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04 February 2010 @ 04:02 am
Oh! I kept wondering why 4 February felt so important. I knew there was something my mind was trying to remember.

It's Mrs. Osborne's birthday! My old English teacher. 8th grade. Holy crow, six years ago. I still remember her fondly. I love English and literature. I miss it.

Too early to send something (it isn't even her birthday in that time zone) so I'll have to send something later today. I'll send something through Sonja, too, since she works at the school and I can't always get to Mrs. O through email.

It dawned on me that my mother and I are in similar spots. Transitioning. Her with her post-Momness and me with my post-studentness. I mean, we're both in the ends of those phases right now and looking at what we're going to do next.

I love ecology. I love sitting in lectures, learning about ecology. Hearing things. Researching things. I hate running experiments, writing academic writing, writing reports, doing busy work, taking tests, taking exams. I love revising.

There's a lot I don't like about Uni. I'm still glad to be here, of course, and to be living my dream - being in England, having these friends, creating my own communities, growing into myself, learning about things I love. I know I need to get a degree and I'm sure I'll be relieved when I have it. The word 'dissertation' and the phrase 'next year' can throw me into a panicked tizzy, but I'm sure I'll get through them because I always do.

I'm still waiting for the what-comes-after. Living poor off spaghetti-ohs and dreams. Groaning about student payments. Missing random college moments and being nostalgic, then kicking myself in the gut and snapping 'yeah, but do you remember THIS?' Listening to Avenue Q and singing along to "How Do I Go Back to College" with great empathy. Charity shop clothing. Too many beans and too much bread. Travel. Sitting in coffee shops with enough money to buy one cup of coffee and making it last hours just to sit writing.

I think what I really need to do is start writing again, to get me through all this. Pick up Writing Down the Bones more often. I apologise for the two long updates back-to-back. Wasn't intended. Guess with my voice not working in real life, my fingers are prepared to make up for the silence.
Current Mood: boredBored.
CaroRulescarorules on February 4th, 2010 03:27 pm (UTC)
I know a lot of people miss college when it's over but I pretty much enjoyed what came after way more.. the whole independence stuff, having money and doing what I wanted is something I could never get tired of.
Kiwi Crocus: HP || Hermione || Thinking about school.cranky__crocus on February 15th, 2010 12:07 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking I'll be more like that. After all, I went to the sort of high school that everyone seems to miss BUNDLES once they're gone and I'm just fine. I mean, I have friends who are like 25 and went to college and still consider the Aggie (my high school) the 'time of their life' and wish they could go back there every day. I definitely don't get that way.

I'm pretty independent now and have some money, but I'm not much of a spender really. I'm just excited to get out of the university-stress environment and get different stressors in my life. Nothing really gets to me as much as grades and school assignments.
CaroRulescarorules on February 15th, 2010 02:10 pm (UTC)
Lol High School was so not the time of my life. So far I enjoy now way more than before. I am way more comfy with myself and my relationships are way stronger too. It's gotta be worth something.
Kellyddagent on February 6th, 2010 07:06 pm (UTC)

I think singing How Do I Go Back to College and eating spaghetti is a perfect way to spends one time. As long as its with writing too. :D
Kiwi Crocus: RHPS || Cast || Crazy.cranky__crocus on February 15th, 2010 12:08 pm (UTC)
I entirely agree! And yes, of course I'll be writing. :P The reason I'll be eating spaghetti-O's is cause I'll be spending my money on bus fare and cafe products as I sit around writing novels no one will ever read, at least until I die. :D