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Kiwi Crocus
16 January 2011 @ 04:47 am
This may be one of the first times in a long while that I've travelled without leaving an "I'm travelling!" message.

I'm back in Reading now; I've been here since this morning. So. Yup. Here. Can't resist the inevitable anymore.

But, uh, I'm not doing so hot? Trying to hold it all together. Had some really nice moments; everything just feels heavy. Think I need to spend more time gazing out at the sky and Knowing and Feeling that it is a shared vast sky and space, and it will be my sky (with some changes) when I'm 25, and I will get to that place and time.

In the last few days I have: (i) seen an old friend I hadn't seen in far too long (hey Ori! ♥); (ii) picked up and (hopefully) got over a stomach bug, although that 'just over an illness' feeling hasn't left yet; (iii) said goodbye to one of my best friends in the world (and her cat) while in possession of a stomach bug, meaning going from 'peacefully napping' with her playing Pandemic to 'well acquainted with the porcelain throne' in less than a minute; (iv) had an ill-shaky pug; (v) packed while my mother dozed in my bed; (vi) slept in bed with my mother and pug on my last night Stateside for a long while; (vii) cried a lot and thought 'stone stone stone' to halt some crying over saying goodbye to everyone/place; (viii) gone to Barnes & Noble with my father to get a journal (which I love); (ix) made it through the airport and flying despite many things being uncomfortable/difficult; (x) oh right started my moon time the day of travel; (xi) felt ill and sick and sad and raw and stressed and stretched; (xii) not cared if this numbering was actually done right as it's 4.42am & I'm jetlagged trying to turn my brain off.

On the docket for tomorrow: (i) sleep until my body stops sleeping; (ii) unpack/set up/clean my room; (iii) maybe grab some groceries (but I should be fine for another few days); (iv) check Blackboard for all my courses and settle into being a better student; (v) write my Environmental Management essay (1250/3000 words done).

I realised today how much I miss sleeping with people, in the simplest and most innocent sense of the world. I love that in America. I wish I had more people to do it with here. It makes my worries seem smaller and more shared, somehow; I feel less alone; I feel safer and loved.


You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart.
Current Mood: sadSad.
Kiwi Crocus
16 January 2011 @ 11:27 pm
When I was at home, my mother asked my father why he hadn't done something and he responded immediately, "I was going to do it tomorrow!"

And my father has the right of it: The modern term comes from the Latin word procrastinatus, which is the past participle of procrastinare derived from pro- (forward) and crastinus (of tomorrow, "to make for tomorrow".

I realised that was at the root of my problem. No, I don't blame my father (or my mother, for she procrastinates too). I merely realised...it runs in the family. (My brother just over-procrastinated on an exam; thankfully I hardly ever [and can't recall the last time I did] over-procrastinate, merely cut it right to the line like the dare-devil or lazy-liver I am.)

During my elongated break (which I am still on, and may or may not be procrastination), I decided to do a little research. (You know, research of something completely unrelated to what one should be doing, as procrastinators do...).

The person who wrote this Wiki article and the people who are mentioned in it seem a little uninformed.

Schraw, Pinard, Wadkins, and Olafson have proposed three criteria for a behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.

Delaying, I'll go for - that's the whole point, really. Needless...maybe, for instance my research on procrastination; it has not real need. Counterproductive, though? Perhaps to the task at hand, but I would like to know how cleaning your kitchen or hoovering your stairs or unpacking or rearranging your bookshelf could truly be called counterproductive, objectively.

Apparently I am an egodystonic perfectionist tense-afraid (sometimes relaxed instead) procrastinator. Isn't that fascinating!

And here we go, I'm normal: More specifically, a 1992 study showed that "52% of surveyed students indicated having a moderate to high need for help concerning procrastination". It is estimated that 80%–95% of college students engage in procrastination, approximately 75% considering themselves procrastinators. (; "Student syndrome" refers to the phenomenon where a student will only begin to fully apply themselves to a task immediately before a deadline. ...Students also have difficulties when self-imposing deadlines. Really, now? I hadn't noticed. :Þ And since Mark-the-Housemate is also in my room at 4.20am writing (or whinging over) an essay, I'll just assume he hadn't noticed, either. :B

This was a pretty fun article, too.

Essay due in a little under 12 hours. 2000/2700-3000 words. Paragraphs in all but one section. Only three sources and my brain (that being the most fail-tastic part, but will be fixed eventually...) Totally doable.

What do you all do to procrastinate? What are your little tricks? I drink lots of water (...if I drank as much water as I do when I'm procrastinating/working, I'd be much healthier), take breaks for 10-minute blocks of television, take lots of bathroom breaks (see first point), flail around a lot, chat with people and reward myself with chocolate when I'm finished. In earlier stages I also do productive things like clean, unpack, organise and do unrelated work. What are your secrets?

And here, have a cookie.

[Appropriate icon is appropriate. I note, for the record, that if I had to write a paper on procrastination, I would be researching unicorns.]


You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart.
Current Mood: nostalgicProcrastinatory.