November 5th, 2009

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

I am not a pleased puppy.

I had a really strange, eerie, kind of gross dream last night. I don't remember where I was or with whom but it had to do with moving around a lot and picking up people from a motel-like-place that had dolphins. I also know that my leg had been cut into and my fibula removed (uhm, you kind of can't do that a second time in the same leg...) and hadn't been closed up right. I was trying to get SOMEONE to help me close it up so I could get to a doctor, and then even a doctor said it was fine despite that I told him, "Look, if I let go right now my leg will open and you will see where I DON'T have a fibula! Can you PLEASE give me at least some staples? I'll do it myself if I have to!"

I woke up to my 7.30 alarm and felt so terrible. I changed it back what I thought would be a half hour to skip my shower, knowing I could do it tonight.

I woke up again feeling a tiny bit better. Stretched put on clothing, turned on the computer, expecting to see maybe 8.20.

It told me the time was 8.40, the time I should be leaving. I ran to my phone. 8.45 (I keep it five minutes fast). There was no way I could finish getting ready, go downstairs and eat and ride into uni in time without hurting myself. I don't show up to lectures late. I haven't once and I won't do it.

I texted Jojo and asked her to grab me the papers and text me when break is, that I'll bike in and sneak in during break. Won't be causing any trouble then.

I am just incredibly not pleased. This has never happened to me before and yes, I'm sure it does happen to everyone eventually, I am just not happy with it. Especially in combination with my general student attitude lately. I've been going to all the lectures, yes, but if they're teaching me stuff I already know and they're boring I will let myself snooze and not pay attention. Not even putting the effort in to stay awake and pay attention. Sure last year I didn't always make it (snoozing during Living Hell and Genes & Chromosomes, skipping Humans & the Changing World because we didn't learn anything) but I always tried.

I really need to take a deep breath and not beat myself up over this. I am not a bad student. The fact that I CARE that I'm missing lecture right now (13 minutes in) means I am not a bad student. I'm just disappointed, and I feel weird about my stupid silly dream, and I would like it to be 1.30, when I am home and showering and getting in PJs for work and fun.

It's raining. Laughs, oh, my, that just seems hilarious in that lovely sarcastic way. I'm writing an angsty livejournal entry, I have to bike into campus and it started raining. This is just too funny! Alright, smiles, it makes me feel better.

Heading downstairs for some breakfast so I can leave for uni and sit around reading 'til Jojo texts me that it's break time. Then time for stats, yay, and History and Philosophy of Science.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed Disappointed.