July 4th, 2009

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

[. Spiders .]

It is 4 a.m. I am still awake. I need to be awake in an hour to throw my shite in the car.

I am awake partially because I am still writing. I am awake partially because I'm am somewhat watching videos.

I am also awake because I am afraid to be sleeping. On the left side of my bed a long-legged, slow-moving spider walked out from behind my bookshelf onto my sleeping area dragging an egg sack. I put it back behind when it went on my book.

On my right side one of the dark, fast-moving short spiders is currently adventuring over my stuffies. I don't have it in me to go for it.

Sometimes I can deal with spiders. In daytime, when I'm happy, when I'm not in my bed.

Right now I cannot. It's night, I've been in my dark place all day, I am in my sacred space--my bed.

It's no wonder I want to scrub my room down from top to bottom and figure out getting a fan so I don't have to keep my window wide open all day and night.

I also have moths constantly flying into my face. I should do alright with all of this. I'm an ecologist, for green's sake. I've touched hundreds of insects at this point. It's not going to be much better in Maine.

But this is my sacred space. This is my head, this is my bed. Inside I'm being attacked by deamons and I'm trying to stay positive. Outside I'm being attacked by insects. This is supposed to be sacred.

  • Current Mood
    scared Scared.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

[. Three Days Late .]

We are finally getting ready to leave. It is 5.50. Mum planned to be out of the house by 5 a.m.

Did I mention we were supposed to leave Thursday?

When I say my family lives late, some people don't understand. My family lives LATE.

As I was typing this a spider ran over my arm and I screamed and flung it. I am sorry, Sibling Spider, I didn't mean to scare you.

I am so ready to be done with this. Packing up my laptop to go in my bag full of books.

Wet dog has also just been rubbed all over my bed. I keep looking around suspiciously.

I am going to try to sleep through all of the ride to Maine, with my trusty music.
  • Current Mood
    cranky Cranky.