February 18th, 2011

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

The 18th:

  • Dissertation meetings will always frighten me. It went alright. I have to work at separating my information into introduction, results, discussion better (which is tricky for me since usually it's easy for me - "oh, numbers, lemme throw you in results" but not many numbers in a literature-based project). He thinks I'm doing alright. He doesn't care how long it is. Nick-the-supervisor thinks I will break any moment which isn't too far from the truth, especially when he can read on my face at my entrance that I am not doing well.
  • My next draft deadline is the 1st, when Clover is here; the post-draft meeting is the 3rd, when Clover is here. Dissertation would be overwhelming enough but I'm annoyed because I'm going to have to be working so much and this is Clover's sort of 'once-in-a-lifetime' independent trip to see England/London...and I don't want to be my stressmonster, can't-go-out-much self.
  • Skipping lectures with friends is way more fun - even if it's to rehearse a presentation for another class. (Scolds: bad Kiwi.) Much of the meeting was ranting about our various dissertations and/or supervisor.
  • Handing in a bad essay feels shoddy. Having a shoddy essay returned feels bad. So I did pull a 63 (B), but...it was bad, when first year I got the knack for Duncan's writing and could get up to 80s (A+). I clearly forgot his anal-retentive marking style (not that I blame him for the mark; it was a bad essay). I'm surprised I did as well as I did, to be honest. But the way he comments just...urgh, it makes me want to decimate pillows.
  • Instead of crying for three hours like I wanted to, I made myself do something creative - so ukulele! Then finished up my uni work by making notecards for tomorrow's presentation. Then faffage on the Internet.
  • Grey's Anatomy made me grin like a dork. Now I'm caught up so I can watch tonight's episode with Hayls (friend) on Saturday.
  • Sent Bahar a message asking if she does nude photography. I've had the idea since the beginning of the year that I'd like to get nude photos taken every year around my birthday from now on, to have sort of a portfolio of how my body ages. (I wish I had had the idea at 14 - would have been interesting watching it through my fracture and operations.) I keep forgetting that my birthday is coming up. I'm not sure if Bahar does anything like it, but since I'm not looking for someone professional (hah! as if I have money!), I think she'll know someone I can put some trust in.
  • Nutella/spoon(/apple), one of my OTP(3)s, can always make things a little bit better. And it's better to share, as I learned in preschool. *Tilts jar toward magnetic_pole.* (Icon = another OTP. No, I generally don't respect numbers enough to limit myself to them.)
  • It's nearly 12.30am and I wanted to be asleep by 11pm. But my outfit for tomorrow is laid out and will look nice, so that's an achievement. I've always been crap at making my bedtimes - it's why I love naps. (:
  • I made it through today. Making it through days is good. And for a little schadenfreude, at least I'm not Mark and haven't got a 1500-word report to write for tomorrow. (; </mean>

Oh! A girl I knew from high school who was a freshman when I was a junior is now pregnant. So she's my brother's age and got pregnant in November of her freshman year of college. Combine that with my best childhood church friend (I use church loosely here) Quackie being pregnant and, yeah, I'm shocked. Quacks is a month and a bit younger than I am and she's quite pregnant. I haven't even had sex yet. I see that I am very much living at a different pace.

And for a random quote - Yoko Ono on Janis: “Janis had the friendly warm smile that is so rare and she gave them to everyone so freely.”

I want someone to give me smiling lessons.


Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.
[Rachel Carson]
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