March 8th, 2010

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

[. leave it all to me, i will do the right thing, i'll be everything i need .]

[-] My sleep last night was terrible, as was it the night before. I keep having dissertation nightmares. The latest: Mark (personal tutor) and I were driving through the desert. I can't drive stick shift (something I can't do and have to learn) and I'm reasonably afraid of the desert/sun (something I have to stick through). We were chatting about dissertation and then a Dune worm popped up and tried to eat us. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to write my dissertation; Mark was terrified. When it missed, he was thrilled. We drove away to Susan Werner's "Love Doesn't Care" and I woke up damning the Dune worm for making me write my dissertation.
([+] At least I'm still completely bonkers...?)
[+] Woke up for today, beautiful shower, dressed up as a Victorian Teacher/Mary Poppins/World War II lady (opinions of friends/personal tutor). Made it to lecture on time and stayed awake.
[+] Was given chocolate (M&Ms) in practical for pretending to be a bird. Set up a meeting for that day with Mark.
[+] Spoke with Career Advisory Services about writingup my CV, getting it checked over, delivering it places and different organisations to go through.
[+] Went to Whiteknights House and then Carrington again to sort out the finances - the woman told me not to worry; they have to send the threatening emails out. My loan should come before the end of term and it'll be alright.
[+] Got some initial outlining on the three lab reports for Birds done. Mum and Jo figured out plane tickets. JO IS VISITING ME FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY!!! WIN! We're going to Maine and having a blast and win win win!
[+] Meeting with Mark went well. He confirmed that I could handle the projects I selected, even though he wouldn't suggest them for most students. They're very heavy in the reading, heavy thinking/analysing and writing departments. Not experimental. He thought I was perfect for it, after he asked where I wanted to go after Uni and I answered, "Not straight into a White Lab Coat. Into a strange life position, no doubt with writing and some science and some other stuff." We chatted for an hour and it was beautiful. I felt assured upon leaving that though I was crazy, it was Eccentrically Mad Crazy and not Bad Crazy.
[+] I caught up on livejournal/leisure.
[-] I didn't get any further work done on my labs.
[-] It's 9.30 and I wanted to be home by 8.30. I won't be home 'til tops 10, and probably later. But then food...
[+] Don't have lecture until 1.30 tomorrow
[-] but it's a field trip, which will be difficult. I'll make it through.
[-] Not having a laptop hit me harder today. I think it's hitting me that I miss my late-night Skypes with my sister, and Skypes with other people, and just late-night reassurance when all my American friends are awake. And the comfort of working while snuggled up on the sofa, my friends cooking around me or as we're watching a film. At this point my lap isn't even yearning for Aspen - I'm so fed up with all the problems that Tinboy's little netbook feels just as right. If anything, more-so. It's so easy to move around, upstairs, downstairs, on campus, off campus. With an external hard-drive and the monitor he has in his room, it's just right.
[-] With disssertation right around the corner (we have to get our top four titles with supervisor signatures in by Week 10 so the 19th; our title back by Week 1 Summer Term; literature review due Week 10 summer term), I don't know when the right time to get a netbook is. I really think I'll want one for dissertation work - to bring it on campus and back without it being a big hassle, as it is for Aspen between her size and my paranoia. I am so delicate with her. And now, of course, she doesn't work at all and Tinboy and I are still trying to fix her. I don't want to be ungrateful for the time and effort put into Aspen (so much of Da's break time with me and $340--thankfully reimbursed--for a new hard-drive), but I don't think she'll cut it for dissertation work. As an extra screen, or to play DVDs to keep me sane, and occasional Skyping/leisure if we get her working again, but not for portable use.

Blech. But really, though, I am happy. I'm just a bit down to not have a laptop to curl up with for late-night couch working, sister talks and friend/family chats. Headache, tired, frightened, not excited for the walk home. But I'll be fine when I'm home with my book. I'll always make on through. Mark told me I'm a trooper.

Well, then, I'll just have to keep on trooping, won't I? Since I'm not bad, considering.
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