Kiwi Crocus (cranky__crocus) wrote,
Kiwi Crocus

Mischief with the New Jeans

My life is occasionally confusing, but mainly entertaining. The plans for the evening are sorted out. My parents are dealing with Dell Hell.

I walked into my parents' room. I didn't know what was going on, so I checked out my rear end in my new jeans in the huge mirror - I am no longer used to having a considerable mirror.

I took my mother's hand and put it against my bum.

Mum: That's a nice bum! Are you flexing?
Kiwi: No, when I flex it's like this.
M: Oh! Yours feels like mine when I flex. Here, feel this. [Kiwi puts hand on bum.] No, you gotta squeeze.
K: [Squeezes.] Ah, right!
M: And nonflexed. [Goes back for another feel of Kiwi's bum.] That is a very nice bum. Feels firm but not too much. Thank goodness for my tennis muscles!

I went to the loo to continue laughing about my interactions with my mother. Within a second, I hear someone speaking softly in the room. I look around, perplexed. I lean down and hear my pocket speaking to me.

I hear "Leave a message after the beep" right as I finish weeing (as Jojo would call it). I dig the phone out of my pocket and see 'Merf' on the screen. I leave a message that my phone pocket-dialed her and I will tell her the rest of the story later. I think she would be vastly entertained by my phone calling her on the loo.

Dear Lost Boy (my phone's name): I, unlike Moaning Myrtle, do not need to limit my communication to the loo. Thank you for your attempts to reconnect me with my friend. I will make sure to see her this evening. Love, Kiwi P.S. Welcome to my life. I'm sorry my bed ate you. She does that sometimes, it just means she likes you, I promise.

Moments like these remind of moments in high school, and further remind me that I am living in a strange version of The Burrow with an odd family that would surely fit in with the Wizarding (and Witching - Magical, to be Gender Nonspecific) World.

I SEE MY SISTER SOON. Provided I don't get dreadfully lost, which is a distinct possibility. Let us hope not. :)
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