August 1st, 2010

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

My to-do list is super fantastically long. It has reached a second page. My goodness.

I have a little guitar now. She is a half-sized guitar, so she actually fits, yay! I've been strumming a bit and am both delighted and excited for future learning. I have been wanting to learn guitar forever but even the 3/4ths was too big. She has a Mass Equality sticker and a 'music makes you smarter' sticker from elementary school. Makes me smile. No name yet - searching out a perfect name for the situations from which she arose.

Cabbit played a twin in the Repo! shadow cast because the original cast member's grandfather broke an ankle tumbling down a flight of stairs, or something. She lost her waffle but was also mega elated; she performed very well and it was generally a joyifying experience. (Please pardon my use of words/terms that don't exist; I am presently feeling limited by the English language.)

Stayed at Cabbit's last night. It was beautiful. I slept. They left for rehearsal. I read Zephyr's screenplay of Toxic Teen Lesbian Zombie Vampire Chainsaw Bitches from Outer Space 3. I then read How to Live with a Huge Penis, or something of the sort. I went to re-read an entertaining section and fell asleep with it on my nose. It was photographed (another in a long line of Kiwi-falls-asleep-in-embarrassing-ways collection) and sent to Nolly Morris.

Getting myself in the habit of LJ again. May post on previous events at some other point. My life is busy. My Stony Brook stay-over was successful.

My dog is displeased with the lights remaining on. That means it's off to bed with me. Tomorrow I have a bajillion-impossitillian things to do including write a fanfiction. Deadlines? HAH - I laugh in the face of your deadlines. Well, until they slap me in the face. Then I wince, feel ashamed and...cackle.

Huffle huffle, snort snort, glare. Yes, Muggzzey, I'm coming! Hold your horses! (And your breath. Please, dog, I love you dearly, but that mouth of yours carries the stench of cesspits...)
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Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

So far today I have failed to get dressed, failed to clean my room and failed to write a fanfic. I have instead read one of kellychambliss' stories. Hermione's POV. Got to me much more than I expected.

In the middle, I was downstairs nibbling a little breakfast. Mum and Da found themselves in the kitchen too. (Even after Mum's, "Kiwi! What are you doing up! It's 10 o'clock! You clearly aren't a teenager anymore. Your father and I are still sleeping. We are teenagers.") Dweeb came down to drink some chocolate milk before heading off to work at Ruby Tuesday's.

We were all in the same room. That hasn't happened in ages. So, naturally, we all made fun of each other and whinged. It was fun.

Kelly's story made me cry. The state of my room - and the juxtaposition of my mind's template for this 'new room' I want layered over the reality - makes me groan.

I was happy until my mother told me a few moments ago that I've gained weight since my Solstice visit. I hate being the sort of girl who cares, except that I always care, because since my injury and operations I have always felt too fleshy. I hate when people tell me I've lost weight, gained weight, anything-weight...I hate that I have a weight, and that it might fluctuate, and that people might care.

That and I'm not sure I agree, or that if I do agree, I'm frustrated...because I wasn't any more active before winter-time. I walked to and from campus, yes...but presently I work at a nature camp where I am out walking every day. Perhaps I was starving myself then. Heck if I know.

Poppy's pants, am I a moody little one today. My mother wants me to go to the shops and CVS for supplies and food for camp. I need to get out of this mood and into the next one.

This morning, I felt young and curvaceous-but-fit and right. Right now I feel too old for my age and fat and wrong. Wow, world, I'm glad to know you're so objective today. Subjective sucks, science says. Kiwi agrees. Sod off, delusional reality!

laskfdlkafdlkafd summer frustration. I need to spend more time naked, and less time listening to my ridiculous little mind. Even less time offering ears to others. Who cares about descriptive labels that may or may not apply to my body, if I like it anyway?
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