Kiwi Crocus (cranky__crocus) wrote,
Kiwi Crocus

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Sarah's grandfather died today.

I don't know what to do. There are very few people in this world that I don't get along with. Even with those few, I tend to find ways to connect regardless.

Sarah is somehow not fitting that category. I left a note on Harry's door and I'm going to have a conversation with him to see if I can feel connected. If anyone can bring me to liking Sarah again, or feeling capable enough to bridge the distance to love despite a lack of general affection, Harry is the one to do that. He likes her; he fancies her.

I feel like a jerkface. I understand that sometimes two people don't have chemistry (romantic, friendly, professional, whatever) but I usually appreciate that I can cut through that and feel as though I'm doing the right thing and spreading love.

It bothers me that Sarah is feeling bereft and here I am, just sitting here concerned with one of my core values gone missing. This is very unlike me. Hopefully Harry can help.

To be honest, Sarah probably wouldn't want me to do anything since she isn't particularly fond of me, either, and didn't tell me about her grandfather (I found out from the group), but I still am bothered by the seemingly impenetrable wall between the two of us. Especially given a year ago we were capable of sitting in her room or the corridor laughing for an hour about of our own feet.

I'm drafting a note.
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