Kiwi Crocus (cranky__crocus) wrote,
Kiwi Crocus

Teh Punching Ben

Yesterday there was a funny moment that everyone apparently thought was epically great. I thought I would put it up.

We were all hanging out in my room. Ben was having his north vs. south argument with Sarah and wanted to prove something on the computer. Now, I was writing. A novel. For NaNoWriMo. He tried to rip my computer from me.

I batted him away and told him that if he was going to use my stuff, he was going to get my permission. He kept putting his hands on my laptop.

[Kiwi gets upset.]
Ben: "Women!"
[Kiwi is now in an uproar.
Kiwi: "Men! Testosterone! Idiocy! YOU!" said exactly the way he had previously said 'women,' increasing in volume each time.
[Everyone cracks up.] A moment later:
Ben: "Can I log you out of Facebook?" [Logs out before Kiwi has answered.]
Ben: "What, I asked permission!"
Kiwi: "AND YOU DIDN'T WAIT FOR IT! The point of a QUESTION is to receive an ANSWER. That is why it has a QUESTION MARK."
[Ben keeps grabbing and grabbing, Kiwi just watches him with anger spewing from her pores and her fingers clenching and unclenching.]
Juliette: "Kiwi looks kinda angry."
Lora and Sarah: "We know. We're hiding."
[Ben finishes. Kiwi smells her laptop and glares at him, snapping at him each and every time he does something that peeves her.]

However. I gleefully laugh at the fact that he had no response to my retort of his "WOMAN!" comment, which he makes frequently. For it is the only thing to blame a woman's actions on, apparently, the fact that she has two lumps of fat on her torso and a hole between her legs. Obviously. That's what everything a woman does stems from.

I also ganked him a new one on the stairs when he told me that it wasn't gentlemanly to ASK a woman if she wanted help carrying something, only if you took it from her. Because, "Back home, we NEVER let a woman carry anything if we have free hands." Which is nice and pleasant and all. But Lora WANTED to carry her parcel and, hello, we are not muscleless ninnies sweeping about in corsets and petticoats these days!

I have also discovered ka sparkling strawberry flavour drink, and it is the most amazing drink in the world. I love it.

Kiwi: "I just want to be like this drink. Sweet...and kind...and slightly reddish pink..."
Sarah: "And artificial?"
Kiwi: "Precisely."

Now back to writing down the other end of the hall and notes later tonight. And hopefully some more bickering with Ben! Strangely twinkling eyes here...
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