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Kiwi Crocus
31 May 2011 @ 03:36 am
That awkward moment when you realise that the feeling you've been looking for has been expressed and explored in one of your fics...

It was that calm inner peace and confidence in one’s ability to simply be, even if one was able to do nothing more than that.

Actually, it was less awkward and more *gapes*. I've been looking for that feeling again. When I am content with simply being - and my ability to continue being - little else rocks my boat.

With exams through, I feel more of that feeling returning every day. I'm hoping that I can step further into that by the time the 17th rolls around and I figure out once and for all what sort of degree I got. What matters is that I've got it.

Today I looked people in the eye and had fulfilling conversations despite feeling like an utter mutant. I'm a little proud. I'm remembering who I used to be - who I am.

I'm someone who is capable of being, and someone who can be at peace with that. Just that. It's always enough, and yet I am lucky to often be given so much more in life, which adds this beautiful, dynamic layer of gratitude. But my love comes from the being and acknowledging the inherent beingness of others (humans to trees to rocks).

Now that I'm headed to abstraction, I think it's about time to head to bed. Or, since I'm already here (on Dweeb's floor in his dormroom at Keele), to sleep. Night night, sweet dreams, don't let the Bed Bumblers bite!

Eyes to see
"The one person who really knows me best says I'm like a cat - the kind of cat that you just can't pick up and throw into your lap. No, the kind that doesn't mind being held, only when it's her idea; the kind that feels what she decides to feel when she is good and ready to feel it."
[Ani DiFranco; Virtue]
Current Mood: fullFull.
Kiwi Crocus
31 May 2011 @ 07:51 pm
This is mainly for you, Queenie:


P.S. I miss you!


Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
[Robin Williams]
Current Mood: blankBlank.