September 17th, 2009

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

I'm thinking of things I have to do. As I watch Donnie Darko at 12.30.

1) Draw a bunch of animals by tomorrow to give to Grammie for her quilt. (Cat, Dog, Giraffe, Camel, Unicorn, Elephant, Wolf, Snail, Horse, Tortoise, Penguin, Dragon, Fish, I don't know, random animals.)
2) Clean my upstairs room for Cathy, by tomorrow night.
3) Go to lunch (Chinese) with Grammie tomorrow afternoon at 2.
4) Sort out how to get to Pam's house, sort the time to leave, leave tomorrow evening.
5) Figure out if I'm sleeping over Dana's house, figure out where she lives, etc.
6) Come home and leave for Smith.
7) Write the fanfic for the 20th somehow--think of a prompt, something.
8) Do my laundry.
9) Email Duffie.
10) Write marriage fanfic for team Firefly.

And loads of stuff I'm definitely forgetting. I need to go back to keeping a TDL. Time feels as though it's going quickly.

Mary McDonnell's face keeps me sane. How does that one work out?

Back to drawing animals.
  • Current Mood
    stressed Overwhelmed.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

I drew animals. Cat, dog, snail, giraffe, tortoise, llama, penguin, unicorn, fish. Random animals, taken from a status update I made on Facebook. (And I fully intended to do a unicorn, and there will be two of them, because that's the way Kiwistories go.) I hope my grandmother will be pleased. I'm glad someone finally got around to doing them, because she's been asking for a decade and I think she asked me before when I was young...but I'm glad it waited until now, even though I'm tired.

I also watched "For All Time" clips with Mary McDonnell--basically any part she was in, given that's what I would care about.

Aaaand I realised I feel pretty darn screwed.

I was watching and admiring. Her acting, her character selection, her characterisation, her way of being, her inflection. It's never just the characters for me.

Anyway, it got to the point where they finally kiss. There's the slow and graceful head tilt and near-nuzzle, kiss to the cheek, gentle turn and press into passion. I've seen it a hundred times. I've marked each minuscule motion a hundred times, witnessed the slight differences that my favourite actresses will provide.

And oh my, I heated. I was confused at first. I understood the heart beat, I could comprehend the heat to my face...but there was heat through all of my belly, my mind went beautifully dizzy for a moment and a tingling sensation took over my knees. I noticed an increase in breath and thought, "Oh no," as I counted each symptom and used them as evidence.

My conclusion is that I'm an itty-bit screwed. Because yes, crushes are lovely, warmth is wonderful, etc... My first actual inkling of romantic feelings, for an actress on a screen? Now, not unusual, again, I've marked the behaviour in many before me.

However, I am repeatedly drawn to these women like Mary McDonnell. I can mark them through my history. Real life, Internet, television, interviews, everywhere.

And if I were ever to feel capable of even ATTEMPTING to flag the attention of one of these amazing, intelligent, beautiful women I would feel that I had to be a woman of Mary's calibre.

...and when is THAT going to happen?

Laughter, well, I'll make do. It was at least pleasant to feel a romantic stirring again, especially one so strong. I can understand why crushes revitalise people, give them a new sense of excitement. Now I suppose I'll be waiting for those butterflies to grace me without a screen present. But there's no hurry, I'm a patient young woman. ;)
  • Current Mood
    surprised Surprised.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

I love how making plans with my grandmother means I have to call and remind of the plans she totally forgot, but pretend that we're making the plans then instead of just revising plans forgotten overnight.

I hope I'm senile like her some day. :)

And I'm already bad with the remembering-plans (although my memory stretches more than one evening), so it seems I'm well on my way!
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

I'm leaving, I'm late, my mother's peeved at me, I'm a wreck, but I am so going to get myself together.

Off to Pam's and possibly Dana's.