I have a squish on my stats professor and it kind of delights me. (Squish = low-level crush. Both classification I do nothing about. 'Professor' also means that NO classification would mean acting on feelings. Seriousness through.)

She's adorkable. She couldn't get the technology down. First she accidentally set off all the lights so that only the one by her table was on and then looked shocked. Then she couldn't figure out how to turn down the sound so there was a giant beep when she exited something; we taught her how to mute it. She couldn't figure out how to work the paper projector for a bit and kept staring up at the screen thoughtfully, saying, "Well, I guess we're waiting."

I also noticed that this week when she started speaking quickly she paused, took a deep breath and continued more slowly. It made me smile. Of course I don't think *I* caused that, but I'd like to think perchance my email helped a tad bit! She's doing a lot better now that she slows her speaking and moniters her nerves.

(And, by the way, all that stuff is stuff I would have observed regardless of squishes. :P When it's time to give my attention to lecturers, I give it!)

However, halfway through we were covering easy material again and I could feel my eyelids giving out on me. I tried to stay awake. That's when the beep happened. It saved me! At the end of lecture, since my friends and I are always the ones who stick around anyway, I complimented her outfit and wished her luck with the technology. I mentioned how the beep had saved me and we chuckled about Freshers Flu. She seemed to be calming down, which was lovely. Jojo mentioned that Professor Underwood (coolest name ever, right?!) had almost jumped and screamed when Jo approached her. Poor nervous woman! But she's a laugh when she settles down.

So that will make statistics a bit more fun. Squishes are fun. Nice butterfly smile-y feelings that don't affect anything save my personal joy. Reminds me of the squish I had on the lecturer Natascha last year. It also made me raise my eyebrow at ages and positions. I'm friends with mature students on my course who are frequently older than the professors. Don't know why it's more of a stigma for me to have a squish on a young professor than a 40-year-old university friends. But I suppose university always complicates the ridiculous age standards!

Regardless, I am playing the Game of University the way my father did--as many crushes as I want, completely unlimited, but I'm not actively acting on any. With most of them I refuse purely out of my personal honour code (professor, teaching assistant, older friend, no urge to change relationship in any way, etc.) but mainly I'm just loving all these crushes on intellectual people!

I also wish that people wouldn't think of "crush" as this terribly inappropriate thing. Thankfully none of my friends do. "Crush" means, for me, "I admire this person and she is wonderful; she gives me butterflies in my stomach." It is not "I am highly lustful of this person and want to pursue a possibly inappropriate relationship." They're not even sexual for me!

That was totally not where I wanted to go with this entry. I guess it's just been on my mind since some of Lash's comments and others' comments too. (Totally no negative energy in that statement, Love! Stuff that's just been on my mind since. I'm sending you extra love for your October Fall.)

Also? Introduction to the History and Philosophy of Science was incredible. I love having Nick Battey for a lecturer again--loved him in Exploiters! He has a wonderfully dry sense of humour. ([Picture of the Great Fire of London.] "Great Fire of London...it's a photograph." I snorted. And he called Copernicus' struggle a "hot topic," at which point both Michael Shaw and I laughed. Emma didn't get it. Michael Shaw is the other lecture and he sneaked into the back of the room without anyone else noticing. I have a total intellectual!crush on him, which makes me giggle.

(Yes, my intellectual!crushes can be on any gender. He's also adorable with his facial expressions and body movements. I love that he's an eccentric ecologist like Mark, who is of course another intellectual!crush. My university life is full of them.)

In conclusion...hmm...university life is totally back and I appreciate it for the endless butterfly-inducing crushes of all assortments, all innocent! Rock on!

Time for smammiches (I made one!), signing my loan (yaaay money to the university) and walking home (reading, methinks?). Then phone calls (hopefully, for productivity) and nap (hopefully, for rest against Freshers' Flu).

P.S. I had the BSG book on my lap today and kept looking down in Statistics, then looking up shocked after seeing Mary McDonnel's face staring up at me. Then I smiled. It kept me from falling asleep more than I'd like to admit. Freshers' Flu needs to stop robbing me of sleep!