I got an email back from my professor.
'It had better be early in the week to give you time to make changes!
Monday will be fine - provisionally 2 pm in 207 Lyle? - ring from the
porter's desk so I can let you in.
I am thankful, I am. 'Time to make changes.' Changes as if I've been able to properly start.
Fuck. I just want to stab my stomach, curl up and cry until June. I worked with my mind all morning to give me some freedom and perspective. As soon as I come back, as soon as I think about work, it all just evaporates.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. My mind is full of profanity. This is not good.
I want to not take myself so seriously.