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Kiwi Crocus
27 May 2011 @ 02:54 am
KIWI DON'T READ THIS WHEN YOU HAVE A BRAIN. YOU'LL REGRET IT.

Hey. Hey peeps. (Not, like, marshmallows...but now I want peeps. And I don't remember what I was saying. Let me think on this.) ...not unicorns. ...not popsicles (need to never typo 'poopsicles' again, note to self). ...not the colour of my tongue.

OH RIGHT! Hey, hey peeps-who-are-not-marshmallows! Whoever stole my brain and replaced it with a Lima bean, you should be ashamed! Especially if it was me and I didn't notice. Then extra shaaaame. Now I can't stop thinking about Lima beans again, one second, reigning in in in...

Travelling! That's what I'm doing tomorrow. I'm taking the train to Swindon, where I will be picked up by my coursemate Pip and her kidlings. I have my stuff packed which means I have probably forgotten something. But Sunday I travel from Swindon to Keele to visit with my brother, so hopefully if I've forgotten anything, he has it. Or the good sense to laugh at me.

But yes. Whoever stole my brain should return it to me because it wasn't really working that well in the first place, pre-stealing. Maybe. I can't remember. I feel like I had something to say, but now I keep thinking about my toes.

My room is not clean. I get too stressed out over online fandomy things and I shouldn't do that because stress is silly. (But that logic isn't sound because lots of the things I do are silly, but I still do them. [Drat you, self, don't logic yourself into stress, you peculiar pillock!])

No, no, this has got far too silly. I'm going to go attempt sleep. If you understood any of this entry I suggest you go see a doctor.

OH WAIT BEFORE IT LEAVES - I will still be online for a reasonable amount of the time, I'm sure, so I'm not disappearing. (But you should probably wish I was!) And then when my brother and I return from Keele I will be shoving some of my belongings in a bag and sending him Stateside. That makes me sad. Not oh-now-I'm-crying sad (though I am sniffling, but unrelated). This was our English University Adventure Together Time and now it's coming to a close, because he is headed off to the Land of Hamburgers while I pack up my life in the Land of Tea and this is the last time we'll spend as university students together in England. (Because I suppose I'm not really a non-student until I graduate and wear a funny expensive gown with a silly board on my head.) Oh, humph, I have no clever way of referring to my family. I suppose I could say The Kiwi Siblings but that's weird because it's just my first name with 'siblings' attached. Crocus? No, he's not really a flowery guy. Cranky? I suppose it's the best fit at the moment. The Cranky Siblings' University Adventure Together Comes to a Close. Goodbye, Chapter. Ack, the air looks sparkly; I give up. My brother has to leave and the next time he comes back to England I won't be coming too and that's weirdbittersweet so there it is.

I should probably never read this entry again or I will feel very embarrassed. But I don't feel embarrassed enough at the thought to not post. I know, I'll leave myself a warning up at the top. (Timey-wimey spacey-wacey stuff: pretend that message wasn't there when you first read it. Especially since as I type this, it doesn't yet exist. OH MAN. Oi my brain is so not working.)

P.S. - I feel like this should have a 'this is your brain on drugs, kids' except it's more of a 'this is your brain not on drugs when it probably should be, kids'. Cold meds could quite possibly help a little. OH WELL.


Kiwi

They say goldfish have no memory; I guess their lives are much like mine and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time. And it's hard to say if they're happy but they don't seem much to mind.
[Ani DiFranco; Little Plastic Castle]
 
 
Current Mood: flirtyWHAT EVEN
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
27 May 2011 @ 06:01 pm
Pip is my mature (age-wise (; ) coursemate; I'm at hers in Swindon. Spud is her daughter - age 9, quite the writer.

Spud: [Writing.] "How do you spell 'extinct?'
Kiwi: [Spells it. ...incorrectly.]
Pip: "That, uh, doesn't sound right..."
K: "Aaaaah! Switched a c and a t! What am I doing with my life?!" [Respells it.] "The number of exams I had to write that on, and now I can't spell it..."
S: [Looks up, confused.]
K: "Spud, have you heard of exam monsters?"
S: [Shakes head.]
K: "Well you can't see exam monsters - but they come with exams. The monsters jump out of the exams and start eating parts of your brain! So then later you try to do something you've always done, like, say, tying your shoes...and suddenly you can't do it anymore!"
S: [Gasps.] "What did you exam monsters eat?!"
K: "That's the problem, you see, you can't tell until you stumble upon it. You end up doing something silly like putting your pants on your head and think, 'Now something isn't right here...'
Pip: "Pants don't go on your head...? Well, shit."
K: "That's the one thing I learned in Spain."
P: "That was a bra, Kiwi. A green bra."
K: "Yes, Spud, sometimes when I'm really, really stressed I put things on my head. I suppose it could have been a bra."
P: "It was. I was there."
K: "I can see myself with a green bra on my head. Oh, Spain..."


Later:
Spud: "I think something has driven the old ladies crazy."
Pip: "Did you just call me old?!"
Kiwi: [Giggles.] "I'm ancient as an oak *."
P: "And did you just call Kiwi a lady?"
Kiwi: [Dies laughing.]

* = Spud and I were previously discussing what kind of trees we would be. We both settled on oaks. I wanted to throw acorns at people; she wanted to have leaves with her faces. (She mentioned bugs that attempted to eat her, and I told her if her leaves have faces, she could probably eat the bugs first!)


Kiwi
Sail Escapism Seas.
n. A mental diversion to retreat from unpleasant realities through fantasy.
 
 
Current Mood: sillySilly.