May 30th, 2009

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Night Out

Hmm. Chemistry. I ended up doing well with the revision. Hayls came in and I pointed to maths stuff. "Explain!" all gentle. It's funny how I can stare at maths for an eternity but my brain has closed itself off to the subject, yet if someone comes in and opens it up gently it'll acquiesce and take in the maths. We didn't get to concentrations and dilutions 'cause she hadn't done them for a while.

Went in for the exams. When Batgirl and I got up the stairs in Palmer we both said, "Chemistry. F*** my life" at the very same time. It was hilarious. Put us in high spirits.

I think it went well. I answered every question 'cause it was a paper exam and we don't get negative marking, but I know quite a bit of it's wrong. The concentration and dilutions bit definitely. If I got all the marks I'm reasonably confident with I'll get a 66, but I doubt that, so hopefully I'll get up to a 60.

Getting myself to revise for ecology was a disaster. I just woke up in the morning and read through my stuff. I knew all the concepts anyway, it was just remembering the facts.

Hung out with Batgirl outside Palmer for a while. Ellen joined. Jojo joined. Went over with Pip, Emma and Jojo. Pip held her hands like she was holding a frog and told me to take it. I expected something strange. I screamed when it was beads, because it was so normal. If it had been a slimy worm I would have been more prepared. We laughed. It was a really neat green and orange beaded necklace that she had made a long time ago but never worn. UV-light too.

I hid from the sun by hiding behind them. Hate the sun and how I feel sick/burning in it. They laughed.

Went in. Looked through the paper, smiled. The first page had ridiculous questions but I knew all of them toward the end. It was a doss for me because my mind remembers facts well. I can see it being a nightmare for my friends. It included the Latin names and the names of the people who had the ecology rules (Rapoport's rule, Hanski's rule, etc.) and my mind was able to point them out. Sometimes I don't even remember the words, just the shape of the words. But because it was a MCQ exam I knew it was acceptable to leave my understanding at that.

Hung around outside on the Green with the circus society for a while, then came back to retrieve an umbrella because it was just too sunny for me. Then I went back. We hung around until half five or so. Pirate was a prick and Batgirl ended up leaving. I took up some of the stuff--I twirled around one of the stick things the way I taught myself to with my cane, especially after I saw Watsonii do some of the moves (she used to do colour guard). I never knew it was anything special. Everyone was really impressed that I could do "hand rolls" well. I did the defence thing Acer taught me junior year, for some martial art or another. Someone asked if I could juggle and apparently I can a lot better than I thought I could. They had me try out one of the balance mover things--just two pedals that we stand on and alternate weight back and forth on the legs to move. I picked it up quickly and decided I wanted to go backwards instead. It made me giggle. Other people just looked at me with wide eyes.

So apparently I should have joined Circus Society a lot earlier, because apparently I'm cut out for that sort of stuff, laughter.

Came back, hung 'round, ate, was tempted to not go out. Batgirl was getting a taxi by herself anyway and didn't mind that I didn't have any money to pay because she was going to anyway. I got ready and we went out. Very few people were there when we first showed up. People came in about a half-hour later. Eventually Siege/CJ came and was shocked to see me there. We ran to each other and I lifted her up and spun her around. (She had tried to do it to me after the Eco exam and I had said, "CJ, I'm heavy, don't do that!" and then pointed to the ground, "Plump people are meant to stay on the ground. Firmly on the ground." Even though I'm not really plump.) So I spun her around and then she started licking my cheek (I had been warned). What I wasn't prepared for was her mouth crashing into mine and tongue, soooo I stepped back and started laughing (uncomfortably) and going "Well, what the frak!" She had also crashed her lip piercing into mine, given her precision I will blame that on the ample supply of alcohol and drugs going through her body.

So that was ick and left me a bit unhappy. Now it's more comical to me but I was upset at the time. Batgirl didn't have to suffer tongue. At this point I'm guessing it's 'cause I'm not straight. Sigh. Silly Siege.

I had fun dancing. Made friends with Becky again. Batgirl was having a bad time because Pirate decided to show up and start drinking, but whenever she went over to him he ignored her. Then she tried to kiss him at one point and he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to order a drink here." He then went off to a corner and literally sulked. Batgirl demanded she buy me drinks. The first time I let her go alcoholic and had a green apple sourz. I liked the taste but, thankfully, there was no effect. I hate the feeling of when anything starts affecting my mind. One never does that, so that's where I draw the line. When she wanted to again and wouldn't take "tap water" as an acceptable answer, I went with coke. We danced more and she loosened up a bit but not much. Pirate eventually left. He sent texts asking why he hadn't received any attention. Apparently he had been sitting in the corner waiting for attention. So he wants attention in the corner, but not at the bar? Then he started sending texts about how he's going to kill himself. Batgirl wasn't going to go because I was there having a good time, but I told her I was only there for as long as she wanted to be there, and I was ready to go any time. We said goodbye to Siege and everyone was leaving anyway.

