April 29th, 2010

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

Well. I really do have two exams tomorrow. 24 hours from now I will be in my second exam.

I haven't had a panic attack. That's progress. I've had two sessions of tears, but they were just frustrated and sad - exams aren't enjoyable, so the idea of going in for two of them tomorrow is plainly not nice. Mainly tears of 'I really don't want to do this again.' Big improvement on last year when I was hyperventilating, being sent to the head of halls and then getting checked on every day by the cleaning ladies, eh? :P

I've made it through all the lecture materials for the two courses. Do I remember it as well as I want to? No. Will I do spectacularly on these exams? No. Have I done all the revision I want to do? No. But I've done my best with the little time offered - I've been revising straight on since Monday morning, pretty much.

It's only 2pm so I'm going to keep going through stuff and gazing at extra reading. First I'm going to go downstairs and make some pasta so I have lunch and dinner all set.

No idea what's going on for the Environment in Practice group writeup. I mentioned a possible extension on the extenuating circumstances form and got an email asking what the best dates were. I sent them along. I was emailing back and forth with Simon and he mentioned being 'notified of my extenuating circumstances' but made no mention of what they were, nor did the office. I sent him an email in response two days ago expressing that I didn't know if I had the extension, but either way I would be waiting the extra week to give it in even if meant losing 10% and that yes, I would love to meet with him to go over stats and where I'm going wrong. I figure losing 10% on one Enviro in Practice assignment isn't the worst that can happen - I have an A average for the other 55% of the course and I think I did reasonably on my River Cole assignment, so I should be able to pull through with a pretty good mark in the course.

Working very hard not to be overwhelmed. All I have to do is get through tomorrow and none of my days will be quite so stressful in another long while. Well, today too - in a way spending whole days revising for exams and wondering what will be on them is worse than spending the 1.5hours in the room with the questions there on the desk.

Point of amusement: The exam that reminds me most of Harry Potter (Introduction to the History and Philosophy of Science, which mentions the Philosopher's Stone) is happening in the place that reminds me most of Harry Potter - the Great Hall on London Campus. Hopefully when I'm in there I'll remember singing Christmas carols in there and it'll keep me calm.

I have to think of a really great gift for myself for if I get through all this without an anxiety attack! I'll be the first time since I was 15 - half a decade - for getting through difficult school stuff without completely breaking down. Hope I can do it! I feel so much saner than I ever have with school stuff.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

This may be the first time ever I'm getting the proper amount of sleep before a test. Can't remember it happening since elementary school.

Was feeling confident about animal behaviour, then read Sibly's hopes for our essays. Ack whatever I give up - I can't remember THAT MUCH about 40 different case studies, I'm sorry.

Less confident about History & Philosophy of Science.

Wish I could be like Batgirl, feeling quite confident, or CJ, feeling confident to watch Kung Fu Panda before going to sleep. Maybe it's because I have 2 exams. I think it may be that.

At least tomorrow evening I'll be alive, the world will still be going on and I'll be able to watch Grey's Anatomy. Ah, it's the small things in life.

(But it doesn't help my feeling that I'm going to die tomorrow.)

G'night, my loves. ♥