January 21st, 2010

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

[-] I felt like the minute I finally fell deep into sleep ('Ah, this feels comfortable, I'm right at home') and was also dreaming of home, I woke up...exhausted.
[-] The first thing I saw when I really woke up was that my state went red. Knowing my mother and countless other loved ones probably went to sleep crying was not a pleasant feeling. Remembering the story of my loved ones from high school about Scott Brown visiting them at school and harassing them, making my friend cry... not a nice feeling, not at all. He is not a nice man. He is the exact opposite of everything that Ted Kennedy worked so hard for in his life, all these things close to my heart... and now that Ted's gone, he's replaced by someone who will work to reverse all his work. It's heartbreaking.
[-] Walked in the rain to campus, crying about Ted Kennedy and Scott Brown.
[-] Lecture was incredibly boring.
[-] Practical was watching a Finch falling asleep on camera for 45 minutes. Really, really? Rest of practical was calculating how much time it spent drowsy and how much time it spent, essentially, moving its head. Perhaps this would have been fascinating to me another day.
[+] Went to Palmer and ranted/cried with Gargret. Saved journal papers to my mem. stick. Chatted with my brother. Felt bad for ranting on FB; think I'll lose friends over it. I do still respect republicans. I don't have to agree with everyone. This one was just personal. He was from my town. We disliked him as a person as much or more than as a politician--it's hard to extract the two, especially when we don't agree with the core politics to begin with. Just augh.
[+] Went to Meditation Society. It wasn't precisely what I needed, but it was good. I enjoyed it.
[+] Got a ride home from Dave and Nadia. Called the bank about my pin number, then Microsoft about Office, which is all set and registered. Was told I have impeccable Englsih. Made jacket sweet potato.
[-] Jujubean called someone a 'big gay' and that no one liked him and I said something along the lines of, jokingly, "Well that's not why I dislike him, but yup, I dislike him!" "Gay as in bad," she told me. I looked at her, summing up in a look that she was beyond tipsy and able to face more confrontational conversation--that I wasn't. She added, "Gay has three definitions. Merry and happy, bad and homosexual." I stared at her. I stared at the screen. I shut my mouth. I mumbled something about getting back to work and left to go back upstairs. I couldn't even believe she had had the audacity to say that to me, even if she thought it was true... It's my identity. Anyone else in the house just apologises. She tried to justify her use of the term when it obviously hurts me. I yield presently, because I just can't do it. It was too draining in high school to keep the groups of people around me from saying it in case someone was closeted and needed the comfort. I don't have the energy to keep that guard up in my own house. I almost brought up that my own mother had wondered if a gay person could end up in the house, because it's that evident that I need that part of my life again. I really need to get to the Granby Saturday night, start making some gay friends.
[+] Mamma Mia! was playing during one of my breaks when I went down to have a spoonful of Nutella. I cried during the mother-daughter song again. Watched to the end. Jujubean and I connected a little, but it will take me time to forgive.
[+] I worked well this evening. 3/10 journal papers (should have done more, but that's what I got to and I'm happy). 740 words/1500. Methods pretty much done, just some checking to do. Introduction has some good information. Need to do results, which is less words and more data representation.
[+] Listened to the Harry Potter soundtrack all evening and loved it.
[+] Wrote a poem about Floyd (Kristy's dog, one of my favourite dogs growing up) when memories of him were floating around my head. That was after I saw Noralee's status updates and commented with her for a little while.

I'm tired. I'm impressed that I'll probably get somewhere near 7 hours of sleep, if I can get to sleep on time. Lecture at 2 p.m. tomorrow. Intro to Entomology, then practical. Augh. Then back to work on this; maybe I'll get it done before 2 a.m. and watch live-stream Grey's. Otherwise I'll probably save Grey's for Friday as a treat before my death-sleep and try to get out Saturday night.
  • Current Music
    Voldemort - HP GoF