)
Laughter. I certainly try to be decisive and efficient. (: My organisational skills could use some brushing up, I'm sure. At least my time management - I believe that would go under organisation, or at least it does in my head!

Thank you for the reminder of excellent advice. (: It has been helping!
kellychambliss: By TSkellychambliss on April 7th, 2010 12:42 am (UTC)
I'd offer to write your papers for you, except a) I would have no idea what I was talking about, and b) as a teacher, I'm supposed to discourage cheating. I know it won't help to hear someone say they know you can do it, but. . .you can! After all, you're a natural leader with organizing skills who can improvise when she needs to.
Kiwi Crocus: Random || Green bubble.cranky__crocus on April 16th, 2010 12:31 am (UTC)
Oh, piffle, river restoration isn't THAT tricky. (: (I say that, yet I'm sure it won't stop me from whinging when I finally get around to it leave Spain. I laughed at your second explanation. P:

I am doing a lot of improvising and leading/calming/organising, here in Spain with a large group of students, no cemented plans on the travel home and many fraying tempers/spirits!
Leilevelcro_panda on April 7th, 2010 05:38 am (UTC)
Kiwi Crocus: GA's || Torres || Do science to it.cranky__crocus on April 16th, 2010 12:32 am (UTC)
Well done! I used to be more of a Hermione Granger; wonder what changed!
Leilevelcro_panda on April 19th, 2010 05:50 am (UTC)
Dun dun dun