February 6th, 2014

Ani D || Grinning.

(no subject)

Snow day! Woke in my own time, bit past 12.30. Glad I can still manage sleeping past noon when I set my mind to it. (;

Lounged around in bed reading for around four hours (no pants are the best pants). Did a rotation with all my books, reading a section of each with an extra section of my 'active' book (The Absolutist, for book club) in-between. For those curious: Tipping the Velvet, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (read gender-bent), The Ethical Slut, My Name Is Red (previous book club book I failed to finish), Youth Ministry Advising and The Highly Sensitive Person. Getting to just sit and read felt wonderful, as it always does.

4 hours, in the grand scheme of things, is not actually that much time from a week. I wonder if I can convince myself to dedicate the time from one free leisure day a week, or at least split it into 2 hours over 2 days or even 4 hours over 4 days.

Took my sweet time in everything. I think I expected that, though; yesterday I was super productive. I cleaned all my surfaces and even the walls before I went to work, had my committee meeting and then stopped by Target and the gas station to do other things I needed. (Failed to inflate the tyres because the gorram sodding bork-brained machine ate my money and the attendant could do nothing about it but state that she "really should go put a sign on it or something". Damn right you should! Do it, rather than adding it to a useless list of Shoulds!)

Showered and my housemate cut 5-6 inches off my hair, which was long overdue. It was down past my butt and well along my thighs--I didn't even know it grew that long for me or that I might have the genes for it! Thought it'd have to stop at the bottom of my bum. It feels very short and manageable now despite still being at my tail-bone.

Mostly got up to stuff while watching Voyager. It seems that finally meeting Seven (aslkdjfhglaskdfhg finally meeting Seven) has put me into a craze of constant watching, whereas before I was watching slowly and savouring. I'm pleased either way.

Oh! The other day in meeting weekly summary examples came up, in regards to what had been sent to me and E earlier in the year and recently to A. I mentioned that one of the summaries that had been shared was one of N's from this year--one that included me. We discussed it and she made a comment about how far I had come along with my class, given what they were like at the beginning of the year when we tried to do a co-teaching activity too early. My class was incredibly difficult to manage then. Now we have our little blips but for the most part we do fine and we have our routine. It was wonderful to hear.

Plenty of thinky-thoughts on this slow day today. I won't subject you to them all. I've been messaging with a few people on OkCupid and will be meeting up with someone next Tuesday. Been thinking a lot about why I seem to be the sort of person who doesn't crave those kinds of relationships or doesn't seem bothered about them either way--how I wouldn't mind reading in bed with someone else for 4 hours or having them putter about with whatever they do, but I am more than perfectly content to do it all on my own and in my own company. Happy, in fact. Relieved to not have to worry about anyone's feelings or needs but my own. Perhaps unapologetically selfish? I don't know. The world I am a part of doesn't seem to mention the people like me very much; fanfic sometimes does, characters on their own with more permanence or as a set-up for future romance. Trying to remind myself that if I would immediately say "live however you want--however makes you happy" to someone else then I must say it to myself as well; somehow it's always different to say it's all right for another and to give self-permission. That's the gist of my thoughts, anyway. That and Janeway's hair/face/shoulders/towel/not-towel. (Hey, there are some people I would give up the solitude for hands-down, and she wouldn't get the boot for spilling coffee in bed, either.)

That's all from the Pipsqueak!

[Crossposted from dreamwidth.]