We walked back to the taxis. The chavs all made lots of comments. "Oh, look at these pretty ladies!" and then about Batgirl, "Look at the one with the pink hair!" from someone else and his friend said, "Naw man, she's with a hobbit." I laughed and told Batgirl I was impressed they knew their fantasy well enough to know what a hobbit was, let alone pinpoint the beautiful traits in a person that make them like a hobbit! I was flattered. Batgirl laughed--apparently she wasn't used to reactions like mine. More boys started calling, "Oh girls! Have a look? Oh, come now." We kept walking and whispered about how pathetic they were. She was spooked but she calmed down when I got her laughing, so I think she was better with that.

We talked about what to do in a situation of rape and, as is our nature, put a spin of hypothetical amusement into it. (Note: We know rape isn't amusing. Nor, really, are death, war, hunger, poverty, world destruction, sexually-transmitted infections, etc. We are aware. Sometimes we still joke about things that are hard and things that matter.) I had just said, "I would add, 'And sorry about the Herpes, it's a bit of an inconvenience but you'll get used to it.'" (That actually wasn't much of a joke.) A kind boy stopped in his tracks and laughed, and turned to say, "What, Herpes?" and we explained we were talking about rape and he joined in the conversation a little--my intuition markers weren't going off--and then asked if we knew where some specific food joint was. Batgirl pointed to the left and told him she didn't know where his one was, but that place was great. He thanked us, we told him to have a greet weekend, and we parted ways. Talked about Sass on on the way home. Batgirl went off to rescue Pirate from the doldrums.

I came up and did my post-it-ripping ritual, stacked everything on my bed and then on my trunk and got into bed. Slept late today. Skipped dinner. Supernoodles for tea. I'll figure something out for tomorrow night, maybe a walk to the store for cup noodles.

We still ended up having a nice night, somehow. I enjoyed myself. This weekend and Monday it's back to my Studious Self. After last exam I'm going to Hungerford to have a night out with Jojo and her friend Zoe. That Friday night it's Spectrum, the uni LGBTQ dance night. Saturday I don't know. Sunday lots of groups to meet up with, probably.

As usual, this entry went on way longer than I intended. Rock on.
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Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Sin and Sinner

I'm trying to be patient and kind and compassionate. I really am.

I was making noodles today and Harry followed me to the kitchen, back from the fields. He said he went to a Pure meeting, run by the Christian Union. I just smiled.

He told me, "And we were going over Godly relationships, and homosexuality."

Insert groan here. I nodded and listened. I watched the microwave as he said, "And I was wondering if we could, you know, have a conversation about homosexuality some time."

I turned and asked as kindly as I could, "What is there to say, Harry? What can I say?"

He then went on to tell me about all they had been learning and how he wanted to tell me the beliefs and I believe I let slip something like, "Oh, so you want to tell me things. Alright, that works."

He tried to explain something they had talked about. "And how we're not supposed to like it, and..."

I fervently wished the microwave would bing. It didn't. I said softly, "Hate the sin, not the sinner."

He was utterly shocked. He said, "Whoa, that's exactly the line! I didn't know you would know that!" and gave more astounded words. I sighed and turned to him again. "Harry, when you're someone groups of people hate for something you can't control nor want to, you have to research and understand who hates you." He looked more shocked.

Then he told me how the CU (Christian Union) didn't agree with the "Hate the sin, love the sinner" because they didn't think you could do that. So he told me he wants to tell me his beliefs on it all.

I will sit down. I will listen. My head will explode, but it will all be hidden. We parted amiably and he left.

I looked out the window and started rambling about how this certainly wasn't the type of stuff I face back home, it's so very foreign to me. I said, "Godly relationships. You shouldn't hate me for my homosexual relationships, you should hate them for not being godly--they can't because I don't believe in God, and this is driving me mad!" The microwave blinged right as I finished. I said, "Thank you Mistress Fate, Universal Force, thank you for the sign and more importantly my meal! And thank you for letting me not go mad unless I'm on my own!"

Now I'm going to enjoy my noodles and, my goodness gracious green earth, I am going to TRY to be patient with naive little Christian boys and religion in general and awkward pauses.

Less than a month until I'm back in my Queer bubble, making jokes about Sinners and Sins, and how delightful they are.
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