April 17th, 2011

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

Spent a bit of time today drawing Lark for the femslash_land picture challenge (#16). I didn't get to spend as much time on her as Rosethorn so the things I've noticed I haven't really fixed, but I'm pleased enough, so that's that. (:

General Warning (as before): I am not an artist. I just faff about with various utensils and hope that whatever comes out doesn't make my eyes bleed. Please be gentle with me!

Fandom: Tamora Pierce's Emelan universe. Lark/Rosethorn.

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    hungry Hungry.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

So. I fractured my hip seven years ago today. One second slide tackle, ball off and away up field...next second gee, ground, why are you holding me down?

I don't feel too torn up about it, at the moment, but then my brain is known for hiding things until I can deal with them.

I want to post things, but they keep coming out all emo and froppy-frowny. I want to post happy things, like how it's sunny and how I'm alive and how I'm a person worthy of love and respect but none of them seem to have much weight in my life at the moment and it's annoying.

Ebullience is fun. Being a naturally ebullient person so far away from that sensation is not.

I suppose I will say instead, then, that my sleep schedule is entirely whack. I didn't sleep Friday night because I was drinking and writing HP fanfic for hpdrunkfic. I stayed up to make sure others had company during their writing. I went to sleep from 11am - 8pm Saturday. Then I slept from 3am - 10am Saturday night, so now it's Sunday, half past noon, and I'm awake when I usually wouldn't be - which is nice.

Sleep doesn't feel very nice, though. I seem to wake up after every cycle, but I don't want to turn to look at the clock because then I'll be completely awake and have more difficulty going back to sleep if it hasn't been long enough...so I often over-sleep, but sometimes I under-sleep. Regardless it doesn't feel very relaxing. I am having ridiculous dreams that somehow all seem related to exams no matter how unrelated they appear - it's that 'dream feeling', like when a person looks nothing like the person IRL but you just know it is.

I can feel my prickly pear persona is still here which means something below it isn't stable, but I can't seem to source it. Or maybe it really is just the mixture of exams-graduation-leavingEngland and I'm afraid of harsh self-judgement so I'm not admitting it. I appear to be in a Slump Funk, with occasional Peaks in which I can almost remember what a cloudless sky feels like, beyond the bumps and trumps of Slumpland, Funk Country.

What I should do: Shower, eat, clean my room (wouldn't take long), meditate, jot things down in my written journal, read a chapter in a book, revise, listen to music, get grounded, be sane.

What I am doing: Having a day full of sighs.

Oh, bother. I feel 16 again. Excuse me, when did I ask for that?!


They say goldfish have no memory; I guess their lives are much like mine and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time. And it's hard to say if they're happy but they don't seem much to mind.
[Ani DiFranco; Little Plastic Castle]
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    sore Sore.