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15 October 2009 @ 08:49 pm
[. we could just get drunk, yeah that could be our excuse .]  
Examples of the type of vocab. sentences I used to write in high school that now entertain me:

The intent of the high school party was to adulterate the valedictorian with whiskey, but to her delight she convinced the student gathering that she was already inebriated from dihydrogen monoxide.

“I AM a more talented painter than an elephant!” the outraged artist exclaimed, tears speckling his eyes, “How many ambidextrous elephants have you seen?”

The principal realised that augmenting his resume had been far from his most brilliant idea as he was chased from the freshman geometry class by honour students wielding rulers and protractors.

“I’m sorry, your dinner gathering is simply bereft of decent society,” the woman informed, fortunately unable to spot the teen dangling from the chandelier due to the dead bird pretending to be a hat on her head.

The cheerleader raised an eyebrow at her friend as she inquired, “What are you going to do, deploy an armada to find one sunken heel? Just wear combat boots to prom.”

The teacher gave his student a dour look as he responded, “For heavens sake, Patrick, I told you once--your sister becoming vegan leaves her no more likely to eat your homework: stick with the parakeet story!”

Great fortitude was required to scale the mountain and claim the land--fortitude Glenda thankfully didn’t have, so she settled for watching it while warm in her living room.

It was an unfortunate character trait of Susan’s, her perpetual gape, for she suffered both from dry-mouth syndrome and an uncanny ability to catch goldfish in her mouth--mutually exclusive difficulties.

The terrible ruckus termed ‘music’ coming from the teenagers lair drew the nanny down, but its insidious nature at last drew the paid help into a nearly non-consensual dance with her duster.

“I was under the intimation that you were my son’s babysitter,” the old man informed the tall smiling politician, “but my wife tells me you are a cardboard cut-out of Bush, and that I must chuck you on my way to the optician.”

Yoga, Wendy believed, was supposed to make one as pliable as a palm in the wind, but her final conclusion upon throwing out her back was that yoga was for the young.

“If you reiterate that redundant statement once more I will restate my dreaded recap of ‘Detention, Arthur!’” the teacher repeated, thoroughly vexed by the paradoxical nature her class time had adopted.

The student looked at her teacher stolidly as she was informed that her career testing was inconclusive; she screamed when she was told she had lost one point on the quiz. (The teacher remedied, “Your career path is academia.”)

The sandwich gazed tentatively out the lunchbox, fearing the pre-adolescent incisors that would soon cut to its very core of bologna.

The children deemed it opposite day when they arrived in the classroom to find the teacher unkempt, asleep and drooling on their history assignments.

“Repeat what I just said, then,” the teacher challenged, and groaned when the student mocked it verbatim.

The woman peeked warily under the couch, and rightfully so, for in no more than an instant the dust bunnies were upon her with the voracious appetite of bed bugs at a slumber party.


I loved going through my old sentences too. Some dark, some strange, some funny...makes me laugh.
 
 
Current Mood: highHigh.
 
 
 
Chevy Eliot: Ripped Jeanstattooedsappho on October 15th, 2009 07:59 pm (UTC)
you are win. just so you know. win. total and utter win. LOL
Kiwi Crocus: Dollhouse || Sierra || Geeky smile...cranky__crocus on October 15th, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC)
Awwr, thanks. :P I'm glad you liked them. Ah the lovely days of high school English. My teacher totally adored me for my crazy-arse, sarcastic and often dark sentences. Especially since I usually made fun of beloved high school ideas with them!
phyrablazephyrablaze on October 16th, 2009 07:17 am (UTC)
man. these are awesome. haha!
Kiwi Crocus: Buffy || Willow || Just smile...cranky__crocus on October 16th, 2009 11:35 am (UTC)
Ah, yes, once upon a time I had OODLES of fun with my homework. :P
101mutts: Border Collie101mutts on October 16th, 2009 08:10 pm (UTC)
Some of these are almost identical to the ones you came up with for my Hoegler vocab several weeks ago... But they're reallly all from high school, just stored in your memory?
Kiwi Crocus: Mary McDonnel || Laugh out loud!cranky__crocus on October 16th, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC)
Oh no no no! These are the ones I sent you for your Hoegler vocab. I was just giving examples of sentences LIKE the ones I wrote in high school. I read through my old high school ones, too, and they are similar--not for the actual words, necessarily, but just in what I write about and how.
Treecreatesunspots on October 17th, 2009 01:10 am (UTC)
You're a clever Kiwibird.
Kiwi Crocus: BSG || Roslin/Starbuck || Glomphug!cranky__crocus on October 17th, 2009 09:59 am (UTC)
Awwwr, thanks. :)