May 30th, 2011

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

I'm not a fan of those times that I think I'm finally getting over an illness ("Oh, is that what non-congested air feels like in my nose? Yaaay!") and something more painful comes up.

Last night I was at my brother's friends' place as they were gaming. I read a bit and online'd a bit, then dozed off on my book. I could feel my top lip and the skin between my nose and lips burning/sparking/acting up. Coldsores.

Now, lots of people just get one. A cold sore. No bug dwak (big deal), a little cream and all is good soon enough.

I turn into a mutant. I get them all over my top lip and the skin below my nose, sometimes lose parts of my bottom lip, too. I bubble up, go red and then look like a scaled mutant. It also makes expressions incredibly hard. Secondarily: Owwww. *Shakes fist.* Please stop paining my face.

I'm peeved that this happened while I am with Dweeb; he's so excited to show me around Keele and Newcastle - and I'm excited too! But it tends to be diminished by things like this.

I don't have my Viroxin, which I would normally use as soon as I felt the symptoms and the sores wouldn't fully grow. I'm not excited to use it on Wednesday evening. It kills enough at the start of the sores, but when they're grown and sensitive... Nope nope nope, not going to think about it, going to power through when I get there.

This is going to be a case study in gathering my self-esteem. I know I was lacking it before. I'm sure I can pull it together, dive in and find it... It's hard to look people in the eye when I feel like a mutant (even though I know logically that I'm not); I get the urge to run back to my leper colony or hermit hill. But I'm going to channel high school me who marched into school and explained to anyone who questioned. I'm going to look people in the eye.

And hopefully, since all my problems seem to have come up in the last two months or so, they should hopefully leave me alone come DiaCon and my journey home. (:

Thinking not floating
"Thinking is the greatest torture in the world for most people."
  • Current Mood
    sad Pained.