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Kiwi Crocus
02 March 2012 @ 06:00 am
Earlier today (yesterday, now), I asked kellychambliss a ridiculous grammar question for a drabble-set story I had written. She was very helpful.

I was just woken up by a headache and had nearly fallen back asleep when my characters settled, once and for all, how they were going to deal with the grammar problem. (Kind of them, isn't it? Sort it out while I'm trying to sleep and keep me from sleeping 'til I've opened up my laptop and written it out.)

Anyway, it's done now, and I was wondering if anyone would mind a quick beta read-through of the finished story? Femslash, set of five linked drabbles (500 words), silly and a bit serious, based on a common grammatical error, and loosely inspired by Kelly's double-drabble Stunners.

Anyone game?

Just thought I'd post the question while it was on my mind and I was sleepy/brave enough to. Now I am off to sleep for hopefully another four hours.
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
02 March 2012 @ 11:03 pm
I was downstairs looking for 2012 National Geographics (I have March, missing January and February); instead I found two journals. "Kiwi's Hip Journal" and "Kwi's Hip Journal II". My hip fills up two journals! Mum wrote them; occasionally Da has a note here or there.

Note from Future Kiwi who is finished reading: I copied down more than I had intended, probably as much for myself as anyone on my flist. It's long. You're absolutely welcome to read. It's the tale of me and my hip, from the POV of my mother (and occasionally father). It's got ups and downs. It's a pretty good way to see some of my character from an outside POV. Also, proof that my parents (and even brother, who was at that time called Xander [by me]) are awesome. So if you want to get to know the teenage me who went through all of this stuff, feel free to read some or all of it!

It's so strange to skim through it. Some quotes and such - perhaps a touch triggery.Collapse ) Long Live Fluffy! I am much the same now. Some days are almost too hard to bear - but they're rare, thankfully - some days are difficult, some days are reasonable, and some days are so wonderful I forget I have a hip replacement altogether.

I had plans for getting things done today, I suppose, but between finding these journals and my parents having fun friends over, I didn't get anything done. Unless I count this. I think I will, actually. It feels like a step toward the self-esteem and non-sensitivity goals: it reminds me of what I've been through, what I was like as I went through it, and put things in perspective. I have broken myself; I have been broken and put back together differently, painfully; I have scratched myself silly; I have learned to live in pain; I have learned to live without pain again; I have passed out in showers; I have taught myself to walk multiple times; I have pulled myself through the process of being fixed, as much as I could be, with the help of my family and friends.

I lived through it. I have the scars. Laughing and smiling and dancing are still some of my favourite activities. I know it's not about "what we do" or "what we've done", but I think a key part of what makes us up is "how we've done it", and I did it pretty well. I get to say that I matter. I mattered enough to fight to be happy and fight for what I needed--so somewhere, deep down, I think I matter and I think I'm worth the effort.

It's just a matter of bringing that to the surface more often, when I'm not put in such extreme circumstances (because, good green earth, I'd really prefer not to for another Good Long Time!). Kiwi out! *Flies away, cape all aflutter, because apparently now she wears a cape.*