Kiwi Crocus (cranky__crocus) wrote,
Kiwi Crocus

  • Mood:
I have an interview with Marla tomorrow at Stony Brook, about the job over the summer with the camp. I can so be all over this job I just...need to get my act together. And it's not coming. Fuck.

I got an email back from my professor.

'It had better be early in the week to give you time to make changes!
Monday will be fine - provisionally 2 pm in 207 Lyle? - ring from the
porter's desk so I can let you in.

M. Shaw'

I am thankful, I am. 'Time to make changes.' Changes as if I've been able to properly start.

Fuck. I just want to stab my stomach, curl up and cry until June. I worked with my mind all morning to give me some freedom and perspective. As soon as I come back, as soon as I think about work, it all just evaporates.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. My mind is full of profanity. This is not good.

I want to not take myself so seriously.
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