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Kiwi Crocus
23 September 2010 @ 04:26 am
Made it to the Land of Tea! Did not sleep on the flight - full moon flights are strange. Watched the Simpsons, Miranda, Glee, 30 Rock and Sex in the City 2. Some music and speaking with my brother, beginning with, "When you were younger could you really have imagined both of us on a plane to England for university?"

Presently on the RailAir coach to Reading from Heathrow - thank goodness for free WiFi! It is grey and rainy, so I'm pleased to be back in my English weather. (: Strange to have left a sunny New England autumn day for it, though.

Can't wait to get home and have my luggage upstairs (note: not excited to BRING the luggage upstairs). Then jammies and a nap, probably, before unpacking. Dweeb and I have today to chill. Tomorrow Uncle Malcolm comes; Saturday they both leave. (heartsways, I'll try to send a message later when I know more about plans. Plans with my family are difficult.)

Get to catch up on Cougar Town, then Big Bang Theory, Grey's and Private Practice premiere tonight. Yay! TV! I can pretend I have no stress in my life!

Just one taxi ride between me and home, after I get off the coach and lug my baggage. Where is that fast-forward button for life again?
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
23 September 2010 @ 11:40 am
Progression:

1) Kiwi enters the house to find it completely quiet with no one awake. Not entirely surprised, she and her brother carry in the baggage. There is a dead spider on her bed. Her room reminds her of work, deadlines and feeling trapped. The fear sets in.

2) During the process of lugging the baggage upstairs, Kiwi inspects the kitchen/living room to find it completely different. She doesn't feel homey or comfortable. All her belongings are gone from her cupboard and upon searching the kitchen three different times, she cannot find her stuff. Her fridge space is gone. She doesn't know a number of people in the house and fears her relationships with the others are rocky. The sadness seeps in.

3) Kiwi's brother leaves to pick up some food. Kiwi's strong face crumbles and she spends the length of his absence feeling like a three year old for crying the whole time and moaning about wanting to go home. The reality of the fear and sadness erupt.

4) Kiwi takes out her Netbook. She beats herself up because she has stupidly left her power cord back home, but she does have her laptop with her, so all is not lost and her mother will send the cord. Kiwi IMs with people, including her mother. She remembers that she can get through and that life isn't about others' opinions of her. Sense steps in.

5) Kiwi comes to the conclusion that she is perpetually swinging between these steps. It is an exhausting cycle. She hopes she has the strength and serenity of mind to see it, stall it and stop it.