Kiwi Crocus (cranky__crocus) wrote,
Kiwi Crocus

The rain is still falling above my head. I love the sound.

I sent Mrs. Cavanagh a birthday email. :) Not The Email - not happy enough for a birthday, and I don't know when I'll send it - but just a happy birthday email with a song. I hope it will make her heart happy and not sad! I meant it in all joy!

Am up too late. Was meant to be asleep 2 hours ago. Speaking with my mother on my birthday is worth the extra yawns.

If you wish to read of my birth and some strange aspects of me, feel free to read this conversation with my mother. It made me smile. :)

Confucious say, "One who must pee no sleep"

I am finding that to be very true in my older age. My bladder actually wakes me up these days.

in your older age. LOL

Ya know, I was in a fair amount of pain 20 years ago right now

Ouchies. And my head felt a bit cramped.

Oh yeah, I'm sure you were getting REALLY sick of the process by then. They'd put us on a few hrs. of demeral sleep to make one last attempt before they moved us from "the good birthing room" I'd been so happy to get into the "prep for surgery area".

I remember the midwife saying, "You have to give up on the natural birth now. You've got to let it go ... I'd been trying for over 24 hrs.

Ouch ouch ouch!

I cried as they pulled you out and cleaned you off.

Then they brought you over to me as they were in the middle of stitching me up to show me my new baby girl with the mega cone head. The midwife said, "You see how hard you tried!"
I was a bit terrified and asked if your poor head would stay that way.

It did. Secretly, inside, I am a cone head.

She laughed and said, "No, her head will be lovely and round within an hour of so".


And you had that big "strawberry" on your forehead too! but you were beautiful!!nyou looked really shell shocked and very much like you were still in another world.

Dad was the one who had to follow you around for a while as they finished my surgery and my stomach started to feel again ... that REALLY hurt and I wanted to punch the nurse who kept pushing it in circles HARD and saying "I know it hurts but I have to do it".

Then I was OUT. And you remember the story of when I awoke, right?

You freaking out at Da about letting them take me to another room? And him running down the corridor in his underwear to get me, or something?

That's it!!

I woke up and said, "Where's my baby?!" And he said, "She's in the nursery" And I FLIPPED OUT SCREAMING, "What?! You let those people we don't even know take her?! GO GET HER .. GO GET HER NOW!! NOW!!!” He tried to utter something about them telling him it was ok for a baby to be in the nursery, which only made me scream more.

I guess I had that instinct thing going on huh? No one takes care of my baby before we do! who knows what they might do to you? LOL Do you think I'd be more calm about it now?

Hahaha no I don't really think so. :P I mean when I was taken away for surgeries and stuff you were similar! Not that it's a bad thing!

you know me too well luckily, so does your father so he did not suffer the same fate when Alex came.

Hahaha no I would think not! Perhaps that's why Dweeb is a bit of a Momma's Boy. ;) Didn't have those first few moments of independence.

Hmmph i think you were much happier when you were back in the room with us! familar voices instant response to any need you had

no strange and noisy "others" to wake you up just as you nodded off ... just the same old sounds you were used to, but they must have sounded a bit different without all the water in your ears

Grandpa Meme and Grammie were all mad we hadn't called them to the hospital to "be there". Not my idea of a party, having a baby. Not a great time for divorced parents around either. Couldn't deal with it.

Guess I was a bit independent myself except for Dad. He needed to be IN THE OPERATING ROOM. Thank goodness Dad has that calm presence and the doctors let him in!!Bet they tell the squeamish and panicky types to wait outside and drug the moms to keep them calm

Mmm, I would think so! Probably for the best. I'm glad I picked up the calm presence (when needed) from Da - especially as far as operating rooms go!

Yes, a very handy skill for you!

Although I seem to remember that in my romps through the operating table I pointed out how cool everything was and wondered what would be used on me...and hugging the head of anaesthesiology.

You are a trooper about it!

Sorry I haven't figured out your present yet

It's totally fine. :) I'm not a huge present person.

I wrote to Malcolm about buying you the stuff you sent links too ... yeah, I know you don't mind and you KNOW I haven't forgotten. I'm more used to being around to handle it last minute. but this is YOUR year to be a BIG GIRL : )

I picked myself up a few cheap things from the charity shop - an oil fragrance burner with a gel candle for £2.50 - and I'll nab something rainbow tomorrow. It's all good. :]

Awr, laughter, they're all my year. No need to stress any of them! It's all good. I like celebrating my birthday by remembering and songs. And okay, a little rainbow. (A lot... :P) But it's not about the gifts!

Yeah! It was amazing that we were able to be there last year


and it feels like you are in a perfect place to be without us this year

But I think 20 is a good time to experience my birthday for the first time outside of my immediate family - taste the first real independence.

like you are super settled now, even since Christmas when it would have been tough yeah, it seems fitting and I'm glad you are happy about it. (would stink if you were sad, but it would be the truth if that's they way you feel. And the truth is more important than anything)

the caterpillar emerges as a rainbow butterfly

And this rainbow buttefly is out for sleep! Sorry for the many posts today - making up for the lack of Internet, I suppose!
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