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06 November 2009 @ 05:04 pm
So I'm a numpty who did an assignment a week early (last Friday), didn't turn it in and forgot to turn it in this Friday before 4. That is dumb.

What is equally dumb is submitting it late anyway (on Blackboard) and sending an apology email to the professor, just because I hate to have anyone think of me as someone who wouldn't do an assignment or wouldn't do it on time. (I'm fine with people thinking of me as someone who would be ditzy enough to not turn it in - that is very up my alley.) I really need to work on this not having an ego thing! So that was stupid, and will probably make the professor feel uncomfortable, and whatever it's sent.

What I'm confused about is why I'm not crying right now. Normally the cycle is:

1) Kiwi doe something 2) Kiwi feels she has done something that will disappoint someone, and it hurts the people-pleaser inside her 3) Kiwi cries.

I am also confused why I wasn't freaking out and hyperventilating on my bike ride home when I realised the minute after leaving the library that I had forgotten to hand in an assignment worth 10% of my course, that I had already DONE.

This all very much perplexes me. So I'm going to go downstairs and make a jacket sweet potato and then come upstairs for more work. I am so confused with life right now. Why am I okay? Why? That doesn't make any sense.
Current Mood: confusedConfused.
lash_laruelash_larue on November 6th, 2009 05:58 pm (UTC)
It might not make sense to you, but it sounds positive to me.

And I am quite sure this isn't the first time this has happened with one of this professor's students. People being what they are and all.

Not that big a deal, and you're treating it like that.

At least that what it looks like from here.
Kiwi Crocus: Domo || Science || Schoooool.cranky__crocus on November 6th, 2009 06:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, it's definitely positive, and it's definitely not the first time this has happened with one of the professor's students, and it's definitely not a big deal.

The thing that IS a big deal?

Is the fact that I'm TREATING it like it isn't a big deal. Because, in history, that has not happened.

And I don't know what to do with myself. :P So I'm singing and contemplating food and cleaning my room and ukulele and meditation and writing. It's all very fun.

Thanks for the reassurance!