September 6th, 2011

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

So, corny love stuff and wishful thinking have never really been my style.

But I fell for this woman (unrequited) at camp, J, and the post-camp re-entry period has absolutely been made worse by heartache. It hasn't been improved by the fact that she promised she would (and wanted to, more importantly) keep in touch with me but despite my numerous attempts to contact her (Facebook comments, Facebook wall posts--including for her birthday, Facebook messages, following her on Twitter as requested), I had received back only two responses and I could quote them by heart: ":)" and "♥".

Which, granted, cute. But in two weeks of being apart after four weeks of daily interaction, an emoticon and a symbol? Not so much what I call "keeping in touch".

It was really getting to me. I was alternatively frightened, sad and irked (which isn't unusual for me even just with friendship feelings over something like this, really, but it's made worse by the Deeper Feelings).

I was waiting for my brother to get off work at Ruby Tuesdays. I was sitting outside on a bench, watching the moon and four stars peek from behind the cloud cover; I was talking to them, as I tend to. I murmured, "Please, let J give me a sign. I'm going a little crazy. Please have her drop me a sign. And, if possible, not hurt my feelings too much."

I got home to a message from J saying, "I miss your song ♫ I miss you ♥" (I wrote her a song and performed it our last day together; I promised to record it and send it to her when I could since she wanted to listen to it as she travelled.)

It's not a lot (word-and-symbol-number-wise), but signs don't have to be; it still expresses more than I've received in a while. I feel silly about going hopeless-romantic as to ask the stars for a sign (usually I just ramble to them about my thoughts), but here I am at this juncture.

Thanks, stardust; I owe you one.

(I haven't forgotten about picspams and Rowe-posts, I just have other things to accomplish first and they're going mighty slowly. But I suppose this entry does actually offer a glimpse of my Rowe experience.)


Ah me! love can not be cured by herbs.
- Ovid
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